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[chuckt]

 True Story...


A thermodynamics professor had written a take home exam
for his graduate students. It had one question:
"Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Support your answer with proof."


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed)
or some variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:


First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So,
we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.


As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do
not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and
all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.


Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure
in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls
are added. This gives two possibilities:


1). If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.


2). Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase
of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until
Hell freezes over.


So which is it?


If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Banyan
during my Freshman year,


"That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,"


and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true,
and so Hell is exothermic.


The student got the only A.

[Sorin]

"That it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,"

Bwahahahahahaha!!!!!

Ouch! That's not something you want to hear. 

[excellenttrader]

I was on another forum that has nothing to do with religion, or so I thought, but then I tripped over a different version of the "true story" here that chuckt found and posted.  But with a rather important difference which it seems Sorin will also appreciate.  Personally, I found this story to be hilarious and I might just enjoy getting the details down straight to have fun using it on my hell believing buds.

Here's the version I found...perhaps Teresa and Ms. Banyan aren't the same gal

 

This one's too good to not share....... 

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with olleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the religions which state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A" 

[Bamabee]

I haven't laughed that loud sitting alone in my living room in a long time!!

[Sorin]

Bwahahahaha!!!!!!   

Excellent post, Excellenttrader!   

[gmik]

 

Soooooooo funny!

[DuluthGA]

TRIPLE HA!!!  Janice