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Author Topic: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery  (Read 6026 times)

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Extol

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Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« on: June 25, 2007, 11:15:20 PM »

Yet I am saying to you that everyone dismissing his wife (outside of a case of prostitution) is making her commit adultery, and whosoever should be marrying her who has been dismissed is committing adultery.
Matthew 5:32


12 Now to the rest am I speaking, not the Lord. If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and she approves of making a home with him, let him not leave her.
13 And a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he approves of making a home with her, let her not leave her husband.
14 For the unbelieving husband is hallowed by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is hallowed by the brother, else, consequently, your children are unclean. Yet now they are holy.
15 Yet if the unbeliever is separating, let him separate. A brother or a sister is not enslaved in such a case. Now God has called us in peace.
1 Cor. 7:12-15


I have a couple questions about this:

1. Christ said whosoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery, but does that include only women who have been dismissed because of unfaithfulness? If there is a woman who gets divorced unwillingly by an unbelieving husband and is "not enslaved", as Paul says, does that mean that her new husband is not sinning, even though he is marrying a divorced woman?

2. Would it be hypocritical and too "holier-than-thou" of me to not go to a friend's wedding if he was marrying a divorced woman [and/or if he himself was divorced]?

Neither of these are current situations in my life; I am just curious.  :D
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Kat

  • Guest
Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2007, 12:40:46 AM »


Hi Extol,

You understand that Christ is speaking of the spirit of the law here.  Just as He said in;
Matt 5:22 "whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be liable to the judgment" and v. 28 "whoever looks on a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" also v. 32 "whoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery" 
These are all speaking of the spirit of the law, that the believers are held to a higher standard of keeping.  Believers should not hate anyone, they should not lust even in their heart, and they should not divorce.  These spiritual laws can only be kept by those who have Christ indwelling.
So divorce is not something to be taken lightly at all.  But it is not unlawful in scripture.  A person is not bound to a terrible marriage relationship.
I found this email on divorce.

http://www.forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,2774.0.html -----

Divorce:  The only way that Jesus said one can leave a mate and/or marry another is if there is "pornia" present (called 'forniction') in the King James.  Pornia means "prostitution," but it can also mean a host of sexual immorality.  Also, Paul tells us that if a man will not provide for his own family, he is "WORSE than an infidel." The same is true of a man who deserts his family, or abuses his wife or children. In such cases of "immorality" a mate should not be considered bound.
     
    God be with you,
    Ray
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

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musicman

  • Guest
Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #2 on: June 27, 2007, 06:51:40 PM »

I have thought about this extensively.  I have never married and am now 36.  I'm in a position where most available women in my age group are devorced, often with kids.  This seriously limits my options.  Now I am far from defeating my sins of lust and so forth.  However, if I marry someone who is divorced, I would be commiting adultry for the entire marriage (a lifetime if I stay married to her).  This means that I would never please God.  Is there some spiritual loophole to this dillema of mine that might get me off the hook, or should my first question on every date be "have you been married?".  This is a real issue to me, even though my friends would laugh at me if I were to tell them.  Ahhh, forget them.  So, what's the verdict.
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YellowStone

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2007, 07:06:16 PM »

Hi Everyone,

I married a woman who was divorced, actually she had been married twice beofore. Her first husband was murdered and her second was manic and totally abused her.

However, out of this came two smart hansome and kind sons, sixteen years apart. One who was 9 years old when his mom and I were married. He calles me dad and has his named changed because he wanted to be my son. Love is thicker than blood and I have no regrets marrying my wife whom I love and care fior very much. Did I commit adultery? Did I do amnything God had not planned for me to do?

Christ has some very strong words regarding adultery. How much difference is there from looking at a woman who catch's your eye, appreciately or lustfuly.

Mat 5:28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 

If I am an adulterer then so be it. Who wants to throw the first stone? :)

Jhn 8:3   The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group
 
Jhn 8:4   and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.
 
Jhn 8:5   In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”
 
Jhn 8:6   They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.

 
Jhn 8:7   When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”
Jhn 8:8   Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
 
Jhn 8:9   At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.

Jhn 8:10  Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
 
Jhn 8:11   “No one, sir,” she said.

“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

 
Love in Christ, who has forgiven all

Darren
« Last Edit: June 27, 2007, 08:23:56 PM by YellowStone »
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Kat

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2007, 08:07:36 PM »


It is my sincere belief that it is not a sin to get divorced or marry someone who is divorced.  I don't usually like to speak out so strongly about something that I feel is a personal matter.  But I see so many feeling trapped and not divorcing or marrying, because they feel they are, what, under the law?

Rom 7:6  But now we are released from the law, having died to that which held us captive, so that we serve not under the old written code but in the new life of the Spirit.

Gal 3:23  But before faith came, we were kept in custody under the law, being shut up to the faith which was later to be revealed.
v. 24  Therefore the Law has become our tutor to lead us to Christ, so that we may be justified by faith.
v. 25  But now that faith has come, we are no longer under a tutor.
v. 26  For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus.
v. 27  For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.
v. 28  There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
v. 29  And if you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's descendants, heirs according to promise.

Gal 4:20  I wish I could be present with you now and change my tone, for I am perplexed about you.
v. 21  Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not listen to the law?
v. 23  But the son of the slave was born according to the flesh, while the son of the free woman was born through promise.
v. 31  So, brothers, we are not children of the slave but of the free woman.

Gal 5:16  But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh.
v. 17  For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
v. 18  But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.

Now I will say I do not think divorce is good, and I think that you should strive to make a marriage work every way you can.  But that is not always possible.

I think a believer that has the spirit indwelling, should be lead by the spirit, because the spirit will not lead you astray.  I think many are still being held captive by the teaching of the church on this.  If in your heart you feel it is right, then that is the spirt speaking to you.
This is the way I see the scripture on this.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

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YellowStone

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #5 on: June 27, 2007, 08:32:54 PM »

Thank you Kat,

That is exactly how I see it. Thanks for standing up for the Scriptures as you understand them. I read them as you.

Your brother in Christ,

Darren
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mari_et_pere

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #6 on: June 28, 2007, 02:17:19 PM »

I also married a divorced woman. My wife was in an abusive marriage when she was younger. My first child was my step-daughter. She was 1 when I met her, she's now 9!

Darren I totally relate to ya and agree with you 110% man. Biological means nothing to me. My daughter is as much mine, yet even more, than her "real" dad's daughter, and she's mine just as her younger sister and brother are. I was the only father she had until "Chris dad" came back around. That's what she calls him. I'm daddy, he's Chris Dad. She was almost 3 when his parents sued for visitation rights. Things are much better now, but these fundamentalists who say divorce is always wrong will never sway me.

Law? What Law? Jesus came to usher that out. We're under the covering of a New Covenant where a woman doesn't have to put up with being abused and used her whole life. I'm sure I can get an "AMEN" from the women from that one!  ;D ;D

Something interesting on a side note, and I don't know if any of the other married people on the forum had this experience or not, but when I met my wife, way before we were married, it felt as though God had already married us. I mean truely it did. We had many discussions about that before we'd been married. It felt as though we needn't get the license and the certificate, that those didn't matter. It seemed to us that in God's eyes, we'd already married. I don't know. Maybe we were just crazy kids in love. Sure seemed like God though!  :)

Matt

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Kat

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #7 on: June 28, 2007, 04:28:38 PM »


Hi Matt,

This can open a big can of worms.

1Co 7:2  But because of the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Here's an email from Ray.

http://www.forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,2679.0.html -----
   Dear Reader:

    Pre-marital sex is just as much a sin as extra-marital sex. If you want to

    sleep together, get married.  If you don't love each enough to marry,

    don't sleep together..

    God be with you,

    Ray 
----------------------------------------------------

February 4, 2007 first half bible study on "marriage."

http://bible-truths.com/audio/marriage1.mp3
http://bible-truths.com/audio/marriage2.mp3

mercy, peace, and love
Kat



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excellenttrader

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #8 on: June 28, 2007, 05:50:32 PM »

I haven't gotten to the marriage audios yet.  Do they by any chance address where/how to go about finding a like minded believer suitable for marriage?  I've been single for a while now and have recently gotten to a point in my life where I'd like to have someone else to share it with.  I thought the field was thinned enough for me when I was in the church and trying to only find another in the church so that I wouldn't have to face the challenge of being "unequally yoked."  ;)  Now that I've come to BT, the field seems to be even thinner.  After reading through the forums I have seen over and over again where many of you were already married when you came across BT and now you and your spouse are no longer of the same beliefs.  I'm not interested in going through that at any point in a relationship, so I'd prefer to not get in one in the first place where we aren't on the same page.  I suppose that I could just sit back and wait until a suitable like minded lady bumps into me.  But that's always seemed to me akin to needing a job and sitting around the house hoping the phone will just magically ring with an empoyer on the other end looking to hire an employee with my exact skill set.  Its always made more sense to me to actually look in the classifieds and send out resumes.   Now though I don't know where find the classifieds to look through in order to send out resumes.  It never seemed to be at the clubs, now its not in the church, it sure doesn't seem right to be trying to hunt through the members section on this forum.  Perhaps someone knows of a thread on here where this has already been addressed or perhaps it is mentioned by Ray in his marriage audios?  Thanks, Mike
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Kat

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #9 on: June 28, 2007, 06:47:30 PM »


Hi Mike,

No I don't think that Ray went into that in the marriage audio.  It was mainly about what the Bible teaches about the marriage ceremony.  That little piece of paper has a lot of weight in God's eye.

But I can see your situation. 
It seems to me, that you should pray for God to guide you in this matter. 

I don't think you should limit yourself to a particular place, where you may find a person you can relate to.  God may lead you to find someone in the most unlikely place.  Leave all possibilities open to meet someone.
I do not think you should have a list of requirements either, give a person a chance to start off with.  By limiting it to a believer, I think your chances are near zero  :-\  Those that believe this truth are few and far between.  Of course you want someone that will be understanding and except your beliefs, but finding someone that already has these beliefs, well if you don't mind traveling  ;)
I think if you are realistic, and look for someone who has a good character, that is what is important.  God will works this out, listen to your heart.

mercy, peace, and love
Kat

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rk12201960

  • Guest
Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #10 on: June 28, 2007, 06:59:41 PM »

Hi Mike.
I hear what you're saying. Seems all the good ones are taken huh.

I'm very careful as to who and when I begin again I don't think I can take a shot like the last time again.

I asked God to find me a bride (as my sisters says not a wife because they are taken. lol D) as I don't trust my own judgement as I thought Carol was the one for me. NOT I didn't see that train coming.lol

Anyway I'll pray for you bro as I know being without the better half really sucks.

Peace and Love to you.
Randy
 ??? 8) ???
« Last Edit: June 28, 2007, 07:01:09 PM by Randy »
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rick

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #11 on: June 28, 2007, 08:06:49 PM »

the perfect mate is one who draws you closer to Jesus. i have been married 2 times and my wife 3 times. we strive to draw each other closer to our Savior. if we are living in continuous sin then i rest on the words of my Savior.......Father, forgive them for they know not what they do....................rick
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M_Oliver

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Re: Marriage/Divorce/Adultery
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2007, 09:45:58 PM »


Hi Matt,

This can open a big can of worms.

1Co 7:2  But because of the temptation to immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Here's an email from Ray.

http://www.forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,2679.0.html -----
   Dear Reader:

    Pre-marital sex is just as much a sin as extra-marital sex. If you want to

    sleep together, get married.  If you don't love each enough to marry,

    don't sleep together..

    God be with you,

    Ray

Mercy, peace, and love
Kat

Yea but: Romans 7.
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