I thank God the Father, through Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour for this opportunity to write.
I hope you, and your family are doing well in the Lord.
Its been along time coming this e-mail, and it will be God's will for you to read it and a response would be lovely, as time permits you.
Boy, seven years ago a very 'bizzare' event took place in my life. I was truck driving and I'd just broken up with a girl I had dated on and off for six years. At the time I was addicted to several rather harmful substances, and living a very grotty lifestyle of sex, drugs and rock n roll. While driving, I had a big cry session over the despair of life and cried out to a God whom I knew near nothing about. Well from there, as you know, its been a very bumpy ride with alot of twists and turns.
I'll cut to the chase, so this e-mail doesn't blow up real big. After an amazing encounter with a very real and living God, I became a charasmatic, then a pentecostal, then a seventh day baptist and then an adventist, well any friends I had left thought I was loosing my marbles. I never read while I was growing up, and now the Bible was my new addiction. I struggled to sit still in these churches, and I kept asking God's will to be done even if I didn't like it. Well, I haven't liked much of it. This last seven years has had lots of pain, let downs, persecutions and then theres the revelations of your own carnal pride along the way. What a crazy mixture. Thanks to Jesus and the Father I'm growing into a very loving person, but for the last four years its been done without fellowship with the very unusual church world.
Aftre the first three years of some very contrasting churches and a real bewilderment, I ended up studying the book of Revelation a fair bit. Along with some fairly Old Covenant views on the Sabbath and the like, I ended up being led to an ex WCOG chap named Neville V Stevens. If you haven't been there Ray, his website is
www.zion.ministries.com Well, I'm not to proud of what I become. As usual I jumped in with both feet. Left my home town of Tauranga, NZ and moved in with other believers of this end-times man of God. I was 100% sure, after months of studying his material that he was who he claimed (somewhat secretively) to be......one of the two end-time witnesses, and the Elijah who was to come.
The people had such a reverance for God and His word and boy the scripture knowledge was amazing. Well this was a pretty tough eighteen months, and after much anguish, I left the group and returned to mainsteam christianity, but with no church attendance.....just alot of time studying on the computer. That was nearly two years ago. In that time I've been really into home church and all the teaching out there on returning to the 'early church' way of living. A chap wrote a lovely book called 'The Blueprint' he is at
www.theearlychurch.com that has really impacted me, and theres the team at
www.allathisfeet.com whom also write so beautifully about how to come together and be known by how we lay our lives down one to another.
And now theres this chap called L Ray Smith. Just when I think I'm nearly finding a bride that has very little blots and blemishes, with true blue love for the Lord and one another, and I can sell up everything and go be with them.....Well I stumble upon your webite, WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING UP ANY THING TO DO WITH YOU AND WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THE BIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gosh, that was nearly three months ago now and its doing my mind in at times. I've read and read, studied and studied, downloaded the audios.....thank you Dennis, Craig, Kat and the rest of the team, but not yet posted on the forum. I really have kinda been just watching and I did want my first post to be to you, so here I am :-) Its pretty scary Ray, I'll be honest. Three and a half years ago I believed in a mans view on the word of God that contradicted every mainstream doctrine that ever surfaced. I prayed and prayed, asking God to help me not be decieved, guess what. He let me go in there full on. I thought I tested everything and yet it was God's will for me to be decieved and fall from my first love.
So I have a very BIG question, if that man (whom I know now for sure is not the Elijah to come) is not him......then brother, are you the man the Bible speaks of, who will have true intruction in his mouth and will return the hearts of the children to the fathers, and the fathers to the children, before the great and terrible day of the Lord. Sorry for such a bold question, I probably should know from the works that our Lord is doing through you but I'm kinda weary and have very little strength left. In fact just weeks ago, after all the wonderful things our God has done for me in the last seven years, I felt like giving it all up because of the so many doctrinal views, angles, interpretetations and so on.
You, like Neville, have challenged me on nearly everything I've stood on. I've spoken in tongues, I've tithed, I'ved believed in Hell (yet hated every bit of it), I've believed in free will and believed in the trinity (yet felt very unconfortable with it).
I had the stuffing kicked out last time when I had to literelly deleaven myself at Zion Ministries, and just as I was preparing to live like the early church of Acts 2:43-47 believing that this was the example set for us, you enter my life and now I can't get together with these great brethren coz of there views on hell...........ARGGGGHHHHHH! Oh Lord, help me please.....I really want to worship you in Spirit and in Truth, hepl me please hang out with true brothers and sisters, exchanging phillio love, one to another.
I'm tired Ray. The Lord is getting bigger and bigger, and I sometimes feels I've learned more of who He isn't, than truelly who He is!!!!!!!
I have no other interest in life, they are all gone. I truelly want to be about my Fathers business. to know Christ crucified, to be one with Jesus as He is one with the Father. But I don;t want to do it alone any more. The wilderness is dry and barren, and sometimes I think me is seeing funny.
Can't wait to here from you, its been really great hanging with you and the gang through my little mp3 player. You are a blessing, and a friend, and a thorn in my side :-)
With phillio love I send this,
Vaughan
Dear Vaughan: I appreciate all that you have been through (many of us can say "amen" to your experience). I am not Elijah. I will tell you who I am. I am a 66 year old retired roofer who is growing a bit weary spending nearly 4000 hours a year in front of a computer monitor for eight years now without a vacation or a break. I study the Scriptures and share my knowledge with those who wish to read our web site. That about it. God will have to show you whether I teach the spiritual truths of His Word or not. Read and study carefully, and give it time. Don't rush from one teacher to another. ("Be STILL [relax] and KNOW that I am God..." Psalm 46:10). Don't seek Elijah--seek GOD. And join our Forum--they are good people over there, and they will encourage you.
God be with you,
Ray
