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How to drive in Phoenix
Patrick:
1. You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: "FEE-NICKS."
2. The morning rush hour is from 5 a.m. to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7 p.m. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number.
Anything less is considered "wussy."
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out, and possibly shot.
6. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be given the "one finger salute" accordingly. If you return the salute, you'll be shot.
7. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's another offense that can get you shot.
8. Road construction is permanent and continuous in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.
9. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
10. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the "I-10" are the same road.
11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands and a towel on your seat.
13. Beware of your seatbelt, as during summer months it can cause second or third degree burns.
iris:
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Iris
DuluthGA:
These rules could've easily been refering to Atlanta-area traffic and heat.
Dear Lord and Father,
If for no other reason, please deliver me from this traffic-ridden world a.s.a.p. ;D Amen.
;) Janice
P.S. I realize that getting jammed and going slow does give me extra time to pray and commune with You... for which I thank you... however... it would be better and beneficial if You wind this all up pretty soon... ;) ;)
WE GOT SOME BAD TRAFFIC HERE FOLKS!!! ;D
Sue Creamer:
I commute in the Washington DC area and I couldn't help but feel like the points fit perfectly to what I go through everyday...I find personally that dealing with the "attitudes" associated with morning and evening rush hour are the most trying for me. I believe God is using this aspect of our world to teach me patience, LOVE and forgiveness to those who take, push, shove, disrespect, disregard others and refuse to obey the laws. Guess you can see God has his hands full with me... ;D
Thank you for the post.
Sue
hillsbororiver:
I am with all you guys, the traffic and heat here in Tampa is a combination producing very few positives. It can do wonders for developing patience..... if you don't lose your mind first. >:(
Here is a recent article in regard to this (and Miami's) situation;
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/miami/sfl-716driving,0,5858192.story
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