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My own private hell
Shmeggly:
Thank you all....
My wife is a believer but very jaded against "christians"....she has looked into Buddhism etc....she is very "open" and questions everything. So she won't be posting here, she is looking for support elsewhere.
I am at the point where I have simply let go. I am focusing on other things, and am ready to just live my life.
take care, and see you all on here somewhere! James
GODSown1:
muchLOVE!! 2 U James,
I Pray our FATHER BlesSes U most abundantly! ma bro, I know it is so Hard brother, But 2 telL u da Truth Im @ home but im not sure if I can call it my home, ilL just leave it 2 GOD coz I certainly cant make much sense of it, Brother I Pray u get great understanding very soon 2 Y all dis is happening, I feel 4 U my bro az I believe my situation is jus abit better :), GODBlesS! James take much care, Peace be with U soonr den later.
muchLOVE!! Pera
Seraphim:
Dear Shmeggly
I too am moved by what you are saying and the upheaval you are going through. I have prayed from my heart that God will give you strength. If this is the end, then it is also a new beginning. Out of chaos stars are created. If you feel totally annihilated, just let go into God and a new inner strength can arise.
I've been through hell and back myself a few times so I can empathize with what I feels like.
And those smug idiots in church? You should be feeling smug at them for they are shallow in their arrogance and you have been deepened lots. And with that greater deepening (that feels like a huge monstrous hole), a greater tornado of Holy Spirit can burst forth and lead you towards whatever 'calling' God has given you.
Be at peace with yourself and thank Jehovah for the blessings that are about to come!
Love Seraphim. :-*
Shmeggly:
Thanks Seraphim...I too am feeling if this is the end, then I have a new beginning. Even though it is still hard, I just have to let go. So either way is fine, and in some ways I want to be on my own just to say goodbye to the garbage....
Anyway, I am trying to let go without getting bitter, or forgetting God. I have to be careful because I know I need to be submitting to Him daily, and not let myself get caught up in seeking out a relationship or anything like that. That is the easy thing to do, but not what I'm supposed to do. I feel that no matter what.
Life can take many twists and turns, and I've had many people outside this forum say they've been at the brink of seperation and divorce, and things turn around. It doesn't appear that way here, but I could if healing takes place....
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