Dear Sisters and Brothers who have prayed, responded and empathized with me and for your compassion for the guys who have been affected by the circumstances we face here, I thank you all from the core of my heart.
This has indeed been and continues to be a trial but slowly I am understanding what lessons are being presented, Ursula mentioned being in a place where there is nowhere to look but to Him, this is so very true, I did not want the responsibility or authority to make this impossibly difficult decision. My heart cried "Lord change these circumstances so I don't have to go through with this!" Again, I realize that many of us are in much worse situations and I have been as well, dealing with dying or sudden death of a loved one is high on the list especially if one does not have the conviction of UR and the total success of Christ in bringing all to the Father.
That being said having the (temporal) decision making power to drastically and perhaps negatively change the lives of people whom you really care about is agonizing, the days, hours and minutes drag on as the Lord leads one through the trials He deems necessary. When we are not especially feeling His presence or the inspiration of His Spirit the gift of faith refrains us from cursing Him or our circumstances. I knew He was with me because I did not digress to the degree my flesh could descend to, but I just did not feel the Comforting Spirit of Christ's presence through much of this experience.
I had mentioned earlier that I could make a case for releasing three others and keeping those who were layed off just as effectively as what I eventually did here, it was at the point where drawing lots seemed to make as much sense as anything else. Many years ago I worked at a Union factory in New York (Rochester) and I despised the system that rewarded seniority over virtually everything else. The fact that very good employees would be released during a layoff and keeping mediocre workers only because they accumulated a few more months on the job seemed ridiculously counter productive and simplistic. Boy did that system look good as I agonized over the decisions facing me. The easy way out. I saw that I am still embracing the "easy way out." Our Lord and His truly mature followers do not seek the path of the least resistance, they only seek Truth and to shed the vanity of this flesh.
I like the analogy that Arcturus presented about the annoying and unpleasant grain of sand within an oyster and how this temporary tribulation produces a gem of great worth, this to me is another parable the Lord shows us through the natural, physical world. These things are all around us we only need to open our hearts and minds to the examples that He provides.
Peggy, you are so right about being the boss is not easy at least not when your employees become like
family and when we honestly care about their lives outside of what they do for us at work. We were able to give some severance pay to help ease the worry and stress this transition period is sure to bring.
Brandon, jER and Pera your counsel and empathy are greatly appreciated and the fact that the lessons are beginning to unfold is giving me the Peace of knowing we are always within His presence even as we feel imprisoned by our circumstances.
His Peace to you all,
Joe