Ok, the scary thing is Diana...that I have had that passage from Hosea on my mind....and had forgotten it for awhile, then was thinking of it again this morning between 5 and 9 o'clock....I knew God is speaking to me about that. I hope it doesn't come to adultery, which I don't think it will for certain reasons...I know I couldn't handle that. But that passage has been brought up to me time and again in my mind. And of course I keep putting it out of my mind....
Hi James, yes I also don't think the passage in Hosea has anything to do with whether or not your wife will commit "adultery". But it does seem she is at present rejecting her role as a faithful wife to you, regardless of her reasons. It seems right now she can't make sense of what's going on inside her, she's in pain and can't help it. But that really is the point in Hosea. The husband (who typifies Christ) knows that his bride (God's people) can't help what they are doing in their rejection. It is part of the process. So perhaps this is what God is wanting to show you: you and your wife...
but also you "as the wife"....see what I mean?
I thought that God was telling me things (and maybe He was) and I thought I was the best person to love and take care of my wife. But the fights today just proved that I have a long way to go; I said hurtful things and was not who I should be. I am hard on myself though....I think I have had the patience of Job, but a man can only handle so much.
James, you are not "in the spiritual image of God" just yet, so please don't be too hard on yourself that you cannot consistently be "tender" to your wife. But it does seem God is refining this virtue in you, the one that continues to love someone beyond what is being done to them. Oh yes, your carnal mind may recoil and then attack back. This is a fleshy instinct, it seems, to attack in an attempt to "self-preserve". It is more than just a little hard to turn the other cheek!
You are the best person to love your wife, whether in marraige or out. Because you love her on a deeper level that likely neither of you quite understands just yet. But it is no different with God and us, we
know he loves us, maybe even
feel that he loves us, but we yet have an incomplete understanding of the depths of God's love towards us.
As has been witnessed in many posts on this forum, many are struggling with present sin (me including), returning whether in deed or in mind to unwanted sins and behavior. Though in our heart of hearts we WANT to be faithful to our Lord and Savior, we despair at ourselves in our apparent inability to do so. It seems there is much we have to go through before we can completely submit and trust in our God.
I am sorry to hear things do not seem to be working out well for you and your wife. Perhaps in time....but nevertheless, in the meantime, regardless of outer circumstances, it is more important to be honest with yourself and your wife...perhaps for now it really is the best thing that you are not together. This doesn't mean you cannot continue to "love" her, even if it means you have to move on. If she sees you have made peace with the situation perhaps that might be the thing that will bring her to her senses...
You know, sometimes we also have a tendency to make things too easy for the ones we "love", by allowing them to continue destructive behavior in our presence....I've struggled with this concept with someone in my own family for what seems like forever....you don't want to shut them out but you don't want to be an "enabler" either.....it's a tuff one.
Think of what God does. Does he allow us to continue in our despicable behaviors, or does he make the circumstances such that it becomes unbearable to continue in our present state? Perhaps this is what God will do, through you, for your wife, and vice versa.
These are just some of my thoughts as I pray for you and yours, and try to identify with your struggles (though they are different from mine). It is hard to make sense of situations like yours (and Pera's) because the family unit is such a precious thing.
I hope you will find comfort and peace sooner than later....
Much love and respect to you,
Diana