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Author Topic: Do We Need a Disclaimer?  (Read 7401 times)

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hillsbororiver

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Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« on: June 24, 2007, 12:13:31 PM »

Everyone seems to have a disclaimer of some sort affect them in their personal lives, businesses, insurances, etc. maybe we need one as well, in trying to cover every base sometimes we don't cover anything at all, how about this?

Disclaimer:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This posting does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my cat; don't quote me on that; don't quote me on anything; all rights reserved; this document is distribution copyrighted to the extent that you may distribute this posting and all its associated parts freely but you may not make a profit from it or include the article or parts of it in commercial publications, or as part of any fee-based services or products; further redistribution’s only allowed unedited and in its entirety by electronic transfer (anonymous FTP, Gopher, WWW and mail servers), storage media, and printed copy as long as this notice is included and no monetary fee is charged; subject to change without notice; text is slightly enlarged to show detail; resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and coincidental; all models are over 18 years of age; dry clean only; do not bend, fold, or mutilate; anchovies or jalapenos added upon request; your mileage may vary; no substitutions are allowed; for a limited time only while supplies last; offer void where prohibited; is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; equal opportunity joke employer; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; caveat emptor; read at your own risk; may contain material some readers find objectionable; parental advisory: explicit lyrics; keep away from pets and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; ask us about our trade-in plan; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries not included; action figures sold separately; jokes were packed full, contents may have settled during mailing; sanitized and sealed for your protection; do not use if safety seal is broken; do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment; safety goggles may be required during use; call before you dig; use only with proper ventilation; for external use only; if a swelling, redness, rash, or irritation develops, discontinue use; do not place near a flammable or magnetic source; keep away from open flames; avoid inhaling fumes or contact with mucous membranes; contents under pressure, may explode if incinerated; smoking these may be hazardous to your health; the best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh; text is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test this, no salt, MSG, preservatives, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult someone who cares; are ribbed for your pleasure; slippery when wet; must be 18 to enter; possible penalties for early withdrawal; one size fits all; offer is valid only at participating Internet sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; if defects are found, do not try to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; please remain seated until the we have come to a complete stop; objects in the mirror may be funnier than they appear; this disclaimer does not cover hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and other Acts of God, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, unauthorized repair, improper installation, misuse, typos, misspelled words, missing or altered signatures, and incidents owing to computer or disk failure, accidental file deletions, or milk coming out of your nose due to laughing while drinking; other restrictions may apply. If something offends you, lighten up, get a life, and move on.

What do you think?  ;)

Joe

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iris

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #1 on: June 24, 2007, 12:21:52 PM »

I think that just about covers it all!!!  :D


Iris

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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #2 on: June 24, 2007, 12:26:18 PM »



Disclaimer....is that not just another word for not being accountable? Legally speaking that is ;D...getting off the proverbial hook so to speak :D...while still fishing! :D

Where did you get that one Joe! ;D  ;D

Good one!

Peace to you

Arcturus :)
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gmik

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #3 on: June 24, 2007, 02:40:03 PM »

 ;D ;D
That sums up the world we're living in!!!
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hebrewroots98

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #4 on: June 24, 2007, 04:06:30 PM »

Good one as usual Joe!   ;D

When Daniel was in PRESCHOOL, I came in to pick him up from 'school' and his  teacher pulled me to the side and told me that I needed to sign this paper.  I said, "what is this about?"  She said, "read it".  After reading it I told her that I couldn't believe that she has "WRITTEN UP" my 5 y.o. son for giving a little 4 y.o. girl a "PONY RIDE ON HIS KNEE" (as I would do to him) and that she is accusing my 5 year old af SEXUAL HARASSEMENT!!!!!!!  I told her that it is now time for me to begin homeschooling my child b/c I was not about to start putting up with 12 years of this kind of treatment from teachers who will forfeit their common sense of what is natural and innocent of children this age,  just for the fear of getting sued!   Yep, can you believe it????????????...
a pony ride on the knee was equivalent to sexual harassment!!!! ??? ::)

DISCLAIMER: Caution: pony rides can be dangerous to your health!!!!I mean pocketbook!!! ;)
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #5 on: June 24, 2007, 04:15:34 PM »

Wow Susan!

That is depraved! The teacher must be insane! or so damaged that she should be doing something else like attending to pot plants where she can not contaminate small minds with putrid thoughts!

God was making sure you would leave the zone and do what He was causing you to do! .... home school...No mistakes with God.

Our house cleaner planned to kidnap our son. We found out. It was real...don't want to elaborate. Trust me. It was for real! That was our kick in the rear to move out of house and home and relocate....! That same night we moved home and never looked back!...It has been such a blessing that we did too!

God knows which buttons to press to get us to move! 8) ;D...This happened to us seven years ago! We were to hard headed to have been willing to move with a more gentle method in those days... ;D :D
We are hopefully more plyable in Gods sacred hands now!

Peace to you

Arcturus :)

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GODSown1

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #6 on: June 24, 2007, 10:48:29 PM »

lol! wow! Susan,
                    Sorry 4 laughn, But! its more intended @ da Teacher :D d@s crazy!! :D, Arcturus! wotacrkuP!! lol! :D. Well Susan all I can say is GOD has sum strange ways of revealing fings, aye!?? lol! :)
                     muchLOVE!! Pera
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hebrewroots98

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #7 on: June 25, 2007, 01:42:43 AM »

"WOW" ARC  to you too!  How horrendous and scarey must that have been!  That would make me a more over protective mother than before.  Good thing you moved!   :(  Oh, this teacher was a first year lead teacher with a 4 yr teachers' degree and i told her that she was way too legalistic.  Apparently she was in the wrong profession, she should have gone to law school.  I did not tell Daniel until recently that I pulled him out b/c of this, so he wasn't even effected by it, praise God!  He didn't remember her or the occassion, but, he thought that she was crazy too.  Amen, no mistakes by God.

Your'e funny Pera!  I know what you mean though! ;)
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hebrewroots98

  • Guest
Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #8 on: June 26, 2007, 11:50:56 AM »

(lol) here is another one that I came across yesterday!


(MATT AND DIANA...COVER YOUR EARS HERE... ;) ;) ;)YEP, I GOT SUCKED INTO A SHORT STINT OF "THE ROSWELL UFO CONVENTION" THAT WILL BE TAKING PLACE OVER THE 4TH OF JULY WEEKEND...I WAS ACTUALLY LOOKING FOR A CLOSE GETAWAY RETREAT FOR OUR 17TH ANNIVERSARY THAT HAPPENED TO COINCIDE WITH THIS CONVENTION AT THAT TIME, SO WHEN I TYPED IN ROSWELL, NEW MEXICO, THIS CAME UP...(LOL)....


"DO TO THE SENSATIVE AND EXPLOSIVE NATURE OF THE TOPICS BEING DISCUSSED IN THIS LECTURE, WE ARE NOT ANNOUNCING THE SPEAKER'S NAME UNTIL HE ARRIVES TO OUR SEMINAR SAFELY".  (HOW WAS THAT ONE JOE?) ;D ::) :-X
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hillsbororiver

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Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2007, 04:36:25 PM »

Hi Susan,

That was beautiful!  :D

No way to prepare picket signs or refutations in advance, very clever these organizers.

Thanks,

Joe
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Joel

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Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #10 on: April 23, 2011, 12:58:01 PM »

DO NOT REMOVE UNDER PENALITY OF LAW. :)
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Duane

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Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2011, 03:59:00 AM »

Instructions repeated three times on our air conditioner:  DO NOT DROP OUT OF WINDOW
Warning on small wheelbarrow:  NOT FOR HIGHWAY USE
Warning on flat iron:  DO NOT IRON CLOTHES WHILE WEARING THEM
Warning on clothes dryer:  DO NOT REMOVE CLOTHES WHILE TUB IS SPINNING
Warning on McDonald's coffee cup:  CONTENTS IS HOT

THIS PRODUCT IS GUARANTEED NOT TO:   RUST, DUST, BUST,-- SAG, DRAG, BAG,-- LAG AT THE HEELS,-- OR IN ANY WAY OBSCURE THE EYESIGHT!   
 
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2011, 05:32:35 AM »



THIS PRODUCT IS GUARANTEED NOT TO:   RUST, DUST, BUST,-- SAG, DRAG, BAG,-- LAG AT THE HEELS,-- OR IN ANY WAY OBSCURE THE EYESIGHT!   
 

Not to be crude.....the product so guaranteed, as described above, sounds like it could be a breast implant... :D

Arc
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onelovedread

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Re: Do We Need a Disclaimer?
« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2011, 02:54:48 PM »

When Christendom uses the bible that states all are saved and then preaches that not all can be saved, I guess that's their disclaimer.
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