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My own private hell
seminole:
It is always amazing to me that here on the forum, like at work, like in a church, like anywhere people are gathered, you never really realize that we all are carrying pain of some sort. It puts us on a common level doesn't it? I pray for all whether they have spoken of their pain or not. We know the pains are there. Nole
keys2heaven:
Schmeggly:
Glad that you went and saw someone. Now you just need to get your wife there...somehow. She needs to talk to someone one on one. I don't think you two are at the point where you can both sit down and talk. You wife has some serious reflecting to do. I know about being meant for someone. My wife and I are that way. We were each others true first loves and we had to both go thru some real junk before we were reunited. Since that day, I've never left her side and I never will. She is my whole world.
Dealing with your past is sooooo essential. It's never too late and I'm very glad to know that you recognize this. Will it be painful, yes, but healing often is. I am very concerned about your wife's apparent self-destructing behavior. I can sort of understand why she might take it out on you. It's like dealing with teenagers. For example, I'm often the "bad guy" in my house because I believe in guildelines and rules, etc.. When I have to enforce something, then my daughters throw a fit, scream and tell. Do I feel like a piece of garbage, you bet. But, I read somewhere that kids do this to the one's they love because, believe it or not, they feel safe in expressing their emotions. So, in a wierd way, having them yell at me sorta lets me know that I'm o.k. and they do love me.
It's going to seem like 3 against 1. You're not powerless. Remain calm best you can. Your family is going to push your buttons on purpose. You're the one getting help, so they probably think to themselves that you're the one with the problem and they are "normal". But, they could be testing you to see if you are actually improving. Maybe if you show them that you can control your temper, then they will take note. Either that or they are going to keep on doing what they do. You can't make anyone see that they are wrong. It seems like most kids in my daughter's generation have a real problem with personal responsibility. I've lost track on how many times I've had to prompt them to apologize for yelling or fighting with their sister or even trying to get them to own up and confess when they've done something wrong. I want them to do this on their own without prompting, but it hasn't happened yet. Maybe my problem is that I expect it to be done immediately when maybe I just need to relax and see if it doesn't happen on its own.
You know what, I don't know how old your kids are, but there comes a point in their lives when you have to let them be responsible for their own actions and have them accept the consequences of them. And your wife needs to make a choice; keep on living this way knowing she could destroy her marriage and her life or get help.
This is the part where we Christians tell you to turn it over to God. I definitely don't want to make light of your situation, but God has foreknowledge of all of what is happening. Trust Him.
Good luck with the ongoing counseling. You're doing the right thing.
Shmeggly:
Hey Mike, your post came at a much needed time. I am feeling really badly about how I treated my wife today. And the kids....I have been doing so well, and nobody does seem to notice, and I feel like I am very alone at times.
So much of what you said helped. I know that my wife needs to speak to someone. But when I asked her again today (nicely) if she would see this lady, she said "why? I'm fine..." And after our fight today, I will not be suprised if she doesn't want to talk to me.
Like I said, she has never wavered in saying she's leaving; has never given me hope in anyway. Is she hurting, and would talking to someone help? Yes, I really believe it would. But it just doesn't seem to likely to happen.
I'm the rules guy here too! And things have gone to you know where after we left the church....and my wife had her meltdown. She is very anti church/God , and is very very bitter about the church. Because they have "kept her in the marriage" and always say to stick it out etc.
I am almost at the point where I feel like God is not even there. I admit it, I am very faithless. And broken....past the breaking point. That way today.
I don't know what else to say. I haven't been sleeping well, even with sleeping pills. So I can't think very well. I know I am tired of fighting, and hurting my wife's feelings, even after she walks all over me or degrades me....
I really appreciated your post Mike. It sounds like my house.
I keep wondering when it gets to the point where God steps in and helps? What do I have to go through mentally for Him to help me? Call it a lack of faith, but I have had enough already. I wish I were stronger....and I have given up and called out to God. I've done everything and anything to give up, submit, pray, beg, whine, cry and plead....and the heavens are brass. I've tried to be "still and know", and you name it. Is my frustration showing, because I surely feel it. And I am tired....
And yet I will say even now....God forgive me....please help me....carry me through this, and forgive my lack of faith, my unbelief, and my selfishness...I'm just so tired and worn out. Please pray for me....James
Deborah-Leigh:
Hello Claudia
Thank you for your toast on lemonade....I am still being squeezed for the juice! Cheers!
We are all going through pain....some say and some don't....but all will be revealed!
Peace to you
Arcturus :)
hillsbororiver:
This is definitely a "vicious reality" topic/thread, something we all have experienced to one degree or another.
Before discovering Bible Truths I believed that Revelation was a prophecy of future, literal events and I would blow around like a leaf in the wind when I was reading different authors as they attempted to explain and open up this book. It was pure confusion.
What a blessing when Ray opened up the Words of Revelation by describing it as a prophecy written to every believer in every generation, the trials and tribulations contained in Revelation has been fulfilled literally by some but even more importantly will be fulfilled spiritually by all either in this age or the next.
I have felt like I have been cast in a spiritual prison in the past, even the not so distant past and I will not be surprised if I am once again in that most uncomfortable place. The helpless, boxed in, no where to run feeling where our own mind can become our worst enemy.
Rev 2:10 Fear none of those things which thou shalt suffer: behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried; and ye shall have tribulation ten days; be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.
Here are a few of paragraphs from; http://bible-truths.com/lake3.html
Now I hope that none will be offended at my next few statements, but if so, so be it. Unless God Almighty through the purging power of His FIERY SPIRIT, is BURNING OUT the lusts and passions and vanity and haughtiness and greed and self-righteousness and laziness and weakness and hypocrisy and wickedness and pride and materialism and cynicism and depravity and carnality in your life, then Jesus Christ is not choosing you to reign with Him as the Sons of God in the Kingdom of God to bring all Heaven and Earth to repentance and salvation!
Such damnable character flaws of the mind and spirit are going to be burned out of us all! God will either BURN OUT these filthy impurities from our hearts and minds NOW, or He will BURN THEM OUT IN THE LAKE OF FIRE, but either way, make no mistake about it, THESE THINGS ARE COMING OUT!!!
JOHN THE BAPTIST: John the Baptist said that Jesus would be baptizing repentant believers with fire.
"I indeed baptize you with water unto REPENTANCE: but He that comes after me is mightier than I, Whose shoes I am not worthy to bear: He shall baptize you with the Holy Spirit, AND WITH FIRE" (Matt. 3:11).
JESUS CHRIST:
"For EVERY ONE [sinner and saint] shall be salted with FIRE" (Mark 9:49).
His Peace to you,
Joe
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