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WHAT IS MARRIAGE? . . . . . . . . . . . . . Biblestudy Feb. 2007



                                   Feb. 2007 Bible Study

                                    WHAT IS MARRIAGE?

                         [Is a License and a Ceremony Required?]

I’m going to talk about what constitutes marriage, not the marriage state of how to have a happy marriage, that’s a subject for another Bible study. But we are going to talk about specifically, in detail, what is marriage. 

Can you just marry yourself? Just say, ‘well we live together and I kind of think of you as my wife. And she says, yea I kind of think of you as my husband. So I guess we’re married. We don’t need a piece of paper.  What’s a piece of paper? People who get pieces of paper get divorces and that’s nothing. We love each other and we are more married than they are married.’

Sounds good? There’s not much truth to it though and I will talk about it.

What is marriage? Is a license and a ceremony required? I want somebody to give me some idea of what marriage is. What is the meaning of the word?
[Two people living together, sharing their lives] No.
[ A union, created by God] Closer. 
[A mutual commitment] No, partly, but no. 

It is not what most people think and people will be dumb founded when they find out what the Bible has to say about marriage. I’m going to give you a little secret, the marriage state, that is the institution of two people being married together, sharing their lives together, living in a home producing children, so on and so forth, of that the Bible has virtually nothing to say. Yet the word marriage or marry is in there over and over and over and over… but not the things I just said.

[Is it two flesh becoming one flesh] No, not even close. You would think so though, wouldn’t you. Isn’t that part of it? I mean Christ Himself said that, right. It’s part of it, but it does not fit the definition of marriage though, at all. Not even at all.
[A contract] Now we are getting closer. A contract. Marriage is a contract. 

Now maybe a more important question would be, is love required to make a marriage? [No] Right on, no. Love does not even enter into the definition of a marriage. It does not. Proof… how many arranged marriages have been in the world? Millions. Do most of them when they get an arranged marriage, love each other? They don’t even know each other. 

Does sexual union have to be involved, in the definition of a marriage? [Unless it is consummated, you can annul it, right?] How long do you have to do that? Two years, eight years? Now we are putting time limits on it.

Sex and love has nothing to do with the definition of marriage. Nothing to do with it and I’m going to prove it to you. So What is marriage? We are going to find out. Get ready for a revelation, because this may not all be what you think it is.

I received an email it contains that this person is living with this person and it says, ‘we’re married.’ Here’s what he says:

“I can’t believe you would call that sinful living.
Maybe Babylon is right; we do need to have a physical circumcision and a physical water baptism and a physical wedding ritual etc… etc… etc… everything’s physical, it’s all physical. Perhaps even God’s law is physical and it matters not whether you truly love your wife or not, as long as you got that physical marriage license, you’re good to go. There is no ‘law of the land’ that says it’s illegal for two people to live together without having a marriage license.” (Ray’s comment - Is there a law that says you can’t do that?  That sounds good, I mean the guy is spouting off all this worldly wisdom. Of course I have a little statement in my notes here too: Likewise there’s no ‘law of the land’ that says when two people live together that they are LEGALLY husband and wife, either, is there. [What about common law?] It doesn’t, you can claim it sometimes, but the powers that be do not make you husband and wife.  They do not.). “Maybe in the dark ages, and OT but not now, not in the U.S. nor Europe or any other civilized society. Perhaps in the middle east, but they’re still physically stoning people.  So I wouldn’t want to follow that ‘law of the land’.”

“God declared who is man and wife, not some magistrate or a piece of paper.” (Ray’s comment - sounds good, I mean he’s just really nailing it, isn’t he? Wrong pale face. Are magistrates and pieces of paper worthless and ungodly? It sounds like it from his perspective that they are.) “I know Adam and Eve were husband and wife, that’s why I used them as an example of how you can be married in God’s eyes under God’s Spiritual law without having a physical wedding ritual.”

Oh really. He knows for a fact that Adam and Eve had no wedding? He knows that for a fact?

There is not a civilized culture or race on earth that has not or does not recognize LEGAL MARRIAGE between a man and woman. Now there are a few uncivilized, we know of one, in South America the Yanomami in Brazil.  Just a back woods Indian tribe that has nothing to do with husband and wife or family. They just do their own thing, they get together sometimes at night or the race wouldn’t go on, right. 

But all civilized cultures have that and it is an ordained institution of God supported in both the Old and New Testaments. Although ordained of God, marriage is more physical than spiritual, from a scriptural point of view.  Boy I can see the stones coming for saying that, but it’s true. We’re talking about the definition of the word, what the word actually means. If marriage was a spiritual institution, instead of a carnal institution. Why do 50% of those getting married divorce? What is spiritual about that? If all the people got married into a spiritual relationship, there would hardly ever be a divorce. But it’s not. People go into marriage with a carnal mind, with physical expectations. 

Now most couples who get married do love each other, I’m not saying they don’t, I’m just saying it’s not a spiritual union. They love each other and they have sex together, but the truth of the matter is neither one is required to define what a marriage is, neither one. Just because you're married to someone doesn’t mean that you love them, right. Does anybody agree with that? It doesn’t mean you love them just because you are married and just because you love somebody doesn’t mean your married to them, am I also right.

There are lots of people that fall in love with someone else’s wife. It doesn’t make them married to say, ‘she’s my wife.’ Why? ‘I love her.’ You can even say, ‘I love her and her husband doesn’t.’ It doesn’t matter, she is still his wife and not yours. Why? Why is she his wife and not yours , if he doesn’t love her and you do? Why? According to the guy in the email I just read, she should belong to the man who loves her, not to the man who is “legally” married to her. But that’s not the way it works, because that is not the definition of a marriage.  Now we are going to go through some terms and we are going to get very specific and you’re going to be blown away by what all these terms mean.

                                   TERMS OF MATRIMONY

MARRIAGE:  Gk. gamos - NUPTIALS, marriage, wedding. The CEREMONY and its proceedings including the ‘marriage feast.’

That’s the definition of marriage right out of the Bible. Now do you see sex, intercourse, or love in there?  No.  Let’s read it again, nuptials, marriage, wedding - the ceremony. CEREMONY… I want to show this to you over and over and over again, it will blow you away, it’s the ceremony and it’s proceedings, including the marriage feast or the marriage supper or what we call in the western world ‘the reception.’ 

NUPTIALS: Noun; ‘A wedding CEREMONY’ (Webster’s Dictionary). Adjective; ‘related to marriage or the wedding ceremony.’

That’s the first definition by Dr. Strong, it is nuptials. It has nothing to do with having intercourse, loving each other, or producing children, nothing. It means a wedding ceremony. 

The reason I decided to do this study, is because this person (email) is so hung up on the fact that ceremony has nothing to do with marriage. The fact of the matter is, what he thinks is marriage has nothing to do with the definition of marriage, 180 degrees opposite direction.
You can just go through dictionary after dictionary and Strong’s and you can look up all the words; marry, marrying, marriage, matrimony, look them all up, they all cross reference, they all produce the same truth… the wedding ceremony.

WEDDING: ‘The act of marrying, the CEREMONY of a marriage.’

It’s the definition of wedding, nothing to do with living together, rearing children, loving each other, having sex… nothing. Marriage is ‘gamos’ in Greek and marry is ‘gameo.’

MARRY: Gk. gameo - ‘to WED, unite a man and woman in wedlock.

What is a wedding? The act of marrying, the ceremony of a marriage, the exchanging of vows, the covenant agreement. That’s what marriage is. Interesting, marry - to wed, to unite a man and woman in wedlock, it’s the uniting process, it’s not the going to bed process on the honeymoon. It’s the actual uniting, the wedding, the wedding feast, the nuptials, the contract, the oaths.

WED: To take a spouse, to marry, to perform the marriage CEREMONY.

MATRIMONY: ‘The act of being married; marriage.’ Used but one time in the NT and that’s Heb 13:4  “Marriage (matrimony) is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled…”

It’s talking about the actual institution of marriage, when you go pass the actual ceremony and you come to the bed. In other words going to bed with your wife is to be honored, it is not something to be thought of as being a dirty or defiled thing.  But that is the only time that matrimony or you could put the word marriage in there, but it’s really talking about the state of marriage and maybe matrimony fit’s a little better.

ESPOUSED: Betrothed - a promise to GIVE in marriage or TO marry - nuptials, exchange vows, covenant.  Espousal was as legally binding as marriage, being confirmed by ’oaths,’ with a friend or legal representative by her parents.

When you look at all the words with an open mind and just let the scripture speak, there is no contradiction, these things are all in perfect harmony. 

2 Cor. 11:1  Oh, that you would bear with me in a little folly--and indeed you do bear with me.
v. 2  For I am jealous for you with godly jealousy. For I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.

Now what are we to learn from this? Well quite frankly quite a lot. Paul says all my teaching of the gospel to you is to get you ready to be Christ’s bride. To clean you up, “a chaste virgin.” Now some of these people he’s talking to and about, are married. How are they going to be virgins? Spiritually. Spiritually, virgins. Of course, he’s using an analogy, like a virgin is suppose to be clean and pure and that is why they wear a white gown, isn’t it. So in the same way spiritually, Paul says I am espousing you as a chaste virgin to Christ. What does that mean, espoused? Does this mean premarital sex……you know try it out and see if it works good before you take the leap or something like that? No. Espoused means betrothed, same word basically. 

Here’s what it is, it’s a promise to give in marriage. To marry. What is marry? To wed. What is wed? The ceremony of the marriage, nuptials - exchanging vows and the covenant. 

Espousal was as legally binding as marriage. Did you know that? It was as legally binding as marriage itself.  When you were espoused or betrothed to another, the way it was done in Israel, you could call that woman your wife and she could call you, officially and legally, her husband. But you couldn’t sleep together until you were fully married. 

When you were espoused to one another it had a covenant contract all by itself, before the wedding ceremony and the nuptials, which was another set of oaths and promises and covenants. The way it worked was it was confirmed by oaths with a friend or a legal representative for the bridegroom and the bride was represented by her parents. 

What we would call this today is an engagement, I guess. Engaged means we’re already determined we want to be married, we just haven’t done it yet, though it’s similar to that. But in Israel it was a little more legal. Today you can say, ‘I’m sorry honey, but here’s your ring back, I’m out of here. It’s all over, you don’t have to get an espousal divorce. 

[That’s like Mary and Joseph.] That’s why people don’t understand it, he (Joseph) calls her his wife and she (Mary) calls him her husband. People say, ‘how can that be, they are not even married.’ They were legally espoused and you can say husband and wife. Mary and Joseph, they were considered husband and wife before they married.

Now let’s go back to this man's foolish email statement. ‘I know Adam and Eve were husband and wife, that’s why I used them as an example of how you can be married in God’s eyes under God’s Spiritual law without having a physical wedding ritual.’ That’s where I gave it an ‘oh really.’ Now let’s look at this. 

Well some may be saying, ‘Ray I think you might be stretching some of these points.’ I don’t care, I think I have the Spirit of God, I think I speak what is moral and right and scriptural and maybe some won’t agree with it. But I’m going to speak my mind here, because I think I know what I’m talking about. I know what the scripture says and I know what some of these words mean and further more I know how they are used. I know the mind of Christ on this very thing, because He reflected back to the garden of Eden when He was talking about, what? Being legally married or not, and whether or not you can legally divorce, okay. 

                      DID GOD MARRY ADAM AND EVE WITH A
                             CEREMONY AND COVENANT?

(1)  So in Genesis 2 let’s notice something.  Here is where the Lord had taken from the man and made a woman.
      Gen. 2:22 …and brought her unto the man.

a)  Right there we can learn something. God ‘physically’ brought Adam and Eve together. So they are not husband and wife, and then He brings the woman to the man. This is the first time they connect, okay.

b)  I just learned this is morning, because I’m looking at some many references, so I looked in the Strong’s Keyword Concordance for the word espousal. Guess what the word means? Not the definition of the word, but what the word means in Greek, what the actual word means. It means ‘to connect.’ Jesus tells us that God “joined” them together (Matt. 19:4-6). The Greek for ‘joined together’ is ‘suzugnuo’ defined as - to yolk together, conjoin in marriage. 

God brings Eve to the man, to connect. I can see this as an espousal, they are now connecting for the first time. God put them together, He could have just let them wonder around the garden and one day he would say, ‘woe, who are you?’ She would say, ’my name is Eve and I’m a girl.’ ‘What’s a girl?’ She would say, ‘well look we are different.’ ‘Oh okay, so you are.’ 

I went through what that difference was at the Mobile Bible conference. How did he look at Eve and say, “you are bone of my bone,” how did he know that, he just woke up out of a sleep? He knew he was missing something and she had it, that’s how he knew. I don’t think God took a rib.  Why would He take a rib, what does a rib have to do with masculine and feminine? It’s just a bone, there are other parts of the body that are a little bit more specific as to what’s a man and what’s a woman. 

Okay notice what happens next here, so God brings them together and that’s what an espousal is, a betrothal… brings together.

c)  Gen 2:23  And the man said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

You read that and you say, ‘well alright he says she came from me and I’m going to call her woman. We can learn more from that. 

In Matt. 19 Jesus Christ is talking to the Pharisees. They had said, is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for any reason and every cause and He said;

Mat 19:4 …Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning "made them male and female,

Well we just read in Genesis that He made them male and female and He made the female out of the male, so we know that.

Mat 19:5  and said, "For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall cleave unto his wife, and the twain shall be one flesh'?

This is the important part, verse 6...

v. 6  Therefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God has JOINED together…"

How did Adam take Eve to become his wife?  Did they just go to bed and say, ‘this feels good, shall we be a couple, shall we get married? No, we don’t need to get married, I’ll just take you as my wife and you’ll take me as a husband. We don’t need to get to married, we’re living together having sex together, we’re husband and wife now.’ Is that how Adam and Eve started their marriage?

I mean this person in the email concedes that they were husband and wife. Is that how they started? No! God has joined them together. When is a man and a woman joined together? When they have sex on the honeymoon? No! It is part of the ceremony of entering in the marriage. It is not a part of just being together after you are married. 

“What God has joined…” There is a point where the joining starts… here they are apart, and now we can put together that God brought the woman to the man, that’s like an espousal. Then he joined them together. How did he do that? Did He push their bodies together? Come on, let’s not get lewd. He joined them together as husband and wife in the garden, before they ever came together or had sex or had children. 

God joined them together, that’s what nuptials are. You take a vow and what happens at the end of the ceremony? What does the minister usually say? I now pronounce you husband and wife. Why? Because they are now joined together. 

Did they have sex? No. What did they do? They took the vows, they formed a covenant in front of witnesses, in a ceremony called a wedding in a public gathering. That’s what marriage is. It’s the joining of a unmarried man and a unmarried woman together in a public setting with witnesses, exchanging vows and making a covenant to be husband and wife with one another as long as you both shall live. That’s what a wedding is. That’s what nuptials are. That’s what ‘marry’ means, that’s what a marriage is, that’s what starts the matrimony of two people.

Now so God brought them together - espousal. He joined them together - this is a covenant agreement. Adam said in the presence of God and Eve (they are witnesses) this is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.  That was not just a casual observation, that was also a spiritual statement of content and he says, and she shall be called my wife. Is that what it says? Well it actually doesn’t in the King James, it says “she shall be called woman.” But the word translated is ish-shaw maw-sheem and it’s translated hundreds and hundreds of times in the OT Bible as ‘wife.’ 

So God brought them together, God joined them together, Adam says she will be my wife. Are we having a little ceremony here? I think so. This is very physical and this is very verbal, there is nothing really spiritual about this. This is all a physical thing of exchanging of… ‘I see what she is, I take her for my wife.’ God brought them together for that reason. 

d)  In Genesis you understand that the second chapter gets kind of a repeat. The first chapter says He created the man and the woman, the second chapter tells how He created the man and woman. When we go back to the first chapter in verse 28, of course now we have the man and the woman together, so we know that what He is saying here is after He brought Adam and Eve together and here’s what He said; Gen 1:28 And God blessed them… This is before they were husband and wife having children, this is a ceremony. 

He blessed them and this scripture is not unlike Gen. 12:2, where God says the very same words to Abraham “…and I will bless thee…” We know what that is, it’s the covenant with Abraham, that He will not only bless the people and the descendants of Abraham, but through one of his seed, Jesus Christ, He will bless the whole world, the entire human race. That’s a covenant there in chapter 12, where it says “I will bless you” and it’s a covenant and when he says that God blessed them, He’s making a covenant with them. Notice what it says next.

Gen 1:28 …God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply…

Now let me get vulgar here, He says have sex and make babies. They didn’t do it yet, that’s why He’s telling them to do that. 

Now I have not normally done it, when I married a couple, in the ceremony to say necessarily, bless this family with children. Maybe they don’t even want children, you know they may say, ‘Ray don’t pray that, we don’t want kids.’ Most couples do, but maybe not everyone does. 

But here He blesses them and He tells them to be fruitful. Now the only way they can be fruitful is they got to have sex, right, then they are going to produce babies. Then if you want to take it in time sequence, replenish the earth and have dominion and so on. 

Gen 1:29  And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb yielding seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat:

I mean He even follows the same pattern as today, you know. You have the ceremony, then you have a reception where everybody does what? They eat and drink. So God says, I brought them together - espousal, He joined them together, Adam says I take this woman as my wife. God blesses them, says have sex, make babies and all this food is yours to eat now, it’s like a reception. 

e)  Gen 5:2  male and female created He them, and blessed them, and called their name (a singular name) Adam, in the day when they were created.

Just another aspect of the same thing that He did. Because we learn a little here and there a little, but it all happened at the same time, at the time Adam and Eve were brought together. But before they were having sex and producing babies. This is the ceremony, this is the marriage. 

Now we read this in chapter 5:2, He reflects back on Adam and Eve and the day He created man and He said, “male and female created He them…” Now notice this, “…and blessed them.” What else did He do when He blessed them? Where did He bless them? Back in the garden, we just read it. 

He made Adam and Eve and He blessed them and said have sex and make babies. Then later on He says (before He even got to that), He brought them together and Adam says I’ll take you for my wife. 

But now He adds one more thing in this blessing that took place back there earlier in the garden. He says, “male and female created He them, and blessed them, and CALLED THEIR NAME ADAM, in the day when they were created.” He called THEIR name… one name. Does that ring a bell, even today when two people get married… you got two different last names and as a symbol and signification that you are ‘one,’ you take the same name.

Isn’t it amazing He called their name, Adam’s name and Eve’s name, Adam. Actually it means humanity, but it was one name. Why? Because Christ said when He explains this thing, “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” (Mat 19:6). They were to be one flesh. Now we read this in Gen. 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.”                           

(end of audio 1)


Now I contend that God did have a wedding ceremony for Adam and Eve. I think the scriptures prove it, if you put all the scriptures together. God did the creating, He brought them together, Adam accepted that and the wife obviously went along with it, although you don’t see Eve collaborating here at all.  He said I take her to be my wife, God said good I’m going to bless you now and I want you to come together sexually as one flesh.  I’m going to give you one name, you’re going to be one flesh - one name.  Have children and all this good food is for you.  I say this is a wedding, this is a ceremony. So the idea that, ‘well they didn’t have a ceremony, they just decided to go to bed and become husband and wife.’ It’s not true. Read the scriptures, all of them. 

You know there may be more scriptures, I mean I just put this together in basically a day. There was a lot to put together, but I was even doing others things too…. I answered emails…. ran errands, whatever else I had to do. So if I would have spent weeks on this, who knows what else you could come up with. There may be a lot more that I overlooked. But I think there is enough here to make the point. What is a wedding? What is a marriage? Okay that is just the first point of what is a marriage.

(2)  Now from the scriptural point of view, marriage is a covenant. I’m going to quote some excerpts that I took from Rotherham’s translation, rather than King James.
Malachi 2:14 “Yet ye say, For what cause? Because, Yahweh, hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, with whom, thou, hast dealt treacherously, though, she, (here is where we learn one more aspect of what God has to say constitutes a marriage) was thy consort, and thy covenant wife.”

What does God throw in here as a necessary part of being legally married and being a husband and a wife? A covenant! We saw from the traditions of Israel, even the espousal, even the engagement was legal. 

They have found actual marriage contracts, Jewish marriage contracts that go back to the 5th century B.C.  So this idea of, ‘well they didn’t have ceremonies.’ Yes they did. In fact Malachi was written about 500 B.C.

(3)  Jesus used a wedding ceremony in a parable. Matt. 22:8 “Then saith he to his servants, the wedding is ready (what is the wedding? The ceremony, the wedding is the ceremony), but they which were bidden were not worthy.” 

Are we bidding people here to the married couples’ house or into their bedroom while they are having intercourse or something? This is the CEREMONY of getting married. He puts His approval on the ceremony, because that’s what the wedding is. The wedding is the marriage ceremony, that’s what it is. Christ is putting His approval on it and building a parable around it.

(4)  Christ’s first miracle was at a wedding. It says a marriage in the King James, but it should be wedding. The only place where that word ‘marriage’ really fits is in Heb. 13:4, where it says the bed is undefiled and so on.  Where Concordant has it translated matrimony. This was a wedding! He was invited, He came, He puts His approval on it by turning water into wine and contributing to the marriage festivities, the marriage supper.

(5)  We are espoused or betrothed to Christ. 2 Cor. 11:2 “For I am jealous over you with a godly jealousy: for I espoused you to one husband, that I might present you as a pure virgin to Christ.” This is talking about the betrothal, the espousal even before the wedding ceremony. 

Why does He call us espoused to Christ?  Because we are not married yet to Christ. When are we to be married to Christ? When does the scripture say? In the resurrection, right.  What is that marriage?  What does it say in Rev. 19:7 that we are going to have? “…For the marriage of the Lamb has come…”  It’s a wedding ceremony! It uses the word marriage twice there, in chapter 19. It says marriage, but that’s the contract or the covenant.

Then in verse 9 it adds a word to marriage, “the marriage supper.” This is all part of the festivities of a marriage ceremony, not marriage itself. 

(6)  Numerous times God likens His spiritual union with His Elect saints to that of the physical espousal, physical wedding ceremony and physical wedding supper or feast, with little mention of the conditions of the later marriage itself.

Isa 62:5  For as a young man marries a virgin, so shall thy sons marry thee; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so shall thy God rejoice over you.

So when we read ‘marriage’ in the Bible, especially in the New Test. You are going to have to readjust your thinking. It is not talking about the marriage state, it’s talking about the getting married. Always, getting married, the ceremony.

(7)  Jesus likewise likens His spiritual union with the Elect, with virgins waiting for Christ the Bridegroom to return for a wedding (Matt. 25:10). A wedding - the ceremony and wedding feast/supper of a marriage. 

He’s called the Bridegroom. You know what a Bridegroom is, that is somebody who is not yet exchanged the vows or oath to become the husband. That's why He is the Bridegroom. It all has to do with before marriage and during the ceremony and the supper and the festivities connected with it, almost every place you read it in the Bible.

What this person says in the email is not true, it is totally off base.

(08)  Sex outside of marriage is adultery and whoredom, by definition. Of course most people are guilty of that, yours truly included. But that is the fact, it is called adultery and whoredom. 

Heb 13:4  Marriage (matrimony) is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Marriage would probably been better translated matrimony, that is actually the marriage state, when a couple are married and living together as husband and wife. That institution there, matrimony. But notice what He contrasts it with… matrimony is honorable, what is matrimony? It’s somebody who went through a wedding with exchanging of vows and forming a covenant. 

What if you don‘t do that? What about people who say, ‘well, I just want to live together and have sex and never get married.’ They never commit and they say, ‘I don‘t want a piece of paper, she knows I love her.’  Yea well you just keep telling yourself that and maybe she doesn’t know that, maybe you’ve halfway convinced her. 

Notice what He contrast it with… matrimony. The marriage institution is honorable and the bed undefiled - having sex together as a husband and wife. The word undefiled, that’s kind of a semi-negative to me, the word is pure. Why put undefiled? The word is pure. The marriage bed between a husband and wife is pure in God’s eyes. It’s pure to have sex with your wife or your mate, that’s pure. 

But notice what the opposite is, if it’s not marriage, “…but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” If you are not in matrimony in your wedding bed, what does God consider you? A whoremonger and a adulterer. Now do I need to read Rev. 21:8, “All whoremongers will find their place in the Lake of fire.” Is that not clear enough there? People don’t put these things together. If you are not married, but you live together, you are a whoremonger and adulterer. 

So how important is this ‘piece of paper’ as people like to spit it out. It’s very important. Not that the piece of paper itself is necessarily important. But what the piece of paper represents, a formal ceremony in public with witnesses, making a contract through nuptial oaths in agreement to be a husband and wife, that’s very important to God. Very important.

(9)  Marriage comes under the category of;

Rom 13:7  Render to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.

This is talking about the laws of the land, the governments, the enforcement people and everything else, and all of the regulations that come out of cities and counties and so on. “…tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom…” You may be familiar with someone who has as much as spit on this. You don’t just have to obey the laws, it says you have to obey the customs too. 

The person in the email says, there is no law that says I can’t live with another person. There is no ‘law of the land’ that says that. Yes that is true, but there is also no law that says if you do live with a person you are legally husband and wife and you can claim all of the benefits that go along to a husband and wife. So maybe it’s not a iron clad law that they will put you in jail for, but it is a custom. 

Is marriage not a custom in the western world and everywhere else in the world? Lets face it, every civilized nation on earth has weddings, right. To make two people living together, legally husband and wife, every nation on earth has that. Now maybe it’s not a law where they put you in jail, but it’s certainly a custom.
Paul says you need to honor custom to whom custom and if you don’t you’re sinning. It’s as simple as that, “custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honor to whom honor.” Even tribute, you need a license that you have to pay for, that’s tribute. You say, ‘I don’t want to pay for it.’ It’s the law. 

You say, ‘I know how to drive a car and I don’t need a license to drive a car.’ Yes you do, actually you do. You don’t need a license to physically be able to drive a car, but you see there is laws and if you break the laws you’re sinning. So I don’t see where God says… show me where the Bible says, you need a license to drive a car. I have people so stupid that say things like that. 

They will say, ‘show me in the Bible where it says you can’t smoke marijuana or take drugs, where is it, show me that.’ Actually I can show you that come to think of it. I do know some places that I can show you that, back in Revelation, ‘porneia.’ But they will say, ‘you show me that in the Bible.’ That is stupid, “custom to whom custom,” that’s where it is, it comes under a principle. You have to learn principles, right. 

So proper marriage and licensing fulfill every one of these ‘tribute to whom tribute, custom to whom custom,” you see. Therefore we should do it.

(10)  1 Tim 4:1 Now the Spirit expressly says that in latter times some will depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of demons,

This is kind of important, right.

v. 2  speaking lies in hypocrisy, having their own conscience seared with a hot iron,

And what is the first thing they do?

v. 3  forbidding to marry…

You can lay this verse directly at the door steps of the Catholic church, where they forbid priests to marry.  Now they have a right to do that, but what does it produce? What does that doctrine of devils forbidding men, who are filled with testosterone, what does it produce? It produces a whole plethora of priests who have sex with little boys, that’s what it produces. It’s a sin and it stinks to high heaven. 

The word ‘marry’ there is forbidding to wed, forbidding to take the marriage ceremony, ritual, covenant, nuptials, oaths… all for the doctrines of devils. So can we see how important this is? 

Yes I know that I have said many times, nothing you do physical can make you spiritual. I know I have said that, and I stick by that. Even today I’ll say doing this properly and taking the vows properly, legally with a license before witnesses to have a legal marriage is a physical thing. It will not make you spiritual, it will not. It may help to make you spiritual if everything else be equal and right. But by itself it won’t make you spiritual. But it still is the right thing to do. Getting a drivers license to drive a car won’t make you spiritual either, but it’s the right thing to do.

~What you do physically can make you smell like a rose or stink like a pig. That’s physical right. So it doesn’t matter? Physical… physical… physical, throw it all away? No! We are physical creatures. I took a shower before I came in front of you today, I don’t want to smell like a pig.

~What you do physically can make you healthy or make you sick. So does it matter what you do physically? Duh.

~What you do physically can insure your rights or land you in jail. Does it matter what you do physically?
~What you do physically can keep you safe or kill you.
~What you do physically can make legitimate sons or illegitimate bas*ards.  I’m bringing this into the marriage thing here. 

This ‘we don’t need to be married, no.’ Okay, send your kids to school and let everybody say, ‘how come you have a different name than your daddy? Oh they are not married, they say they are, but they are not married like my mom and dad. Your mom and dad are living in adultery, that what the preacher says.’ 

It doesn’t matter how righteous you think you are, you are putting your kids in an awkward position, just having different names. Why? Because you’re too proud to legally get married. 

~What you do physically can be a bed of fornication or an undefiled bed of marriage.
~What you do physically can make you, two fornicators or one legal flesh. 

                 Wedlock/Marriage/Matrimony - All synonymous.

It’s all physical here, not spiritual. We could add the spiritual dominion to it, but today I’m talking about physical. What I think we are seeing here today, is to marry, to wed, matrimony, marriage, wedlock, espousal… these are all things that mean virtually the same thing. It’s the coming together legally with a license in public before witnesses, before God exchanging vows, making a covenant and then having a wedding feast. Because now you have done it right and proper and your friends are happy for you and you’re not off in a bed someplace, saying ‘oh we’re husband and wife now.’ 

Heb 12:8  But if you are without chastisement, of which all are partakers, then you are bas*ards and not sons.

God talks about if you don’t live the way He says, you are not sons, but what?  Bas*ards. What are bas*ards? Illegitimate children of a illegitimate marriage. Don’t you get the feeling God thinks it should be done legally, He doesn’t like this thing of bas*ards. You want to get spiritual, now we are spiritual. If you don’t obey God the way He wants you to and take His correction, He considers you a spiritual bas*ard. Now that’s God’s analogy not mine.

So what does God think of having children out of wedlock? Not much and you say, ‘oh but we are married.’ No you are not. We just went through espousal, betrothal, wed, wedding, matrimony, marry, marriage… we went through every word and if you just got together to fornicate you are not married. It’s plain and simple. 

Here is an interesting thought. When you are legally married not only does God consider you ‘one,’ but so does the state. If you are not legally married they don’t consider it the same. So if you legally married you are considered ‘one.’ Are there legal ramifications to that? Tax, social security all kinds of things. But guess what, if you yourself are in trouble, what benefit is there if you are legally married? If either one is charged with a crime and you are legally married to that person, they can not make you testify against the other. Why? Because just like God they consider you ‘one.’ It would be like testifying against yourself.  Isn’t that interesting.

How far would you take this nonsense? 

Saying, ‘well we took each other for husband and wife.’ When? ‘Today.’ When did you meet? ‘Today.’ What about that? People run off to Vegas, they only know each other two days and they get married. They are legally married, yes they are.
Well what about the email I got. If you just have to say, I love you as a husband and wife, and we’re married. So you could do this the very day you met. The first night… a one night stand, you go to bed and say I take you as my wife or whatever and now you are married? But what if that’s all it is, a one night stand and then you split up. So are you still married? Can you marry somebody else?  By this man’s own admission they are husband and wife.
Let’s say they are together a year. After a year of fornicating outside of marriage, they say, ‘let’s take each other as husband and wife. But we’re not going to have a ceremony, we’re not going to swear an oath, we’re not going to have an covenant, we’re not going to have witnesses, we’re not going to have a license, we’re not going to have it done legally, we’re not going to do it by the custom of the land you know. We’ll do it right here in bed.’ Now it’s a year or two later and they hate each other and they split. Does this person really tell me that for the rest of his life, he’s going to consider he’s married to that woman? I mean I may have been born at night, but not last night. He would no more consider himself married.

But now for arguments sake, to fight the system, you come across the super pious and religious and spiritual person and he’s got this spiritual marriage. There doesn’t need to be a marriage, it’s going to just be what he says and what he believes. So if they were together for a year or so, would they get a legal divorce, with a piece of paper? What if she claimed for the rest of his life, half of what he has is hers. Do you think he would go along with that? Probably not. What if he found another that he wanted to marry one night in bed? You think he would first say to his other ‘wife’ lets have a spiritual divorce together.
Don’t you see the nonsense of it. The total foolishness of the whole thing. Not to mention things like you wouldn’t be eligible for the persons social security, whatever benefits you could have gotten, if you were a legal mate, according to the custom of the land and so on. 

Mat 5:31  It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
v. 32  But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery.

So Jesus did not even contradict the aspect of divorce, you know when they came to Him and said, can a man divorce for any reason. He said that if you put away your wife or divorced her, except it be for a cause of fornication or immorality - ‘porneia’ is the word, then you cause that person, if they go out and find another mate, then you cause them to commit adultery. You had no right to divorce that person. 

Now He doesn’t say it specifically, but you can deduce, you know you can lawfully, legally and rightly deduce from what is said, something that isn’t said. If you shouldn’t divorce for that, “except for fornication,” that means for fornication, you can divorce. So if Jesus Christ is putting His approval on a certain aspect of immorality where divorce can be involved, than He is also backing up the fact, that it was a legal marriage until the divorce came about. 

Jesus does not contradict divorcement. If adultery is involved, Jesus okays the marriage of a divorced person.


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