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My wife wants to find a church

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keys2heaven:
Please pray for my family and I. We stopped attending our former church back in April of this year. It is a major denominational church. I've posted about this before on the board, so no need to rehash. Well, my wife feels that we must attend a church. She asked me where I wanted to go in the car yesterday. Honestly, I don't want to attend a church. I mean I already feel uncomfortable now listening to some of what is being taught knowing full well that the person speaking is DEAD wrong. Telling people that they will go to hell for their sins and that we MUST tithe 10% of our incomes according to Malachi 3:10. I used to believe all of this.

What can I say to my wife that might help me get the point across. She's old school and firmly believes that if you are a Christian that you must be in a church. I can tell you that I will not become a member of another church for as long as I live.

I guess one of my stupid fears is going to a church for awhile, then  having folks start asking us questions. What do you think would happen if I told them I didn't believe in tithing or that the Christian hell is a hoax? I'm sure someone would scream that there is a wolf amongst the flock trying to divide them. I sure don't need that on my conscious.

Maybe I'm already anxious about the usher who looks at us with contempt as we pass the plate along. Mind you I have no objection with giving, but I really despise the practice of giving money in a public forum. You can't change how people think and I have known a few in those positions (ushers) who DO think the way I described. Human nature.

I don't believe that you have to attend a church. I truly think that this is more about having a social life and friends than hearing God. My wife has commented many times since we stopped attending our former that not one person has called us. Honestly, I didn't expect them to. I thought it was quite obvious that as long as you towed the line and did and said all the right things, then you were accepted. However, if you made comments that were construed as being objectionable, then you got the cold shoulder. That is what happened when I tried to discuss the issue of tithing (or Christian giving) with some "friends". Never heard another word from them. Does it hurt, yes. I wish it weren't so.

Anyway, through my ramblings, I hope you can see where I am coming from. I want to honor God and live a life that I can be proud of. I don't want to upset my wife. If she is insistent on going, should I go or not?

Thanks,

Mike

ez2u:
Hi Mike yes i wil pray for you and your wife this morning.  God Bless your family and may the Lord give strenght and understanding to your whole family.

SixFour:
Hello Mike,

'Tis a difficult thing you have ahead of you. I have a good friend who recently went through the same thing with his wife. She was 'old school' too, and felt that they needed to go to church somewhere. He was determined, like you, to not join another church. He didn't join one, but he did visit a few times with his wife. After some time passed, she begin to see where he was coming from. This may not be the same choice for you, but I wanted to share what recently happened in his life. I trust that our Father will show you what you must do.

James

Dean Peterman:
Dear MIke,

Your wife probably has a need for social interaction with other people.  Perhaps if you look hard enough you might be able to find a church that is acceptable although not perfect.  Your refusal to go to church might cause misunderstandings with you and your wife.  Perhaps you could continue teaching her why hell does not exist.  She may know already but continue to deepen her understanding on this.  She may have to go to church to learn this lesson totally.  When people start to get upset that she does not believe in hell she will see why going to church doesn't work for you.  She hasn't seen this yet.  It may be a lesson you have to let her learn before the two of you come to a mutual understanding on this.  She may have to go back to church so she can learn this lesson.  If she truly rejects the doctrine of hell she will not be able to tolerate sitting in church and listening to this kind of false teaching.  Sometimes giving people what they want is the best way to help them to see that what they want is not the best thing for them. 

Sincerely,

Dean

iris:
Prayers going up for you and your wife.


Iris

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