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are there any bible-truths people in my area?

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cjwood:
hello to all.
i haven't posted in quite a while.  i can't seem to get off the roller coaster ride i am on.  i have been crying out to God to show me His will for me regarding my marriage.  i have never felt so alone in all my life.  i know i am not really alone but some days i just feel lost.  it has been almost a full year since i found out about my husband's online affair (and have since found  out many other things he says to his family members and oilfield mates about me.)  i have viewed off and on (when he is overseas for his 30 day hitch) his message history from conversations he has had via the msn messenger service we have.  i have always asked God to show me in some way if my husband was ever unfaithful to me / our marriage so that i wouldn't be ignorant of what was going on.  as they say, be careful what you ask for.  after reading thru various conversations i have been shown that, per my husband's own words, he has been living a life of quiet desperation because he feels he cannot be his true self around me.  he has even told family members that i changed after the Jesus thing.  he said i am still too religious for him, which confirms to me he has no clue what religious means.  he equates being a believer in God and Jesus Christ, and studying the scriptures as being religious.  he mentioned to one of his family members that when i first told him about ray's teachings and how God was showing me the Truths, that i was telling him as if he really cared.  anyway, we are still working our way out of debt so that it is not a burden once we ever file for divorce.  he is still living at home every other month when he comes back from overseas.  it is still so very hard for me, and for him i am sure.  i know he wants to enjoy the freedom and frivolity that his oilfield mates enjoy.  drink, women and more drink, women without having to look over his shoulder that his wife might be looking.  reading thru the message history broke me apart even after i thought i couldn't be broken any more.  but i needed to see the truth.  in one of the messages he was having with his sister in law she actually told him that the best way to get over someone is to get underneath someone else.  well, this is way more than i need to say at this point, and my subject is are there any bible-truths people in my area.  i live in austin, tx.  i need to fellowship if possible with like-minded believers in person, as well as with all of you on he forum.  i just feel lost.  i just want to learn to be content in all situations like paul speaks about in the scriptures.  it is so hard to let go after 16 yrs of marriage.   i have cried out to God asking Him why things are turning out the way they are, why did He allow me to marry my husband knowing how much it would hurt now.  then as quick as i ask why, His spirit tells me the answer.  because i am still being made into the image of Christ, and that God has a plan for me that He has had from the beginning.  the gehenna fire.  as much as it breaks my heart, i think God is showing me that i cannot be who He wants me to be, married to a man that has no respect for me or even for himself.  my husband has even told me on several occasions that he loves to lust and that lust is a good thing and that i am a prude for thinking otherwise.  the beast has caused my husband to abandon me and it hurts too much.  but, i pray there may be other forum sisters or brothers who live close enough to austin to fellowship with me in person.  i know God is working in my life.  i know also the pain is beginning to overwhelm me.

love in Christ,
claudia

lilitalienboi16:
Hello claudia,

I wanted to let you know i read your post, and i feel for your pain. You might be weak to the world, but you are strong in Christ! Don't ever forget that. He cries those tears of pain with you, when your head is bowed to the ground in pain, He is there looking straight into your eyes from beneath you. He is always with you. We can never tell each other why God does certain things the way He does, but we can know for certain that God NEVER does anything WITHOUT a reason, but that there is ALWAYS a purpose for it.

I'm not sure what area you are in, but im in california, if your in this state, let me know and perhaps we are in the same county.

God bless you,

Alex

brandon h:
cjwood-

I remeber reading your post a while back on the story of you and your husband. Didn't you also battle an illness? Well, I live in Maryland. But you are not alone, my dear sister. Your story stuck out to me because I remember thinking,"wow. God must have greatness for her. She is truly being tested through gehenna fire."
I can feel your pain through your messages, as I'm sure many have. Someone as close as your spouse abandoning you must be heart-wrenching. But though you feel like you will be overwhelmed, you will not. You will stand. You will be given peace that passes all understanding. Weeping endures for the night...(and you know the rest)
At the darkest part night is when the morning star appears. Wait for his presence, and peace be with you.
Keep us posted on how your doing.

God Bless

gmik:
Claudia, my heart goes out to you. Hopefully, someone lives around Austin Tx, but until you do hang out w/ us!

Diana mentioned on another thread that we really are married to Jesus.  Get close to HIM and let Him guide you.

Gosh, I don't have the words, but I sure felt your pain.  I know that this little corner of the believers world loves you!

jER:
Hello Claudia,

I just post this in another thread, but was drawn to place it here…

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going
to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed potatoes; in the second, eggs; and in the last, ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She emptied the potatoes into a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in another bowl. Then, she ladled the coffee out and placed it in yet, another bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see." "Potatoes, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer to the bowls and asked her to feel the potatoes. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its richness and savored its aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does this mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity of boiling water, under fire. Each reacted differently.

The potatoes went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water (under fire), it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water (under fire), the inside, beneath the shell became hardened.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were in the boiling water (under fire), they changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?" "Are you a potato, an egg or a
coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the potato that seems strong, but with pain and adversity - do I wilt and become soft and lose my
strength?

Am I, the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the application of heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death; a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside, I am bitter and tough with that of a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I, like the coffee bean?

The bean actually changes the hot water (under fire), the very circumstance that brings adversity and pain. When the water gets hot enough, it releases a fragrance and particular flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get even better and the situation around you changes.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are at their greatest, "are you elevated to a higher level?"
How do you handle adversity? Are you a potato, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough joy to make you tender, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you trusting and enough hope to help you understand.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything through faith, that comes their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of things, past or present.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling
and everyone around you is crying.

Just wanted to send a message to those people who mean something to me (and, I JUST DID); to those who have touched my life - in one way or another; to those who make me smile - when I really need it most; to those who help me see the brighter side of things - when you are really down; to those whose friendship is appreciated.  Let's All drink and be like, "COFFEE."

In His Love and Ours,
JER

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