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Author Topic: are there any bible-truths people in my area?  (Read 5158 times)

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cjwood

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are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« on: November 14, 2007, 03:12:11 AM »

hello to all.
i haven't posted in quite a while.  i can't seem to get off the roller coaster ride i am on.  i have been crying out to God to show me His will for me regarding my marriage.  i have never felt so alone in all my life.  i know i am not really alone but some days i just feel lost.  it has been almost a full year since i found out about my husband's online affair (and have since found  out many other things he says to his family members and oilfield mates about me.)  i have viewed off and on (when he is overseas for his 30 day hitch) his message history from conversations he has had via the msn messenger service we have.  i have always asked God to show me in some way if my husband was ever unfaithful to me / our marriage so that i wouldn't be ignorant of what was going on.  as they say, be careful what you ask for.  after reading thru various conversations i have been shown that, per my husband's own words, he has been living a life of quiet desperation because he feels he cannot be his true self around me.  he has even told family members that i changed after the Jesus thing.  he said i am still too religious for him, which confirms to me he has no clue what religious means.  he equates being a believer in God and Jesus Christ, and studying the scriptures as being religious.  he mentioned to one of his family members that when i first told him about ray's teachings and how God was showing me the Truths, that i was telling him as if he really cared.  anyway, we are still working our way out of debt so that it is not a burden once we ever file for divorce.  he is still living at home every other month when he comes back from overseas.  it is still so very hard for me, and for him i am sure.  i know he wants to enjoy the freedom and frivolity that his oilfield mates enjoy.  drink, women and more drink, women without having to look over his shoulder that his wife might be looking.  reading thru the message history broke me apart even after i thought i couldn't be broken any more.  but i needed to see the truth.  in one of the messages he was having with his sister in law she actually told him that the best way to get over someone is to get underneath someone else.  well, this is way more than i need to say at this point, and my subject is are there any bible-truths people in my area.  i live in austin, tx.  i need to fellowship if possible with like-minded believers in person, as well as with all of you on he forum.  i just feel lost.  i just want to learn to be content in all situations like paul speaks about in the scriptures.  it is so hard to let go after 16 yrs of marriage.   i have cried out to God asking Him why things are turning out the way they are, why did He allow me to marry my husband knowing how much it would hurt now.  then as quick as i ask why, His spirit tells me the answer.  because i am still being made into the image of Christ, and that God has a plan for me that He has had from the beginning.  the gehenna fire.  as much as it breaks my heart, i think God is showing me that i cannot be who He wants me to be, married to a man that has no respect for me or even for himself.  my husband has even told me on several occasions that he loves to lust and that lust is a good thing and that i am a prude for thinking otherwise.  the beast has caused my husband to abandon me and it hurts too much.  but, i pray there may be other forum sisters or brothers who live close enough to austin to fellowship with me in person.  i know God is working in my life.  i know also the pain is beginning to overwhelm me.

love in Christ,
claudia
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lilitalienboi16

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2007, 07:59:53 PM »

Hello claudia,

I wanted to let you know i read your post, and i feel for your pain. You might be weak to the world, but you are strong in Christ! Don't ever forget that. He cries those tears of pain with you, when your head is bowed to the ground in pain, He is there looking straight into your eyes from beneath you. He is always with you. We can never tell each other why God does certain things the way He does, but we can know for certain that God NEVER does anything WITHOUT a reason, but that there is ALWAYS a purpose for it.

I'm not sure what area you are in, but im in california, if your in this state, let me know and perhaps we are in the same county.

God bless you,

Alex
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brandon h

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2007, 10:40:53 PM »

cjwood-

I remeber reading your post a while back on the story of you and your husband. Didn't you also battle an illness? Well, I live in Maryland. But you are not alone, my dear sister. Your story stuck out to me because I remember thinking,"wow. God must have greatness for her. She is truly being tested through gehenna fire."
I can feel your pain through your messages, as I'm sure many have. Someone as close as your spouse abandoning you must be heart-wrenching. But though you feel like you will be overwhelmed, you will not. You will stand. You will be given peace that passes all understanding. Weeping endures for the night...(and you know the rest)
At the darkest part night is when the morning star appears. Wait for his presence, and peace be with you.
Keep us posted on how your doing.

God Bless
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gmik

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2007, 11:39:51 PM »

Claudia, my heart goes out to you. Hopefully, someone lives around Austin Tx, but until you do hang out w/ us!

Diana mentioned on another thread that we really are married to Jesus.  Get close to HIM and let Him guide you.

Gosh, I don't have the words, but I sure felt your pain.  I know that this little corner of the believers world loves you!
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jER

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2007, 12:35:05 AM »

Hello Claudia,

I just post this in another thread, but was drawn to place it here…

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going
to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed potatoes; in the second, eggs; and in the last, ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She emptied the potatoes into a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in another bowl. Then, she ladled the coffee out and placed it in yet, another bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see." "Potatoes, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer to the bowls and asked her to feel the potatoes. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its richness and savored its aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does this mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity of boiling water, under fire. Each reacted differently.

The potatoes went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water (under fire), it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water (under fire), the inside, beneath the shell became hardened.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water (under fire), they changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?" "Are you a potato, an egg or a
coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the potato that seems strong, but with pain and adversity - do I wilt and become soft and lose my
strength?

Am I, the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the application of heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death; a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, I am bitter and tough with that of a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I, like the coffee bean?

The bean actually changes the hot water (under fire), the very circumstance that brings adversity and pain. When the water gets hot enough, it releases a fragrance and particular flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get even better and the situation around you changes.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are at their greatest, "are you elevated to a higher level?"
How do you handle adversity? Are you a potato, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough joy to make you tender, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you trusting and enough hope to help you understand.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything through faith, that comes their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of things, past or present.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling
and everyone around you is crying.

Just wanted to send a message to those people who mean something to me (and, I JUST DID); to those who have touched my life - in one way or another; to those who make me smile - when I really need it most; to those who help me see the brighter side of things - when you are really down; to those whose friendship is appreciated.  Let's All drink and be like, "COFFEE."

In His Love and Ours,
JER
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cjwood

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2007, 02:36:39 AM »

i am so very thankful to our Father that He led me to bible-truths a couple of yrs ago. He knew what was coming round the bend and He knew i would need the love and encouragement from His other children, my brothers and sisters in Christ.  thank each of you who have replied to my latest post. to alex, i live in austin, tx. (used to live in ca though.) to brandon, yes i have had and still have some health issues, but then again, so did Jesus (which i never understood til ray's teachings explained it to me). to gena, amazing that you should mention how diana said on a post once that we are married to Jesus because i have been meditating on the reality that Jesus is our bridegroom. (and He is one groom who will never ever ever abandon me or divorce me). to jer, tears dripped off my cheek after i read the story your shared.  i want to be like the coffee beans in the boiling water!  as well as i know my name is claudia, i KNOW God will bring me thru this time, it is just so hard sometimes to see the other side of it because the boiling water is causing too much steam for me to see thru, kind of like a thick fog sometimes. 

it seems that perhaps there are no forum folks living in austin. i do seem to remember that someone was from san antonio, tx though because they said they used to be members of hagee's babylonian cornerstone church in that city before they were led to bible-truths. maybe someone reading this might remember who they are.  but even if no one lives close enough to fellowship in person, fellowship with you lot is just a click away.  i just need to log on OFTEN.

again, thanks so much for your love and care and support.  those words really don't even begin to describe my gratitude to all of you.  i pray that i will be able to come to ray's next conference so that i might meet some of my forum family. of course, some of you might be a little surprised by my full tattoo sleeve on my right arm, and a couple other tattoos i have. actually when my momma saw my tattoos she asked me if i didn't remember that we were to keep our bodies holy as the temple that houses the holy spirit and i was not supposed to defile it.  all i could think of to say to her was that my outer skin isn't the temple and that my understanding was that the scriptures she was speaking of were talking about our hearts (staying pure) not our skin.  i believe the verses she was referring to are in 1 cor. chp 6 somewhere.  i also remember reading an email to ray asking if he thought tattoos were wrong and what his reply was.  anyway, that has nothing to do with my post or with your loving replies.  sorry. i just got off track for a little while. 

love to you all,
claudia

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gmik

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #6 on: November 18, 2007, 08:06:26 PM »

 :D Claudia, I don't think this group would be surprised by anything!!!  Tattoos?? No biggie!!! AT the Nashville conference there were all kinds of people- no judging amongst the brethern!

Thank you for all your kind words for all of us!!
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Deborah-Leigh

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2007, 01:37:16 AM »

Hello Claudia

We are a scattered bunch and I believe that there is a purpose in this that is of God. He is making us experience being like the wind not the flesh. We are being moulded into His image and He is no longer flesh but is Spirit.

It is more comfortable to have the attachments to physical realities but the spiritual realities are far more precious. Like you have observed that your skin is not your heart. That is spiritual thinking I believe that you have been guided to comprehend. If all the BT folks had tattoos and were all living in the same physical location would our experiences here in BT be like the wind of His Spirit or like the flesh of the world?

It is painful to be born or to carry a cross of suffering and the fragrance of Spirit is precious and as jER has contributed, it is much better than potatoes or eggs! You can not eat a coffee bean but you sure can enjoy it. You can not catch the wind either, but you sure can feel it and see its influence. :)

Peace be to you

Arcturus :)
« Last Edit: November 19, 2007, 01:39:41 AM by Arcturus »
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Grateful

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #8 on: November 19, 2007, 04:26:34 AM »

Good evening, Claudia!!

I'm getting to meet you for the first time.  I too have gone through MANY tribulations :  physical, emotional, mental, AND spiritual.  Just as the saying goes, "If God brings you TO it, God WILL bring you THROUGH it!"   And, He HAS,  EVERY single time, Claudia!!  And for that I'm VERY excited and grateful to Him who created us for Himself, to LOVE and CHERISH us, AND make us into HIS own image :  perfect (finished) and whole (holy) in every aspect of our lives.   The very word, "Spirit", by Webster's dictionary definition of the American Language, Collegiate Edition (I had to get it when I started college), means "to breathe, to blow" (such as the wind)......and so, we cannot SEE the Spirit, but, boy, CAN WE EVER FEEL  It's effect on us.....Hallelujah!!!   Things got SO bad for me several times in the past that I even despaired of continuing to live ,  but as I said, He kept drawing me to Himself, and I GOT OVER THE SUFFERING, whatever it happened to be, and brighter days DID follow.   Another saying is :   "Whenever there is a shadow, that means it is brighter nearby."

Yes, Christ IS our Bridegroom.....AND He will NEVER leave us.   True, He MIGHT have to correct or discipline us, but just as soon as we confess our sin and promise to Him NOT to do it again, His PEACE simply cascades over our whole being, and we REJOICE in having a cleaner, clearer soul, and CLOSER FELLOWSHIP with Him who is WORTHY of alllllll the Love and Devotion we can give to Him, and try to do everything we can to obey that which is truly righteous (or :  just......again, this is Webster's definition of "righteous").

Praying for YOUR Everlasting Happiness to "hit" you throughout your whole being!  Loving Christ and our Father is soooooo very heartening to our souls!   :D :D     ::)

Blessings!    :D :)

Linda
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hillsbororiver

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2007, 09:19:37 AM »

Hi Claudia,

You are certainly experiencing a severe trial and as Paul says;


Heb 12:11  Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.

My first marriage was a painful tribulation for both my ex and myself, I see alot of the old me in your husband, I could justify about anything I wanted and I was only concerned with satisfying my own urges for many varied "pleasures."

When I finally felt that I was wasting my life and wanted to straighten up my marriage and actually be a good husband, provider and companion my plans were dashed, stomped and shattered by the revelation that my ex had become just like me!

I had not paid much attention to much of anything except my own desires for so long that I totally missed what an effective teacher I had been to her, she learned to be as selfish and pleasure seeking as I was! I could not persuade or convince her that I really wanted to change, she really did not care any more what I wanted, even if it might be good, she was determined to explore the path I blazed and that was that. I created a monster that resembled me and I despised it! It would be many disapointments, many carnal journeys, a few close calls with the undertaker before I would meet the woman who is now my wife, friend, and loyal loving partner. I appreciate her more than words can express, she has shown me what a good marriage can be, not perfect, nothing on this earth is (yet) but a beautiful example of mutual trust and purpose.

It would be many years still before I "stumbled" onto Bible truths and really began to feel that there really was more to this life than what we experience through our five senses and that there really is a God that has a plan and purpose for each and every one of His creation.       

What is different in your situation is that you have been granted eyes and ears to see and hear the Spirit of Christ in coping to understand why it is we have to experience sin and the result of sin on many levels as He uses this to purify our spirit. This knowledge does not untie the knot in your stomach or make you enjoy this process but you do know deep inside that these trials are the steps of maturity we must grow into on this earth, in this age, to be prepared for the next.

Unfortunately I do not know of anyone in the Austin area but I also remember someone mentioning living around there a while back, you have many here in the Forum that empathize with you and will be there for encouragement as this situation works it way through.

I can tell you from my experience that attending a Conference weekend is very good for the spirit, every time (4 so far) I have attended the blessing I received through our fellowship has been overwhelming, do whatever you can to meet with us in Nashville and you will see what I am talking about.
  ;)

His Peace and Wisdom to you Sister,

Joe

   
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mari_et_pere

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2007, 01:04:39 PM »

Claudia,
I haven't posted in quite sometime, nor have I even read a post for at least a month or so. Your's is the first one I've seen since then. I went through the exact same thing with my wife last summer. I read through the msn and yahoo messenger archives and saw what she was doing on myspace, and I just crumbled inside. After a few months of that, we ended up jobless and broken. It took a long while for me to trust her again, and we're still living in conditions that resulted from the summer and fall of '06.
But Claudia I so feel your pain! Just remember the free will messages you've learned here. Those put a lot in perspective for me. I hope things begin to look up for you soon!

Matt
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cjwood

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #11 on: November 22, 2007, 03:50:03 AM »

i just want to thank each of you who have replied to my posting(s).  your words always bring healing.  sometimes i do get overwhelmed by all the things running through my head, kind of like a million voices telling me; do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that, say this, say that, etc. etc.  but, EVERYTIME i come to the forum and fellowship i am able to get quiet in my mind and quiet in my spirit.  of course, i have to shut the laptop and come back to the reality which is my life (at least my life for this present time).  but, i am so grateful that i have a computer and that i can log on to bible-truths when i need to.  my husband will be coming back home friday nite.  when he is home he pretty much parks it at the computer so i don't get to log on very much when he is here.  but, for my own sanity and spiritual well-being i am going to start listening to ray's audio tapes again in the evening after my husband goes to bed (he turns in much earlier than i do).  i want to be strong enough to quit thinking so much about what is going on with my husband and our marriage, and focus on my Father's love for me and get back to studying the scriptures more diligently.  i heard a comment the other evening when i was watching a show on bbc-america.  the quote was "the thing about love is that you are always at its' mercy."  it made me think about my own situation, but then i thought about the fact that God is love, and we ARE always at His mercy...

i am thankful this thanksgiving day for the Truth that God is showing to us through His wonderful teacher ray smith.  i am thankful that even in the hardest times during my weakest moments He is urging me on, and that He has brought me to you lot.

love to all of you in Him,
claudia
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dch1

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Re: are there any bible-truths people in my area?
« Reply #12 on: January 03, 2008, 01:13:07 AM »

I know it hurts but remember what does not kill you makes you stronger. I have went Thru allot of pain my whole life. more than could be explained in this post. Just remember God is constantly working things        ( situations, troubles,....) together for our good. Meditate on that for about 15 minutes in a quiet place and feel the presence and love of the lord engulf you. also know you are deeply loved. Peace and Jesus bless
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