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I just have this weird feeling since coming out of the church.
mrsnacks:
I really don't know how to put it. But especially in the past year I have been feeling strange. It is like basically everything I believed has been turned on it's head especially in the past 7 months. It has been a process but has escalated in the speed of light in less than a year. Holding to views like free will, hell, and so much more and then not believing these false doctrines anymore has left me feeling strange.
I then go to church ( the building ) not because I approve, but God has used me to reach a few people there and they are coming out of the church. Otherwise I was going to drop out and not attend. Just didn't feel like I belonged but I care about the people there. But when I go and it is like I have a new set of eyes. I see people there that are wearing masks. I see that most aren't satisfied living their lives like they are pretending that they are. It is not a feeling but more something deeper than that in my spirit.
As I have talked to a few in deep open conversation - I know that I am right.
I also sense this from the clergy there.
I ask this here to see if anyone can put a handle of what I am going through. It is like waking up the next morning and finding yourself in a different bed in another country.
So I have learned and still getting from God's hand His truths but then what. Is it just more learning. I feel free but then a little lost. ???
bambam:
mrsnacks,
I know exactly how you feel, except maybe I am still trying to come to terms with the truth. I have a mixture of emotion-I feel like someone gouged a hole out of me, but I feel thrilled and excited at the same time. Does that make sense.
My beliefs have also been turned on end-everything is not as it was-yet I am excited to keep learning new things and finding out more and more.
I walk into church and I honestly don't want to be there except for the fact that there are so many wonderful people there and some of them are my close friends. I also feel like people are wearing masks-I felt that way a long time before I came to Bible truths and it caused, among other things, much depression in me. But now that I know the truth and it makes so much more sense than before I see them in a totally different light! Like you, I care about them as well. I have not told anyone about what I have learned yet-but I hope I get the chance to sometime.
Oh, it's so hard to explain the whole church thing!! But I understand what your saying. Last night a little girl got "saved", and all the workers were so excited about it and I just had to kind of fake my excitement. Having to do that at this point kind of makes my stomache turn. In the past(before Bible truths), I noticed how people can be at church and be well versed in some scripture and know all about what Christians are and and how they should act, but the ability to talk to these people one on one about the things of God was almost non-existent. It bothered me alot. But I see now that they honor God with their lips and their hearts are far from Him.
Coming completely out is going to be very painful for me, but I know if God drags me out, then I will go.
Just know that you are not alone in this feeling strange thing. I love and care for these people very much, and I also have a new set of eyes-but what to do about it at this point-I have to wait for God to do it-because I have no clue!!!
Blessings to you! Great question!
Beth
hillsbororiver:
Hi mrsnacks & April,
It does sound like you both are sharing a "Gershom" type experience. ;)
Having never really been a fully committed member of a church as many (my wife included) have been I do not have the fond memories or emotional attachments that I am sure can be an internal tug of war, my own battle has been worldliness itself, not the church world, I mean the secular world of gain, pleasure and selfishness but as I learn more and more the differences between the two systems seem blurred at best.
I too missed my friends and what we once shared but I am less inclined to seek them out any longer taking comfort in the fact that God has planned for them as He has for us and He will ultimately bring us all together once again. When He does (in His time) it will be a glorious and perfect reunion!
Praise Him!
Joe
Evan600:
--- Quote from: mrsnacks on May 24, 2007, 04:02:38 PM ---I really don't know how to put it. But especially in the past year I have been feeling strange. It is like basically everything I believed has been turned on it's head especially in the past 7 months. It has been a process but has escalated in the speed of light in less than a year. Holding to views like free will, hell, and so much more and then not believing these false doctrines anymore has left me feeling strange.
I then go to church ( the building ) not because I approve, but God has used me to reach a few people there and they are coming out of the church. Otherwise I was going to drop out and not attend. Just didn't feel like I belonged but I care about the people there. But when I go and it is like I have a new set of eyes. I see people there that are wearing masks. I see that most aren't satisfied living their lives like they are pretending that they are. It is not a feeling but more something deeper than that in my spirit.
As I have talked to a few in deep open conversation - I know that I am right.
I also sense this from the clergy there.
I ask this here to see if anyone can put a handle of what I am going through. It is like waking up the next morning and finding yourself in a different bed in another country.
So I have learned and still getting from God's hand His truths but then what. Is it just more learning. I feel free but then a little lost. ???
--- End quote ---
I must say that I know how you feel as well. It wasn't long after I discovered these 'mysteries' that I was really sickened by church. I told the Bishop and head Pastor that I just couldn't go along with this anymore. I also spoke with many others about this. I was told however NOT to mention these things to others in the church. This was a very hard thing to do, and I kind of justified to myself being able to talk to others about it by saying that "I would try not tell anyone." That ended up bad.
Soon I realized that I just had to leave. The Bishop and Pastor had a "two on one" with me for about 2 hours. That was a horrible time. I just believed that it was not me speaking. I was at a time where I just didn't know what to think about anything. I still feel this way a lot. I used to minister in the jail, and now I don't. I felt as if I should just take time and seek God, and let Him show me, and give me understanding. I honestly just don't know what to think about anything so much. Leaving everything you know...for what? We always want to DO something. Ya know what I mean? It is for the truth of God, that Jesus may be known. I just couldn't bear with hearing that stuff on Wed. and Sun. anymore. It was like fingernails going down a chalk board. It still is if I listen to it. When I talk to people I go to church with about God, that turns out to be soooo uncomfortable. There is that 'church herd' mentality. It makes me cringe.
Anyway, I'm rambling, but I know where you're coming from. I guess we pray, and seek God, and Lord willing, the peace that passes ALL understanding will guard us.
--- Quote ---It is like waking up the next morning and finding yourself in a different bed in another country.
--- End quote ---
I know what you mean here as well. Of course, I may be little different in this regard as well. I've had a problem with 'church' for a long time, even before God started to open my eyes. It was just like the light got brighter. I mean REALLY bright all at once. I was always labled 'rebellious' because I had so many questions, and problems with 'doctrine.' I just thought I was supposed to go for some reason. Always felt like on the outside looking in. Then came the time to just pack it up. THANK GOD!!!!!
You'll make it my friend!! Know this for sure!
God bless,
Jason
GODSown1:
mrsnacks!,
wow! u r so ryte, u hit it on da Head! I feel xactly az Urve put it, Im jus glad sum1 write it, coz I couldntve put it n e better lol!, GODS inCONTROL!.
muchLOVE! Pera
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