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[bambam]

If we can make choices, but only according to the millions of circumstances placed on us on a daily basis, and in the end, there is only one choice that we can possibly make, I have a problem.  I keep making the wrong choices.  Not in everything, but in some things.  I am failing at being a good mom, and a good homemaker for my family.  I am not organized and I can be extremely lazy.  I want to change deep down, but I have not been able to do it.  Should I just give it up and be happy?  Because I am at times most miserable, knowing all my faults and flaws and hating them. 

I guess what I am trying to say is, am I just supposed to accept myself how I am at the moment because there is not much I can do about it anyways?  Or, is my thinking totally wrong here?  If God is going to make me a good mom and homekeeper, he will, and I should just stop beating myself over the head about all the things I do wrong, and be happy.  Or am I just sinning by not trying to change?  This has me so confused and feeling horrible.  I want to change, but it's just not happening.  Yet I don't think it would be right for me to quit trying to change, even though I just want to give up so badly! 

If I keep trying, and failing, I will continue to be miserable.  God is in control, so He'll change me when it's time for me to change.  I just want to live life without the guilt and anger of failure.  Should I just let go of some of these things I am trying to change but not doing a very good job at?  I sure hope this makes sense.

[Pax Vobiscum]

The tone of your post is disheartening to say the least.  Anyone who has not at some time felt as you do now is likely living in a parallel universe.

Much of your post, however, seems to be in the whirl of the old "Free Will" argument -- WHICH WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER BE RESOLVED DURING OUR LIFETIMES (with apologies to Ray) -- which crops up from time-to-time.  You can see how quickly one's head can get into a neverending circular argument and all one ends up with is a headache (Those who lean toward free moral agency can be enlightened, chosen, and elect, btw!).

I have said it before and shall say it one more time -- whether we enjoy free will or not, we must live as if we do!

Pray for guidance, act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God and you will find peace.  Keep it simple.  Stick with the birds of the air and the lilies of the field.  Don't let others' expectations blur your vision.  Forget Free Will and work toward Iron Will.

Peace

[YellowStone]

BamBam,

What a wonderful insightful post. Been there done that thought of thing.

The opportunities given in any circumstance have no right or wrong answers and sometimes the truth behind the lesson becomes apparent after the event.

Dear sister, listen to your heart, hear and feel God. You will soon notice a change; obligation will change to need. What I mean is that you will no longer feel obligated to change as in (I must change or else) but rather you will begin to feel the need to do what ever you a putting off. God does not use a standard template, so do not worry about what you are for God has you where you need to be. That you are questioning is great.

Listen to your heart for His Spirit is with you and trust him always okay. You might find that your life is not as bad as you might think.

Sometimes it takes a lot of time and a lot of prayer.

Love in Christ,
Darren

[bambam]

Thank you Pax and Darren.  Very comforting words!  I think I really just need alot of encouragement right now!  I am thinking it IS going to take alot of time and alot of prayer.   Thanks again for your words!

Beth  

[ciy]

Bambam

I understand your dilemna.  I believe everyone that God is drawing to Him is going through the same thing. When the Pharisees questioned Jesus' disciples eating with dirty hands, Jesus corrected them and said why do you worry about the outside of the cup and not the inside?  Think about this.  Meditate on it.

If I, through my own will power, make myself clean up and do good then I will become as a Pharisee and take pride in what I have accomplished.  Only if I continue to focus on God and realize through His word that it is Christ in me and that I will be one of the fruits after the one First Fruit, can I actually realize that it is Christ in me.  Only when that old man in me dies can I get close to becoming the image of Christ.  If I compromise with the old man, I am putting my hand to the plow and looking back.  

It is true patience to wait on the Lord.  Wait on the Lord to reveal it.  We want to rush into the change and we forget that Abraham was 100 years old, Moses was in the wilderness for 40 years before he was in it again for 40 years, Joseph was in prison for approx 17 years, David hid in caves for some 15 or so years, and Paul was in Arabia for 14 or so years before they were dramatically changed and they were still far from perfect.  

I like Ray's talk on being saved is the hardest thing you will ever do.  

Think about a dog on a leash (sp), he can jerk and pull and try to go in his direction but in the end he is going where you want him to go.  Somewhat the same with us.  We pull against God thinking we can go where we want to go, when we end up at the end of all things exactly where God wants us.  Now think that if that little dog's heart changed so that he wants to go whereever you want him to go.  He will end up in the same place as before but he will have much more joy and not be anywhere near as worn out, but he learned over many times to go where his master wanted him to go.

Anyway, this is not advice it is just some of the thoughts I have because I too am in your situation.
CIY

[SixFour]

Bambam,

First let me say: "Be Encouraged!" And that I know too, where you are coming from. I came to the same conclusion of Pax's words:

"I have said it before and shall say it one more time -- whether we enjoy free will or not, we must live as if we do!"

The whole "free will" thing can be confusing at times, but remember we are admonished through out the Gospels to "act!" 'Never to sit still. We must allow God to RENEW our minds so that we may be more like His Son. Even in the dark and confusing times, we must ACT, and that is, leaning and looking to Him. The Bible is full of "verbs!"  Words of 'ACTION!'
God does change us after the working of His good will, but there is 'ACTION' involved as He does it.

Just my two cents...

But again, "Be Encouraged!"

[hillsbororiver]

The tone of your post is disheartening to say the least.  Anyone who has not at some time felt as you do now is likely living in a parallel universe.

Much of your post, however, seems to be in the whirl of the old "Free Will" argument -- WHICH WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER BE RESOLVED DURING OUR LIFETIMES (with apologies to Ray) -- which crops up from time-to-time.  You can see how quickly one's head can get into a neverending circular argument and all one ends up with is a headache (Those who lean toward free moral agency can be enlightened, chosen, and elect, btw!).

I have said it before and shall say it one more time -- whether we enjoy free will or not, we must live as if we do!

Pray for guidance, act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God and you will find peace.  Keep it simple.  Stick with the birds of the air and the lilies of the field.  Don't let others' expectations blur your vision.  Forget Free Will and work toward Iron Will.

Peace

Hi Pax,

Once we throw out the divine wisdom of the scriptures we are left with man made suppositions such as what you present above. It seems to be quite pointless to ask you for chapter and verse for your following statement.

But remember this;

Isa 8:20  To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them.

You state;

"I have said it before and shall say it one more time -- whether we enjoy free will or not, we must live as if we do!"

It doesn't appear we have much say in regard to the bondage of our particular vanities,

Jer 13:23  Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.

Rom 8:20  For the creature was made subject5293 to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
 
Rom 8:21  Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.

G5293
ὑποτάσσω
hupotassō
hoop-ot-as'-so
From G5259 and G5021; to subordinate; reflexively to obey: - be under obedience (obedient), put under, subdue unto, (be, make) subject (to, unto), be (put) in subjection (to, under), submit self unto.

Luk 12:25  And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?
 
Luk 12:26  If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?

While it is true we can willfully sin we are not in control of what our tendencies (toward a particular sin) are or are we capable of freely, by force of will able to change anything about ourselves, this only comes about through chastisement.

The whole purpose of this life in a nutshell is we are here to have our corruptable (yet unfree) will alligned with the will of our Father, like Christ and through Christ's Spirit, not some "iron willed" super man of steel resolve and action.

Joh 5:30  I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.

His Peace to you,

Joe

 

[YellowStone]

Joe, my dear brother and friend, you wrote the following

Luk 12:25  And which of you with taking thought can add to his stature one cubit?
 
Luk 12:26  If ye then be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?

While it is true we can willfully sin we are not in control of what our tendencies (toward a particular sin) are or are we capable of freely, by force of will able to change anything about ourselves, this only comes about through chastisement.

The whole purpose of this life in a nutshell is we are here to have our corruptable (yet unfree) will alligned with the will of our Father, like Christ and through Christ's Spirit, not some "iron willed" super man of steel resolve and action.

Joh 5:30  I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.

These words of yours speak to me so loud and so clear. It is not how hard we can fight to walk straight, but rather to what extent that we can let go and trust him completely to lead us us where we need to go. It is Satan that want's one to doubt God's ability, and just like he told Adam, he constantly goads us with "Don't trust God, you don't need him, do it this way!" Yeah right, why does God instruct us to trust Him? Yet this is something that we cannot achieve on our own. God loves us unconditionally, should not trust Him the same.

Pro 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  

Thanks Joe,

With Love in Christ,
Darren

[bambam]

Dear Joe,

  I guess your comments bring me back to where I was.  I can do nothing on my own.  I cannot change my flaws in and of myself, but how, then, do I (or anyone else for that matter) live my life?  Do I just sit around and wait for God to chastise me, or is the trying to change and failing, and then feeling miserable about it-is that part of the chastisement?  Maybe there is no straightforward easy answer for this, however, I do find myself in a bit of a confusing state.  I feel so guilty about my character flaws, but at the same time, feel helpless to change them.  I also feel bad about thinking, well this is how I am and I just have to accept that, because the guilt increases.

Sitting here now, I realize that even though I am not in control, there are things in the Bible that I can try to strive to be and do.  I guess if I fail, it wasn't time for me to be perfected in that area yet.  Maybe then if I am just trying to do the best I can do, and not being so hard on myself when I mess up, things would get better.

I feel like what Pax was saying was-don't dwell on the whole free-will issue.  I do want to understand it, but it is difficult to grasp.  I felt like he was saying that I should still try to live and be and do the right things, even if I do fail.  

I know that I do not have control.  I know that God is in control, and that is a very comforting thought.  I suppose what is hard to swallow, and what makes me uneasy is the fact that God wants me to keep failing right now-that He wants me to be lazy, and not the best of moms, and a bad homekeeper.  The bad things-and the evil things-are what make God being the author of it all so hard to see.  Maybe it's not as hard to understand  as it is to believe.  

Part of my question was, do I just stop trying at this point?  Give up, stop fighting what I cannot change right now, and live a bit freer, breathe a little easier, be happier?  Or would I even be happier?  The ironic thing is, I don't think I would be.  

Still at a loss.

Beth        

[Firefly]

Hi Beth...

I have to tell you that as I started reading your post I honestly did a double take because I thought I wrote it! I so identify with all that you are saying...the overall confusion of whether you should try to change or not, the guilt, the laziness, the failing as a wife and mother.

I am still struggling so I don't really have any words of wisdom, except that I have good days and bad days...sometimes within the same day! I just wanted you to know that you are not alone and I so empathize with you. Thank you for opening up, for in your honesty you helped me by giving me some peace as I know that I am not alone either. Sometimes things seem so dark I forget I am not the only one who struggles.

Lori 

[SixFour]

Bambam,

I do feel where you are coming from. This is what helped me deal with what you are dealing with. I had begun to focus on my shortcomings, then this happened:

 Romans 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who WALK not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

This freed me, coupled with:

Phil 1:6 "He that has begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Christ."

I don't think it's God's will that you fail at anything to the point of just failing, but that He works in you His good pleasure through your failures and shortcomings to the point that you begin to overcome them. This is what He is doing through me. When I get frustrated at myself(which is quite often), I fall back on these truths. I think Darren's quote of Prov 3:5 is timely too:

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. "

I understand this to be a dark time for you. Too, I realize so much that we are among a great cloud of witnesses on this forum, and that people are praying for you as much are as replying to your posts. Please, my sister, hang in there. You are not alone.


Your Brother,

James

[Kat]

Hi Beth,

I think this email of seems to speak to what you are going through right now.

http://www.forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3705.0.html -----------

Dear Bill:
I can appreciate you situation and the emotions you are going through. I receive a lot of emails in which people tell me how hopeless they feel because of sins, weaknesses, lusts, attitudes, finances, marital problems, horrible diseases, and the like. Many ask me to please not share their email with others because they are too embarrassed to have anyone but me read them. I try to give special attention to such emails, and I know how much it is possible to hurt when everything is going bad and wrong.
 
Unfortunately, I cannot solve any of their problems, nor yours. I can give a little advice, reassurance, and offer up prayer, but it is ultimately God and God only who is your Saviour. You seem to be wondering when God will begin to drag you to Christ, without realizing that everything you go through is part of the journey to that end.  We usually don't see it until sometimes years after it has happened. I have told many that they will not begin to come out of their sins until they begin to really HATE THEM.  Oh, I know, "everybody hates their sins."  No, not really. When you begin to hate your sins like poisonous snakes you WILL STAY AWAY FROM THEM. God is able. God will also wait until you yourself are thoroughly convinced that you are powerless to conquer your sins. When you do finally begin to have major victories over your carnal mind and the lusts of your flesh, you will KNOW that it was God and not you. It always gets darker just before the dawn, so don't lose faith.

God be with you,

Ray

[Ward]

BamBam:

May I share my thoughts with you?  I will try to help without being too verbose first.  If you want more please ask.

If we can make choices, but only according to the millions of circumstances placed on us on a daily basis, and in the end, there is only one choice that we can possibly make, I have a problem.  I keep making the wrong choices.  ...  I want to change deep down, but I have not been able to do it.  Should I just give it up and be happy?  Because I am at times most miserable, knowing all my faults and flaws and hating them.

Yes, all you can do is make choices.  Those choices are not random and you actually cannot make any other choices.

Your "I want to change deep down inside." is a very good sign.

Your "I keep making the wrong choices." acknowledgement is a very good sign.

Your "I am at times most miserable, knowing all my faults and flaws and hating them." is a also great.

I guess what I am trying to say is, am I just supposed to accept myself how I am at the moment because there is not much I can do about it anyways?

No... You should make every effort you can to change these problems that you perceive. 

Yet I don't think it would be right for me to quit trying to change, even though I just want to give up so badly!

You are correct about not quitting.  You have to try.  Even if you slack off right now.  You will end up trying again.  When you get to the true end of your trying is when you will stop.  You won't be asking for anybody's opinion about it.  You will stop because you can't go on.  And that's when the change will start.

If I keep trying, and failing, I will continue to be miserable.

Absolutely right...  And you will fail.

God is in control, so He'll change me when it's time for me to change.

You have been given great insight if you truly believe this statement.  It is absolutely true.

Should I just let go of some of these things I am trying to change but not doing a very good job at?

Unfortunately, you are not able to.

I sure hope this makes sense.

It makes perfect sense to me.

BamBam - What you are going thru is chastisement. It is God working on your Heart.  The "Biblical" heart.  Where your desires come from.  Our desires of the heart are what is wrong, evil, bad, etc. about with us.

God is not teaching any of us to control our desires.  He is changing our desires thru His work.

All of what is wrong, evil, bad, sinful, etc with us comes from the desires of our hearts.  And cleaning them up... Well, that is a very difficult thing to do.  The truth is... Only God is able to do this work.  The analogy that He uses in the Scriptures is of a silversmith.  God is burning out the contaminants in you.  When they are gone, like the silversmith, He (and everyone else) will see His face reflected in you. You are feeling God's work.  His work will take your entire life.

To quote you... "I sure hope this makes sense."  If not, don't give up. Keep asking.  But don't just ask us.  Ask God in true prayer.

\/\/ard

[Pax Vobiscum]

Wow, Joe, you fired one across my bow! 

Where in the world did you get the idea that I advocate that we "...[t]hrow out the divine wisdom of the Scriptures"??  I have re-read my post and don't see it.  Never said it; don't imply it.  I am sorry that you read it that way.

I strive to post thoughtful and reasonable (albeit unorthodox) perspectives from time-to-time.  Granted, I usually keep to the theological, but BamBam's post moved me.  Further, I write with the assumption that readers here are familiar enough that they can infer Biblical references without going "quostal" and taking valuable time and space with cut-and-paste passages.

At any rate, I believe that my advice is spot-on:

Jesus' words about the lilies of the field and birds of the air clearly tells us to chill out and not to worry about what we do not have; rather realize all that God has given us without asking.

Do you think a child ruminates on Free Moral agency?  Jesus wants us to be childlike in our reliance on Him and his gifts.

We cannot change the weather, much like the leopard cannot change his spots -- so why not focus on the simple, direct commandments of Jesus?  I cannot add a cubit (remember the old Bill Cosby routine?) to my stature by just thinking about it, so let go of it!  Love the Lord with all and all and all!

For you to say that  "...The whole purpose of this life in a nutshell is we are here to have our corruptable (yet unfree) will alligned with the will of our Father, like Christ and through Christ's Spirit, not some "iron willed" super man of steel resolve and action."  Really?  Jesus' words resound with ease and love of neighbor and child-like reverence for the divine.  And although my use of "Iron Will" was more a literary device than a theological one, let's turn to the beautiful passage in Ephesians where we are prepared for our earthly battles in very militaristic terms.

Finally, to think that the "Free Will" debate will ever end is folly.  If anyone thinks it is a settled matter, I am forced to conclude that that person either doesn't understand the issues or that that person fails to explore all of the possibilites.  There are honest, prayerful, and Scriptural arguments from both perspectives.  Therefore, an honest, prayerful and Scriptural response is to not worry so much with this and live your life according to your beliefs -- not your struggles.

I am very disappointed by your reply to my post which was meant as an encouragement to a faltering sister.  I think any further discussions along these lines should be held privately.

Peace

[hillsbororiver]

Wow, Joe, you fired one across my bow! 

Where in the world did you get the idea that I advocate that we "...[t]hrow out the divine wisdom of the Scriptures"??  I have re-read my post and don't see it.  Never said it; don't imply it.  I am sorry that you read it that way.

Hello Pax,

You are correct I did not read it in this thread, I read it here;

     There are many, many errors, additions, and corruptions in the Bible – from differing genealogies to the bogus final verses of the Second Gospel to the chronology of Holy Week.  The Bible is not a cookbook or a technical manual – it is a glorious (as opposed to glorified) anthology of sacred writings to be used as a guide through our Earthly experience hitched to the promise of something greater after death.

Although it is indisputable the bible has man made (errors) influences within it, some translations more than others, the scriptures do not contain contradictions in regard to the Truths of God. That is what we are to earnestly strive for, understanding Him through diligent search of His Word.

Observing nature and creation is another way He communicates with us but if the message we obtain from these observations is diametrically opposed to His written Word we should have our radar screens blipping off the charts.

My response to you was not intended as a personal attack I am quite sure you are very aware of that but remember the name of this Forum is Bible Truths and as a moderator it is my duty to protect the integrity of this Forum to the best of my ability, not only against blatant disagreements but also from posts or statements that may be very confusing to some guests and members.

It is a noble thing to comfort the brethren with empathetic compassion, it is a godly thing to do.

We also have His Word to comfort us in our afflictions;

Heb 10:32  But call to remembrance the former days, in which, after ye were illuminated, ye endured a great fight of afflictions;

Heb 10:33  Partly, whilst ye were made a gazingstock both by reproaches and afflictions; and partly, whilst ye became companions of them that were so used.

Heb 12:8  But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye ********, and not sons.

Last but not least...

1Pe 4:12  Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:

His Peace to you,

Joe 
 

[ciy]

Good post Ward. 

CIY

[UncleBeau]

hey Beth,

Most times, I like to speak plainly; although the scriptures are where we find truth, sometimes people want to hear an answer to something after the same manner as their question. With most of your questions, are you not asking the same question? It really just sounds to me like you're looking for the next step. I agree with Ray though, you won't quit certain things until even entertaining the thought makes you sick to your stomach; and this will only happen when you stay in the Word and God puts it in you to utterly hate your carnal mind or whatever you do because of it. The more and more God brings you into the Truth, the more and more you will HATE the lie (the lie in this sense is our carnal mind's false justification for sin). I used to take drugs when I was a teenager. I loved doing it; even when it made me "feel bad" for doing it, I still "felt good" when I did. But God showed me through a slow process what it does to people and how it makes them act, think, etc... I saw the "truth" of that sin and of that desire. I've heard tons of people quote the phrase "let go and let God", but the truth of the matter is God WILL have his way. I pray for your quick understanding in what He's doing in your life.

your friend,

-Beau

[aktikt]

I just wanted to add.  This is a great forum.  Many of you are acting like the good samaritan in the parable.  It really touched my heart to hear how everyone was trying to comfort Beth. 

In thinking about how words have this power to comfort, I thought of this,

Ecc 12 The words of the wise [are] as goads, and as nails fastened [by] the masters of assemblies, [which] are given from one shepherd.

[skydreamers]

Beth and Lori....I think I'm in the same club as you!  I struggle with many similar things as you two, being a homemaker and mother of two small children.  I am blessed to have a wonderful husband...a dream come true...but sometimes it almost makes me feel worse because he seems to be better at everything...like cooking, being organized, having energy, being creative.....etc etc etc.  He'd have this household in tip top running shape if we was the one staying at home.  I am a dreamer, with my head in the clouds most of the time (hence my handle...skydreamers).  Prone to meloncholy, swinging moods and all that.  And then there are a host of sins which I won't at this time embarrass myself by listing....yes it does seem an endless, fruitless battle some days...

Just today I re-listened to Ray's audio talk on Repentance because part of it he shares some of his testimony and I find it comforting and hopeful for the rest of us who are still struggling so....


http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,3709.0.html

Boy, I was so thankful for one thing though:  GRACE.  Boy was I glad that this bible talked about Grace because there was nobody who needed grace more than me!  And I thought that I sort of understood it.  I was pretty convinced that there are no spiritually converted people because number one, I made a “jolly good” try at it.  I made a good stab at it.  I gave it the good college try.  And I wasn’t converted.  And you know what, I didn’t know of anybody else who was converted either.  I didn’t know of one human being on this earth that I could say, “that person is spiritually converted”.  I didn’t know of any, and I knew I wasn’t, so I thought it didn’t exist.  I thought true spiritual conversion did not even exist.  And that what Grace did:  you did the best you could, and where you didn’t do very good, it just filled in the gaps.  And that was about as spiritual as my mind would go for a long time.

But God was working with me.  I didn’t know it.  I just thought I’m drifting through life.  But God was working with me, for me, sometimes against me (which was also for me).  I finally did come to the place where I started looking at this whole thing afresh, that this is God doing it, and I’m thinking about this repentance business again.  What good does it do to repent, if you can’t stop doing the things you repented of?  I mean, that’s just hypocrisy isn’t it?  You repent of all these sins and you keep doing them.  So… but I felt a guilt, there was a guilt in doing this or that, thinking this and thinking that, and the guilt would start to drive me away from it.  I couldn’t handle the guilt.  I just didn’t want to be guilty about this stuff so I would stop doing it.  Because I just wanted to get away from the guilty mind.  And so some things went by the wayside that way; that was the way it worked.  You know, just out of sheer guilt I didn’t want to do them anymore.  And I didn’t do them anymore, I quit this and that and so on…  and I guess God was turning me towards Him.  I was not learning anything new; there were no new revelations.  Just something was happening in my life.

And then, I started to take an interest in the scriptures again.  And I don’t know that my understanding was all that much better, but I was trying.  I was reading and trying.  And I can’t even remember when I started to see things.  (Where did that come from?)  And I kept wanting to change.  I just felt that, that was necessary:  change.  You know, be more like God wants me to be.  And I wanted to understand the scriptures and I clearly didn’t.  I mean, I had a superficial understanding of them.  I even knew about the reconciliation of ALL.  I had come to understand that we don’t have a free will.  I was that far along…but I was still not really changing my life.

But then God started to make me feel convicted about my sins that I still had.  But I was convinced you couldn’t overcome them!  You know, when you are in your 50’s and still not able to conquer these sins…when?   How?  Will it ever happen?  I was pretty convinced it wouldn’t happen.  But I’m thinking about these things more and I’m studying.  And then I started finding that some things I was doing I didn’t need to do anymore.  And it isn’t anything I did.  God just took something away from me.  Took away a burden, a sin, a guilty conscience about something.  Just took it away and it was no longer a struggle.  But I never stopped wanting to get rid of it ALL.  That was always there.  Get rid of it all.  (You all want to know what those things were….it doesn’t matter, they’re all the same!)  You know, lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes, pride of life….

You can’t take credit for it; in His time He will do it.  If you are going to be one of the few that are actually chosen, then God is going to do it.  So why am I up here telling you if He’s going to do it, just go home and let Him do it!  Right?   Because God uses the “foolishness of teaching”, that’s why.  That’s the only reason I’m up here.  He uses the foolishness of preaching.  Some of you will remember this day.  It will be a turning point in your life!  You’ll say, “that Saturday afternoon Ray was preaching about Repentance, it changed my life forever!”   That is, if God has decided that is what today will do for you…

So I was wanting to repent of everything.  EVERYTHING.  I didn’t want to hold on to anything!  Give it all up.  And in my heart and mind, I was able to do it.  And I didn’t have to struggle!  I mean, I struggled all my life against these sins and now I didn’t have to struggle anymore.  The temptations would come up, but I would just put a stop on it.  That was it; God put me in control.  And I didn’t have to fight it night and day.  It just started to take care of itself.  Because there was a power working in my mind that I didn’t have before.  It was now God’s time to do that.

 


Hope this helps you guys too,

Peace,
Diana

[bambam]

Diana,
  Thanks for that.  I have to say that I am with you on the whole head in the clouds thing.  I am totally a dreamer.  It's hard to live in the real world sometimes.  I am just waiting and hoping for the day when God has purposed for me to change.  It's obviously not at this very moment, but maybe He is already working on it! 

Thanks for all the encouragement from everyone else as well!  One day at a time is what I have to do-and I will keep doing. 

Blessings!
Beth