You know many years ago I used to think I wasn't a Christian really because I just couldn't sit through watching TBN or listen to Christian talk radio. It would make me sick. There were families I knew at the time that would have TBN on 24 hours a day practically. I guess Pharisees love being Pharisees.
Hey Snacks, I totally 100% understand. I've been there! But be careful because the people you can't reach really can't help it. That's the annoying part. That's the frustrating part. They may seem to enjoy their way, but do they really? Did you when you were part of it?
I've sat out of church for a long time. Once in a while I go to appease my wife. Next Sunday I may go because my brother in law is preaching. They think it's disrespect if I don't go. Ugh!
Anyway, my wife goes almost every week. Yesterday she came home and told me about her experience. I guess the youth group led the worship [or song] service. I heard that they were so annointed, that you could feel the presence of God, that it was just beautiful. Was it? I'm not sure because I wasn't there. Can you ever feel the presence of God in church? If so, why? Why would you be able to in a place where they're doing it all wrong? Is it psychological? Is it real? I don't know because I wasn't there, but she's pushing to pull me back in, and I'm resisting as kindly as I can.
But yeah back on topic here.
I know you want to help as many as you can, but if it's bogging you down then church is no place for you bro. You won't do any good unless God has it in His will to use you for that purpose. Does He? If I were a betting man I'd say no, because how many get called out? Few. How many have you reached? You said a few.
So I'm just saying basically in a nutshell after getting long winded like I do sometimes, that you have no reason for any guilt if you pull out of there. I sense guilt and frustration, which is totally understandable, but it's also unnecessary man. You will have done nothing wrong if you don't go back.
You can only do so much before it becomes futile. We can't shove it down their throats. They have to seek it. We plant seeds, but we can't control the weather.
IMHO
Matt