NEVER HEARD CREATION EXPLAINED THIS WAY BEFORE !!!
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and
Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said,
"You want hot fudge with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!"
and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some whipped cream."
And they gained 10 pounds.
And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt
that Woman might keep the figure
that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14. And man went from a 32 to a 36.
So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, Ranch Dressing, bacon bits, buttery croutons and
garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their
belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you
heart healthy vegetables,
and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish
and chicken-fried steak so big
it needed its own platter. He deep fried the vegetables and added Ranch dressing and cheese sauce.
And Man gained more weight and
his cholesterol went through the roof.
God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake,"
and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food," and said, "It's better."
God then brought forth running shoes
so that His children might lose
those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with
a remote control so Man would not
have to toil changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light
and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy center
into chips and deep-fried them. He baked them and drenched them in butter, sour cream, and bacon bits.
And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories
and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's
and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes!
And super size them!"
And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created
quadruple bypass surgery.
Then Satan created HMOs.
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Topic: A new explanation of creation (Read 4276 times)