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Author Topic: just need some input on tragedies  (Read 4291 times)

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hart4god

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just need some input on tragedies
« on: September 26, 2007, 11:48:31 AM »

Hi,
I will try to make this as short as possible:

2 years ago my cousin's 2 yr old son, Andrew, died by drowning in a neighbor's pool. The neighbors were not home, but their front door was unlocked and he went in, just in the time it took for his parents to dash into their own home, leaving him in a fenced back yard, to get his play table. He somehow opened the gate which he had never been able to do. 15 months after his death both parents were charged with negligent homicide, convicted (I cannot recount all the injustices of this situation- but please trust me- they were not guilty as charge and accepted a plea from the DA rather than risk prison and being away from their 5 year old daughter) This situation is beyond unjust and unfair. Yet, they are trying to put their lives back together. Both are employed and now the parents of a 6 month old boy. A real blessing and a very healing thing in their lives. The mother just found out she is pregnant again and ecstatic!

On Monday they found their 6 month old son dead in his crib after a nap. no cause of death yet.

Their daughter was immediately taken from them and placed in foster care. Many relatives are trying to get temporary custody of the child but there is always some "excuse" why she cannot be placed with a family member.

I cannot comprehend the unspeakable tragedy and injustice these dear people are enduring.

What can be said in such a situation when they do believe that everything does happen for a purpose and that God has a plan.....but the plan is killing their children and they are in utter despair. Now the mom is afraid to give birth to this next baby.

Please give us any input/insight on this situation.
thanks for all your wisdom and insight
judie h.
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Kat

  • Guest
Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2007, 04:14:58 PM »


Hi Judie,

My heart aches for your family in this situation.  All I can say is I will pray for your family.

mercy, peace and love
Kat
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insanezenmistress

  • Guest
Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2007, 05:56:12 PM »

this may be no consilation, but, i know a familly who lost a child, who snuck out to sleep in a hot car.....they where also treated with much injustice. But they know a Pastor who one morning as he was leaving for work, the wife comes running out with his lunch and before she reached him their house blew up form a gas leak, they had 7 kids sleeping inside.

I am not makeing a point at all about other people having it worse, i am not trying to make things better or worse. It is fureating that not only do terrible things happen, but humans have to add to the injury.


I do know that both my friend and her pastor have made peace with God, having healed as best as people can from the pain. ANd anyone who ever lost someone can attest the pain of it never goes away, but one may learn acceptance of what is, and cherish what was.

And i Pray that They will mourn and heal well, and make the best of what is, and cherish each good memory. ANd that the Lord have mercy on them  for the further injusties humans want to give them.
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sonofone

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2007, 06:27:24 PM »

I too pray for them and believe that even in the worst of times the peace of God that passeth all understanding can be found.
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LittleBear

  • Guest
Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #4 on: September 27, 2007, 12:52:39 PM »

I'm so sorry Judie. :'(

Love,

Ursula
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hillsbororiver

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #5 on: September 27, 2007, 01:08:09 PM »

Hi Judy,

I can only say this is certainly an incredible trial they are experiencing, some day it will all make sense.

His Peace and Wisdom to you,

Joe
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iris

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #6 on: September 27, 2007, 04:35:44 PM »

Hi Judie,

I'm sorry to hear about all your cousin is going through.

You and your family will be in my prayers.


Peace and Love
Iris
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hart4god

  • Guest
Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #7 on: September 27, 2007, 07:42:46 PM »

Thank you all for your compassion.

I am so on guard about "blame the victim". Everyone I talk to (not too many) always seems to think that there must have been something the parents did wrong to have such a thing (the first drowning) happen. I suppose that is because they want to believe that nothing as senseless and heartbreaking can ever happen to them.

One of the things I was pondering was- this world- it is full of sorrow and tears and it so makes you long for the age to come which will have every tear wiped away. I know this life was not designed to be perfect. It makes me so long for the Kingdom.....even more so than any threat of hell ever did. I long for a place without such senseless injustice and helplessness and sorrow.

This trial is so hard to understand. Maybe that is the point. Please pray with me that these dear folks...especially the grandmother, can continue to believe that everything does have a reason and purpose even if we cannot know it in this life.

and thank you all for reaching out to my troubled heart.....it has brought me comfort and in turn I am strengthened to comfort them.

love.
judie h.
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pilgrim

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #8 on: September 28, 2007, 08:07:34 AM »

Who is the Creator?

Who created the parents?

Who created the child? God or the parents?

If the Creator had never created the parents there would never had been a child.

Thank God for the time the parents had their lives and that God allowed them to have the child as long as He did.

The child did not belong to the parents...the child belonged to God.

Sounds heartless doesn't it???

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LittleBear

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #9 on: September 28, 2007, 12:13:48 PM »

Judie, you said

One of the things I was pondering was- this world- it is full of sorrow and tears and it so makes you long for the age to come which will have every tear wiped away. I know this life was not designed to be perfect. It makes me so long for the Kingdom.....even more so than any threat of hell ever did. I long for a place without such senseless injustice and helplessness and sorrow.

I'm right there with you. It can get so wearying in this world especially when you see these horrible injustices being done. Some days I have to just concentrate on God and trust Him that He has the control even though it doesn't seem like it, or even though I feel like things are out of control. It's the faith without the feelings that gets me through sometimes. I need to trust Him and believe in Him even if I feel dead inside, or if I am totally outraged about the world. If I didn't have that hope that indeed, He is good, and He will take care of things, then I think I would sink into unimaginably great despair.

I still have no words to say about your cousin. It is horrible. I will pray.

Pilgrim,

That does sound heartless, but I'm sure you didn't mean it to be so. God is our comforter and a very present help in time of trouble, especially in a time of grieving for a loved one.

Love,

Ursula
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hart4god

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #10 on: September 28, 2007, 06:01:36 PM »

Pilgrim,

that did not sound heartless at all to me. maybe because it is the truth.
and we should be thankful through our tears for what we have- small or big.

I am grateful for what you shared.

judie h.

and Ursula- I had the same thought today about how much I need to trust God and how much I really don't. :(
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #11 on: September 28, 2007, 06:34:25 PM »

judie h

We are living in times of great apostasy and lawlessness.

Our justice systems have lost control direction and focus and are lead by lies, fabrications, wealth and deception. This is how God has planned it just as it was in the days of Noah. We are assured that the spiritual condition in our societies is going to deteriorate to a point of great dismay before Christ returns.
These levels of evil we are seeing and experiencing are incomprehensible to innocent hearts just as it may have been to Able perhaps as he breathed his last breath looking at his own brother who was his murderer.

Some of us are called to bear witness by direct experience of this inordinate evil that is manifesting throughout our societies. Others have no clue as to what is going on and live in glib sensuality believing that they are alright. We are called to find refuge in Christ from the evil that we are being given knowledge and experience of and His promise that all will be revealed and all will be straightened out in the end with every tear shed and not lost or in vain is a reality.

You say that : God has a plan.....but the plan is killing their children  

I know that this is the most logical and easy conclusion to make in such illogical and difficult circumstances and I believe that the infants that died have been released to be raised to live again in a better world and have been relieved of the burden of this one as I comprehend this tragedy of loss and grieving.

As for the baby that is coming into this world, what better parents to have than ones who have already two children to be escorted into the Kingdom of Christ. My own son too has a sibling brother who died before he was born and of course he never met and who also has been blessed and will be raised again in the return of Jesus. We believe this and teach this and it has been a great blessing for us all.

Peace and strength to you

Arcturus :)
« Last Edit: September 28, 2007, 06:40:51 PM by Arcturus »
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DuluthGA

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #12 on: September 29, 2007, 12:17:24 AM »

I am so sorry Judie for all the very tragic circumstances you relayed as well as what appears to be complete incompetence of the Family and Children Services. 

Quite actually, I am deeply saddened and somewhat speechless, as you say.

Please know I will keep them and you in my prayers.  In consolation I offer:

1Cor 12: 6   And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.

2Cor 5: 18   And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;

Deut 32: 4   He is the Rock, his work is perfect: for all his ways are judgment: a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he.

Isaiah 42: 16   And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, and crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them, AND NOT FORSAKE THEM.

Eccl 3: 11   He hath made every thing beautiful in his time: also he hath set the world in their heart, so that no man can find out the work that God maketh from the beginning to the end.

1Sam 2: 6   Jehovah putteth to death, and keepeth alive, He bringeth down to Sheol, and bringeth up. [YLT]

Same verse, different translation:  The Lord kills and he gives life, he sends down to Sheol, he can bring the dead up again. [NEB]

2Sam 14: 14   For we will surely die and become like water spilled on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again. Yet God does not take away a life; but He devises means, so that His banished ones are not expelled from Him. [NKJV]

Psalm 18: 30   As for God, His way is perfect; the word of Jehovah is purified; He is a shield to all who seek refuge in Him.

Hosea 6: 1   Come, and let us return to the Lord; For He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up.

Isaiah 41: 10   Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. [NKJV]

May you be comforted by His grace.

With Christian love,
Janice

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LittleBear

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #13 on: September 29, 2007, 01:51:40 PM »

Wonderful and comforting verses Janice,


Some of us are called to bear witness by direct experience of this inordinate evil that is manifesting throughout our societies. Others have no clue as to what is going on and live in glib sensuality believing that they are alright. We are called to find refuge in Christ from the evil that we are being given knowledge and experience of and His promise that all will be revealed and all will be straightened out in the end with every tear shed and not lost or in vain is a reality.


This is so true Arcturus,

Love,

Ursula
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cjwood

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #14 on: October 01, 2007, 03:45:58 AM »

Wonderful and comforting verses Janice,


Some of us are called to bear witness by direct experience of this inordinate evil that is manifesting throughout our societies. Others have no clue as to what is going on and live in glib sensuality believing that they are alright. We are called to find refuge in Christ from the evil that we are being given knowledge and experience of and His promise that all will be revealed and all will be straightened out in the end with every tear shed and not lost or in vain is a reality.


This is so true Arcturus,

Love,

Ursula
once again arcturus has spoken timely words of (His) wisdom.  the tragedies are by their most simplest definition, tragic. tragedy always rips our hearts out and makes us cry out trying to understand.  tragedy guts us.  the Spirit heals us.  we have to go to the major band-Aid.

His mercy and lovingkindness in bringing comfort to the hearts effected by the deaths of the innocent ones.

in the love of Christ,
claudia
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hart4god

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #15 on: October 01, 2007, 11:14:11 AM »

Thank you all again for the continuing input.
every post has shed more light in a dark time for our family.
I am finally able to say that our loss is the children's gain. They were little souls that never had to know by experience the heartbreaks and trials of this life. It is those of us who remain that must bear up under this burden.
I found that the compassion and gentle corrections (well, not really correction, more like instruction in righteousness) in these posts so beautiful and I am grateful that you have loved me even tho I am not always active here.
as I have said in the past- I read the forum almost every day. and I am blesses.
love,
judie h.
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gmik

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Re: just need some input on tragedies
« Reply #16 on: October 01, 2007, 10:54:49 PM »

Judie, my heart is aching.  I just read this thread and it is almost unbelievable to think of what the parents are going thru and will always have to bear.

What a lot of scripture and love tho that has been spoken here, and wisdom beyond the ages...

Dear friends of ours lost both of their (grown) children in a car accident.  That was a hard funeral, but they had it be very festive and joyous.  They fiercely determined to trust God no matter what.  That was 10 years ago, and they are still together and w/ the Lord.

Stay close to them bcz my friends said that was one of the hardest things....the sense that their friends abandoned them after the funeral.  We all "felt funny" around them, didn't know what to say, stopped calling, etc.

God Bless you Judie as you travel this journey w/ them.  God has you in this for a reason.(and thru you, all of us)
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