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Hate

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mari_et_pere:
This was touched upon in another thread. It's super long already so I thought I'd start a new one with this thought.

I remember a time when I was full of hate. I hated this, I hated that, I hated people, I hated everything. Hate shows an inward discontentment and/or confusion. Through the years of growing spiritually and learning the truth I've learned, I've come away from that hate so much! I remember times when I'd get angry and/or express hate for this or that, and people would comment on how over hateful or angry I was. Now the roles are reversed a bit. Someone gets a little bent out of shape over this or that, and I think, 'gosh they sound like me.' Except they don't because I hardly ever get angry over stuff these days. Thank God for that! I remember that my anger and hate were like a prison. Why God had me in that prison I'm not sure, but I was there. Now I'm free! Thank God.

Would you all agree that to hate the sin is good, but hating the sinner is like hating God for what He's created? How can I hate you without blaming God for making you? Or myself for that matter. I give credit to my wife for making me realize that to hate yourself is like blaming God for making a mistake when He created you.

Joh 7:7a  The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth,

I try to keep this verse in mind when I start to get angry at someone and think or talk hatefully about them:

Mat 5:44  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

I don't really know why I posted this. Just felt led.

Matt

lilitalienboi16:

--- Quote from: mari_et_pere on June 27, 2007, 12:05:00 PM ---This was touched upon in another thread. It's super long already so I thought I'd start a new one with this thought.

I remember a time when I was full of hate. I hated this, I hated that, I hated people, I hated everything. Hate shows an inward discontentment and/or confusion. Through the years of growing spiritually and learning the truth I've learned, I've come away from that hate so much! I remember times when I'd get angry and/or express hate for this or that, and people would comment on how over hateful or angry I was. Now the roles are reversed a bit. Someone gets a little bent out of shape over this or that, and I think, 'gosh they sound like me.' Except they don't because I hardly ever get angry over stuff these days. Thank God for that! I remember that my anger and hate were like a prison. Why God had me in that prison I'm not sure, but I was there. Now I'm free! Thank God.

Would you all agree that to hate the sin is good, but hating the sinner is like hating God for what He's created? How can I hate you without blaming God for making you? Or myself for that matter. I give credit to my wife for making me realize that to hate yourself is like blaming God for making a mistake when He created you.

Joh 7:7a  The world cannot hate you; but me it hateth,

I try to keep this verse in mind when I start to get angry at someone and think or talk hatefully about them:

Mat 5:44  But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

I don't really know why I posted this. Just felt led.

Matt

--- End quote ---


Matt, i know why you posted this, and i was on the verge of posting the same exact thing. Oh how the Lord works, haha.

The other day, i was haveing a conversation with my X girlfriend, she was over and useing my computer in our downstairs room. She had frustrated me, and infact hurt me, and that hurt for about 5 minutes turned to anger. I had taken my eyes off Christ, and Lost it. I was ashamed after, i never even apoligized to her, i just kept thinking, 'YOU ARE WRONG' YOU DID THIS, ITS YOUR FAULT, but i never looked at the pig and beast that i was. Oh how ashamed i am, and i feel discusting for haveing hurt her in this way, though she did hurt me, it takes two to tango and i played my part just as she did hers.

Anyway my mother heard me upset, and she came into the room and told me to get out and leave jacqueline alone so she can do her project. I refused, and i fought her. My mothjer left and about after 5 minutes i calmed down and talked to jacqueline normally. I had wanted her to see why she hurt me, and she did, and apoligized but i didn't think she was bieng sincere. My mother came back and shouted 'Alex get out of there, leave her alone and go.' My friends had all been waiting outside to go see a movie and i had kept them waiting for atleast 10 minutes now. My mother finaly came in the room after i refused to leave one more time, and i xploded. So much hate and anger came out of me, i yelled at her at the top of my longues, she held her ground, and it frustrated me. I was thinking, why cant she leave me alone, why can't i talk to jacqueline like a normal human bieng. Why can't i have a mature converstaion with another adault without bieng interrupted. She made it clear my friends were still waiting for me, and all i wanted to do was not leave on a bad note with jacqueline but rather a good one so i tried my best to make things alright and that was the reason for my delay, but my mother thought i was still trying to argue.

So much anger buillt in me, and finaly came out. I released it all on the wall, i had thrown my fist so hard into the wall that i pushed my pinky out of the socket, jammed the pinky finger and the finger right next to it, and the swelling began shortly after. I was in immense pain, and what a fool i was, i had deserved it i know. Judgement or chastisment, whichever it was, was brought upon me, and even now my hand is still swelled quiet a good bit, i can't use my pink or my finger next to it just because it hurts so much. However i truly saw the beast that night, that was still here in me lurking.

I havn't apoligized to my mother yet, or jacqueline.. i know i should. I hope that i learned whatever the Lord wanted me to learn from it. I think last night i finaly realized what that was, 'YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW ALEX' proclaimed a voice in my head, as i sat there, because in the middle night i had smacked my hand against the wall so hard again, and it swelled up again lest night, just as it was starting to go down. That thought kept comeing to me though, and i think the Lord was letting me knwo why He did this to me, and i've learned, i hope, and next time i need to remember who it is that i try and follow, whose commandments i'm trying to keep.

Well thats my story, i was thinking about shareing it, but it has all to much to do with anger, and matt, i think i'm that angry guy you think of when you look back at yourself, because the anger is here within me, but Lord willing this is the beginning of the end of it, because my hand HURTS REALLY BAD. LESSON LEARNED FATHER, FORGIVE ME ><

LOVE [i pray] in Christ,

Alex

mari_et_pere:
Alex, man! How many times have been in that same scenario? Hmm.......as with the hairs of my head only God knows!

I gotta say something to ya dude. No offense in this; only love man. But you say you reap what you sow, and you have a lesson to learn. It took me a long time to grasp this, but your hand isn't the only thing affected by what happened last night bro. Jaqueline and your mom also are. Now you say it takes two to tango, amen to that! BUT! As they are responsible for their part, you're responsible for yours, so there's like a three way offense going on here. They had their roles in hurting you, you had your's in hurting them. That's another lesson to learn from our anger. Other's are affected by it, not just our pinky fingers or knuckles.

What I'm saying is our angry outbursts at others affects them just like their's do to us. Anger can ruin relationships. I watched my sister's anger problem devastate her relationship with my mom and dad. I think anger is probably the number one cause of most faulty relationships. We gotta keep it in check; vent our passion in other ways.

But dude, lesson learned indeed. I've learned most of what I know the hard (stupid) way. I'm taking the less self-centered route these days. I've found that caring for the other person's feelings more than mine (hard as you-know-what to do) allows only justified anger bubble to the top instead of self-centered rage. Justified anger is a tool. The rage is folly which only hurts us and others.

You know the old saying, "practice makes perfect"? It fits here like a glove.

Love in Christ for sure man,

Matt

YellowStone:
Hey Matt and Alex,

Been there, done that and it is not pretty nor something I am proud of. It was always me against the world, or rather the world against me. It was always there fault, why else would I get angry.

Don't get me wrong, angry outbursts tend to release pent up tention and frustration. Which means, that it was not the anger I had to learn to curb for it was only the whistle on the relief valve. It was I who caused it to blow.

Someone told me something very profound (at least to me) and that was that NO ONE can make me smile, make me laugh or anger me. Absolutely NO ONE but myself. They went on to say that "Only I have the power of my emotions, no one else; my emotions are MY choice like it or not.

WOW!!!!  That was a sobering message, so they meant it was I who was choosing to build up resentment, anger, frustration instead of CHOOSING to let it go. What a concept! Suddenly I seen the fool that I am, a fool who was trashing the God given choices given to me.

This coupled with the realization that God has led me to a situation for a reason, that being to spread the fruits of the Spirit, just hit home like a tonne of bricks. Even my wife has realized a change in me, and she has picked up on it too. God has given us the ability to choose, and I soon learned that the world was not against me, but was rather my learning ground.

So I am not judging either of you, but I hope these words may touch you as they touched me.

God bless you both,

Darren

mari_et_pere:
Darren, you chose the words I meant to say!  :o

I realized some time ago that I control myself. Actually I can control, or I can hand over the reigns to the beast within and let him tear my emotions apart, leaving me spiritually weakened and confused. That's what I did for a long time. I was a mess. I don't think the present me would recognize the past me. Ten years ago I was really really messed up. A slow progression has brought me to where I am now.

It seems that people who don't practice controlling themselves eventually lose that control. Like I told Alex, practice makes perfect. At least close to it.  :)

Thank God for teaching us control.

Matt

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