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My Story
cjwood:
--- Quote from: DuluthGA on July 18, 2007, 05:08:19 AM ---May God bless you dear woman, Claudia, and it is apparent He has already been blessing you, and for quite some time wink wink in His odd and strange ways. I am solemn in reading your story, yet your remarks reveal, over a long long history of a marriage that is not in sync (to say the least) that there is no real anger nor too much bitterness nor rage on your part... God has blessed you dear woman!! You are more than half way to victory! In Him, Christ our Savior!
My oh my but you've been through so much in your life, and you are probably about my age, early/mid 50s. So you've been studying Ray (the best thing since sliced bread :)) and need prayers. You got it sister! Day by day! I too have learned much from the Scriptures through Ray, and it all checks out, and I HANG ON TO THESE TRUTHS!!! Hang on to these simple, basic teachings sister!! You will do good, no doubt. No worries on this aspect, and you seem to KNOW, which is good!! A good time to focus on the basics of God's Word. What else do we have? Foo foo?? ;D
I concur. I am thankful I was led to BT a year and a half ago. It means a lot! I also agree there are "ABSOLUTELY AMAZING TRUTHS IN GOD'S SCRIPTURES" and that Ray has been spiritually led to reveal them. It's hard to beat the best.
I am, however, questioning your take on sleep stages. Dream-sleep with the R.E.M. stage is the best for a good night's rest. You must get good sleep girl, or throw it all in the basket. You must get good dream sleep! Ho! Somehow!
How dreadful it must've felt to have "FEAR HAVE YOU BY THE NECK".... losing the financial floor from underneath you, actually undulating with the circumstances so as not to lose it... no matter what. Righto dear Claudia that Christ was meeting your needs along the way. You finally got honest with the situation, the total lack of happiness, lack of marital fulfillment, confronting the affair... yes! I think this was God's plan to bring you out of your wilderness.
I especially admire you for thirteen years of being a single mother even before all that!! Double WOW! You've been given a strong and solid backbone to bear all this for quite some time. Is this not another presence of Him interwoven in your life? Leading you, pursuing you? Following you? God bless your daughter, how old is she now?
Righto, only God can draw a person. You read and study well... KEEP IT UP... MORE TREASURES AWAIT YOU!!! Among them, God WILL take care of your needs, just as He always has and always did. I don't know your work situation now, you mentioned not working for five years.
I pray God you continue to think lightly on your feet, make somewhat light of this dismal tragedy and move on. You've got the potential to do this and not wallow in it. Make a move, dear sister, make a move. Let His spirit lead you. You are still young and have quite a productive future ahead!! GOODIE!! ;D
Hint: NOTHING (GOOD) IS EVER EASY. :)
Much joy always in Christ, Janice
--- End quote ---
thank you bunches and bunches for the wonderful words of kindness and support. i knew in my heart i would feel the burden of this time lifting more and more once i posted it on forums. it just took me a little while to get the courage to expose it in black and white because i knew it would make it that much more real. but, courage came with a loving push by the loving comforting Spirit of God. with regards to the sleep disorder stuff, i had the sleep study done and they seemed to be concerned that of all the stages of sleep, i got stuck in the stage where you start to dream, but never would go on into the deeper stage of dreaming. they said i never got into the restorative stage of sleep. but that has all changed nowadays. i fall right to sleep and stay asleep (well that is until that gotta get up and pee moment comes, like clock work but then right back to sound sleep). God knows how much i needed to get there with my sleep pattern so i could start getting stronger each day. however, sometimes it seems it is such a battle to remember that life is always better once you get up and get moving. i started packing away my husbands books and pictures and nick nacks and came across an antique bottle i had been keeping the dried rose petals in from my little wedding bouquet and i took the lid off and let them slide into the trash bin. that was hard. they've been in that bottle for 15 yrs. but i had to remind myself "first the physical, then the spiritual". but each day God is showing me that because of the weak spiritual condition of my marriage, that this is His will for me. if i give in to the physical and try to back out of the divorce, i will forfeit my spiritual path to Him and i will never ever ever ever do that again. he is my Abba Father and that is that.
thank you (and everyone else who has responded to my post) for girding me with strength and love.
claudia
DuluthGA:
My entire countenance is filled with absolute GLEE in hearing all your news CLAUDIA!!!
PRAISE GOD!! I PRAISE AND GIVE HIM GLORY!!
I want to get this happy message to you, and will send this now as I have had computer problems tonight and do not wish to be sabotaged to let you know "I hear ya girl!! BIG TIME!! WOOHOO!!
More very soon, I've gotta get this out quick...
Thanks and love, Janice
DuluthGA:
Hi again Claudia,
I’m so very happy to hear from you! I’m especially glad you are sleeping well now, how wonderful! I now understand what you meant about your sleep study. And you are getting stronger physically and spiritually every day!! Praise God for His spirit-led change in about a WEEK! You are favored, dear sister, that He is showing you the way! You truly ARE moving in life and spirit!!
I often acknowledge my Lord’s “loving pushes” too, often to where I do not want to go. But pushed I am nevertheless. ABBA KNOWS BEST!! Ha ha! It is miraculous how He works all around and through us. I liked your line “first the physical then the spiritual,” Ho! Righty-o! You are strong, smart, and brave. I give you a HUG!!
Never think that you are alone in your sufferings. Each of us has our own. But it is my prayer for you that you reach more stable and healthful 'ground' to grow even more.
I celebrate you on your new path! My prayers for your successful journey will not stop. Just keep doing the ENERGIZER BUNNY THING girl… and rest your head on our Savior's shoulder…
Yours in His peace,
Janice
cjwood:
--- Quote from: DuluthGA on July 22, 2007, 07:04:18 PM ---Hi again Claudia,
I’m so very happy to hear from you! I’m especially glad you are sleeping well now, how wonderful! I now understand what you meant about your sleep study. And you are getting stronger physically and spiritually every day!! Praise God for His spirit-led change in about a WEEK! You are favored, dear sister, that He is showing you the way! You truly ARE moving in life and spirit!!
I often acknowledge my Lord’s “loving pushes” too, often to where I do not want to go. But pushed I am nevertheless. ABBA KNOWS BEST!! Ha ha! It is miraculous how He works all around and through us. I liked your line “first the physical then the spiritual,” Ho! Righty-o! You are strong, smart, and brave. I give you a HUG!!
Never think that you are alone in your sufferings. Each of us has our own. But it is my prayer for you that you reach more stable and healthful 'ground' to grow even more.
I celebrate you on your new path! My prayers for your successful journey will not stop. Just keep doing the ENERGIZER BUNNY THING girl… and rest your head on our Savior's shoulder…
Yours in His peace,
Janice
--- End quote ---
thank you janice for your words of His wisdom. yesterday was my daughter's birthday, she turned 28. oh my, how did she grow up so fast. she will be getting married this coming new year's eve in san miguel, mexico. but you know what, she called me the other night to tell me goodnight (she still does that almost every night) and she said that she was thinking about me being at home by myself and she wanted to be 4 yrs old again and be with me at home. i was so blessed to have a child that loves me that much, but, i told her that i wasn't alone because God was with me and He and i were getting closer and closer, and i told her that if she was 4 again she and i would have to go through all the heartache again that we both went through during those early years when i was a single momma. but i told her she blessed my heart so much by calling me and thinking about me, especially when she has so many other things going on in her life. i am sure God caused her to even pick up the phone to call me, and He once again showed me how very special my girl is to me and to Him. everytime i think about the fact that i was pregnant 5 times in my life and she was the only one He brought forth, i am reminded of how very special she is to Him and of course to me and my family and to her fiancee. i named her jessica without even knowing that her name means "the rich one". rich in love with such a tender heart. when i looked up the meaning of my name (claudia) it shows the meaning of my name as "the lame one", but i found in another baby name book that my name also translates as "gracious". so i will carrry my name with no shame as the lame, gracious one. God knows my true name is "His child". thank you for your kind words janice, and your prayers. my husband will be coming back from africa on 8/6 and he will be coming to our home because we still live in the same house, just in seperate rooms now. he will spend some of his days back home visiting his parents out of town. we are still working on the living arrangements because he works overseas for 28 days then home for 28 days. the divorce is a sure thing, but we both have agreed to pay off some debts first so that we don't have them when we (i) actually file for the divorce. hopefully that will be done by december this year. ironic how my daughter will be starting her marriage as i will be filing for the end of mine, but, God knows what He is doing. i am so glad because most days i have no clue...i will keep the vision of the energizer bunny in my mind. i feel for the most part that i am getting healthier, but, i do in fact have a good amount of nerve damage and chronic pain, and i do have to use prescription meds regularly, but, i thank God for making available a way for me to get through each day, and i know use less pain meds than i have had to in the past 5 yrs. i just remind myself that He is my greatest Physician. my pain management doc is a christian, and he even prayed with me in his office at the end of one of my dr appts one day after i told him about my husband. of course my christian doc is still wondering around in babylon but i thank God for him. i have never ever in my life had a doc ask me if i would mind if he prayed with me during a doc visit. i was blown away and cried all the way home thanking God for my docs kindness of heart.
okay, i better go for now. again, thank you so very much for thinking of me and lifting me up in prayer.
your sister in Him
claudia
Shmeggly:
claudia....wow.
You've had a tough go during your life. And still in the midst of it. I just want to say Hi to you, and to encourage you to continue seeing what God wants for your life. So many days it seems hopeless, until we consider Him.
I pray God makes a way for you and your family, where there seems to be no way. I have seen miracles in people's marriages, but I am not God.
You seem pretty strong for having gone through some very difficult things, and I commend you for that. I just would want the best for you; for what God wants in your life. I am kind of going through something similar, and it all has to do with changing our hearts, minds, attitudes, to line up with Him.
Anyway....take care and I pray for peace for your family....James
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