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My own private hell
keys2heaven:
Wow, that's some heavy stuff. I have two teenage daughters and I worry about them having a MySpace page.
I know alot of scripture has been posted, but I wanted to talk to you about your past. It would appear from your posts that both you and your wife have suffered very serious emotional damage prior to your marriage; damage that goes way back to childhood.
Why did you chose each other? What made you attracted to the other person? Did you feel a closeness to your wife because you both share pain in your childhood? I would venture to say that these emotions that have been undealt with for so long (from both of you) are screaming for resolution.
Have you talked with anyone? Marriage counselor? I know that God can do anything and restores broken marriags all the time. But, reading your posts, I am worried for your family and kids. Please, seek out professional help. The drinking is a problem and these kids will emulate what they see you doing. Do let them get caught up in this viscious cycle.
Praying for you,
Mike
Deborah-Leigh:
24/7 lemons and lemonade hey Claudia!
Me to, me to! :D
Peace to you
Arcturus :)
cjwood:
--- Quote from: Arcturus on July 24, 2007, 03:55:52 PM ---
24/7 lemons and lemonade hey Claudia!
Me to, me to! :D
Peace to you
Arcturus :)
--- End quote ---
i wanted to thank you for the scripture ref of luke 8:16. that is the scripture i was trying to remember in one of my posts about the fact that ever since i found out about my husband's infidelity this past december, that i had started hiding that Light in me underneath the vessel of accomodating my husband in order to try and keep him wanting me. my faith and belief in God was one of the points that my husband used against me to the other woman. i am so very ashamed that i treated my loving Father and my loving brother Jesus that way. but when i hid my Light is when God showed me His jealousy and i am so very grateful that He loves me so much that He would NOT allow me to hide what He had lit in me anymore. it was then that He showed me the spiritual prison i was in and that only His Son could bring me out. so again, thanks arcturus for the scripture ref.
here is a toast to you with His lemonade,
claudia :)
Shmeggly:
Hey Mike. Just to reply to your post....
I don't know why we ended up together, except it was meant to be. And I don't mean as a match made in heaven, it was just meant to be, and it happened.
No, we've never dealt with our pasts, and yes, it seems like most people don't get miraculously healed of their pasts without dealing with them. I am seeing someone right now for counselling, and today was my first day with this person. (I saw another person once, but didn't want to really go back). I felt this new one was a lot better, and I felt good after seeing her....and I made an appointment for next week. This was after an emotional morning of talking with my wife about our relationship....more stuff coming out. She might as well have hit me with a two by four; I was emotionally beaten.
Then, after coming home from the counsellor, and actually feeling some sort of hope for my life, we end up fighting because I brought up a question, and it got blown WAY WAY out of porportion....it's like I can't voice any opinion or anything....my kids or wife can do something wrong, I start talking, they all take sides against me, I start getting upset and then: IT BECOMES ABOUT ME GETTING UPSET! My son could have hit my daughter in the head with a bat, but if I start raising my voice, then I'm the bad guy! I feel so powerless and helpless: I literally feel like I am living in the Twilight Zone....and in trying to get my point across, and to let her know how at the end of my rope I was, I made my wife cry and I didn't want that.
My cousellor actually made me feel like I wasn't crazy; I am so sick of feeling like I am the bad guy all the time. I have made mistakes, and I have not been perfect, but I admit to that and take responsibility for what I've done. Nobody else seems to want to admit they're ever wrong....
Today was one of the worst days of my life. My counsellor (after hearing the story of my childhood and current life) was shaking her head! But she offered hope and I could tell she was engaged in our interaction.
Anyway....man. I am beat. I don't want to make my wife upset, I don't want to be upset, I just want some peace. I just want some respect, and to be able to have an opinion. I feel like I am talking Chinese on an alien planet! Does anybody else ever feel like this?
Harryfeat:
Hey James,
I have been truly moved by your posts and wanted to say that I am with you. I hope that sharing a post with you can somehow lighten your pain but I know it is up to Him.
One lesson I have learned is that you can't always avoid upsetting people. For example, telling someone you love them can be upsetting to them. All you can do is trust that God has set you on the right path and will help you to resolve your seemingly overpowering situation.
be blessed
feat
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