I just read the article by Ray on love.
Here is a part of his article (highlighting is mine)
....Remember I gave you two definitions, and I said agapao in like a one-way street. The good Samaritan did not expect anything in return, for helping that man, who was dying on the side of the road, it’s a one-way love.
But then I said, this phileo, this brotherly love, this affectionate love, this give you a kiss on the cheek love, this is like a two-way street. That the reason we have this love for a close friend or wife and children, is because they reciprocate. You hug them, they hug you back. You do a favor for them, they do a favor for them back. You help them, they help you, you feel sad, when they feel sad, they feel sad when you feel sad. That’s why you get so close, you support each other, you love each other, you’re physically in contact, you see.
My daughter is 18, she still sits on my lap, there’s nothing wrong with that.
But, so I told you that there is a scripture, that actually tells you that? That that’s what phileo is, and that’s why phileo love exist. Yes there is a scripture, this is a remarkable scripture, John 16:27 f"or the Father Himself loves(phileo) you, because you loved Me and have believed that I came from God."There it is. Why does God love us, His elect?
Because we loved Jesus Christ and to the Father that is the same as loving Him. Because no man has ever seen the Father or heard His voice at any time. But Jesus has made Himself known, in Spirit, in the Comforter and through His Word, you see.
So there’s your phileo love and it’s God’s definition. God agape love us, even if we split in His face. But that’s the reason He phileo loves us and He loves us and not the world. He does not, so phileo the world, it is not in there. He agape’s the world and not phileo them.
The only places you will see God phileo anyone, is His Son and us, the elect, no one else. Those who reciprocates, He loves us because He said (He is talking to His disciples now), My Father loves you and they didn’t know that before. But He said, I am telling you, My Father loves you, and the reason is, because you love Me. I’ve given them Your Word, I’ve been teaching you, it’s the same as the Father. The words that I speak , Christ said, they are the Father’s. The things that I do, the works that I do, it’s all the Father. And you excepted and reciprocated and love Me for it, and that is why My Father loves you.
There it is.
So here is my question,
Phileo love at first glance to me seems to be carnal love, love based on reciprocity. But Phileo love can not be carnal love, because it comes from the Father, and he himself phileo loves us.
And since it is God who works in us to do his good will, when we phileo love someone it comes from God. It is God working through us.
But many, or nearly all people, believers and non believers, phileo love someone, whether that be there kids, wife, mom, dad, dog, etc.
So does this mean that the God is working through all by his spirit?
yet another interesting point, is that the fruit of the spirit is agape love.
Is phileo love not a fruit of the spirit?