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[doreen]

Hi guys and gals,

Been a long time since my last post, but I still visit the forum regularly.  I feel like I've failed in what God is expecting from me.  I'm back at square one when it comes to His will in my life and why things don't seem to give clarification on my life.  It's the whole process thing that really is beginning to get me down.  I have no idea where I'll be in the next 5 to 10 years, but it seems the things I fear, will eventually enter into my life and I'm scared I won't be able to handle it.

I know you will reply with encouragement and that this is part of being spiritually trained etc.  But for me it's very difficult since I don't have any family living in the same country as me and I don't have any friends.  Apart from still having a friendship with the person who lives 2000 miles away, I still feel pretty alone and I can't seem to get enough inspiration to do the things I really like.  I might be suffering from depression again, but it's not as bad as it use to be.

I don't think I'm cut out for this whole God thing and because I haven't had any help when it comes to personal issues, I feel that maybe this is how things has to be.

Sorry for sounding so negative, but as a single mom, and living with someone who I don't think is my soulmate, it's hard to think and see things clearly, without the added frustration and problems.

Thanks for reading.

[hillsbororiver]

  It's the whole process thing that really is beginning to get me down.  I have no idea where I'll be in the next 5 to 10 years, but it seems the things I fear, will eventually enter into my life and I'm scared I won't be able to handle it.

I don't think I'm cut out for this whole God thing and because I haven't had any help when it comes to personal issues, I feel that maybe this is how things has to be.

Hi Godschild,

There were a couple points out of your post I wanted to address, actually the words below (in blue) are not my own but from a Brother who I am in regular contact with, I believe his perspective fits here, at least in regard to what I quoted from your post.

"........I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.[Jer 10:23]

I don't know whether i will be IN the lake of fire, or I will BE the lake fire! I'm not sure what tommorrow will bring, I cant go BACK, i have put my hand to the plow, and while it sounds all happy and good, its pretty darn scary!

WE have to answer for ALOT, WHY?...because WE KNOW ALOT!
There are men today, that lie cheat and steal, and haven't a problem coping with the sin at all....If i do a tiny minuscule thing  not even intentionally...I CANT SLEEP FOR A WEEK!

There are some things i have in my life, i work at them, but once i have given them up, there gone, and if i dare tread one inch towards this sin....I'm a wreck, i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant function, its friggin unreal! IT'S FIRE...it's pretty nasty.

I said all that to say this, Don't think it a strange thing this fire that tries us, its a wonderful thing, it's amazing, call it what you want, conscience, guilt, or whatever, but i can tell you first hand, it's the most unusual feeling i have EVER HAD!

I wonder how he will cure the rest of me...all i can say is, it's going to get worse, before it gets better."

His Peace and Wisdom to you,

Joe

[dogcombat]

Godschild,

You may FEEL like a failure in the natural sense, but don't sweat it.  A writer once asked the question to those who struggle on this journey: "How can God be disillusioned with you, when he had no illusions of you?"  The good part about being a failure in your walk with Him is that you are starting to come to the end of your own understanding.  How is this so?  In Proverbs 3:5 we a told to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean NOT on your own understanding. 

Your struggle is one where you learn to let go and let God do His will in you to reflect good works THROUGH you.  For our God "IS an all consuming fire".  And you will understand (in HIS appointed time) John 1:5 "And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."  Light is symbolized as thought.  In other words "when the light comes on.....  For He is the vine and we are the branches and apart from Him, we can do NOTHING.  In Isaiah 55 we see:

  6 Seek the LORD while He may be found,
      Call upon Him while He is near.

He WON'T leave you or forsake you. 
 
   7 Let the wicked forsake his way,
      And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
      Let him return to the LORD,
      And He will have mercy on him;
      And to our God,
      For He will abundantly pardon.

We all will leave our First love, those whom He foreknew will cry out to Him
 
 8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
      Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.

       9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      So are My ways higher than your ways,
      And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Does Proverbs 3:5 and John 1:5 become a little clearer.  His ways are Spritually Discerned (1 Cor 2:14) so in His time He'll make it clearer.

  10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
      And do not return there,
      But water the earth,
      And make it bring forth and bud,
      That it may give seed to the sower
      And bread to the eater,

   11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
      It shall not return to Me void,
      But it shall accomplish what I please,
      And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

You see.  It's a process of making His word a living reality as you follow Him and die to self.  However, it takes time.  And He is in TOTAL control.

    12 “ For you shall go out with joy,
      And be led out with peace;
      The mountains and the hills
      Shall break forth into singing before you,
      And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

  13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
      And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
      And it shall be to the LORD for a name,
      For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”[/color]

Godschild, God has you right where He wants you.  You only failed trying to live Godly on your human understanding.  Now that He's revealed that to you, He will be the one to teach, and train you how to love Him as He ALREADY loved you.

God be with you
Ches

[Deborah-Leigh]

Hello Godschild

It can not be easy living with someone who you do not share a commitment with plus being a single Mom.

You can not stop being a single Mom in any Godly way shape or form. Perhaps you should consider the many Godly ways in which you might be able to stop living with the person you are living with ?

No judging you, just wondering what I would want to think about if I were in your painful shoes.

Peace to you.

Arcturus

[hillsbororiver]

Godschild,

You may FEEL like a failure in the natural sense, but don't sweat it.  A writer once asked the question to those who struggle on this journey: "How can God be disillusioned with you, when he had no illusions of you?"  The good part about being a failure in your walk with Him is that you are starting to come to the end of your own understanding.  How is this so?  In Proverbs 3:5 we a told to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean NOT on your own understanding. 

Your struggle is one where you learn to let go and let God do His will in you to reflect good works THROUGH you.  For our God "IS an all consuming fire".  And you will understand (in HIS appointed time) John 1:5 "And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."  Light is symbolized as thought.  In other words "when the light comes on.....  For He is the vine and we are the branches and apart from Him, we can do NOTHING.  In Isaiah 55 we see:

  6 Seek the LORD while He may be found,
      Call upon Him while He is near.

He WON'T leave you or forsake you. 
 
   7 Let the wicked forsake his way,
      And the unrighteous man his thoughts;
      Let him return to the LORD,
      And He will have mercy on him;
      And to our God,
      For He will abundantly pardon.

We all will leave our First love, those whom He foreknew will cry out to Him
 
 8 “ For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
      Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.

       9 “ For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
      So are My ways higher than your ways,
      And My thoughts than your thoughts.

Does Proverbs 3:5 and John 1:5 become a little clearer.  His ways are Spritually Discerned (1 Cor 2:14) so in His time He'll make it clearer.

  10 “ For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven,
      And do not return there,
      But water the earth,
      And make it bring forth and bud,
      That it may give seed to the sower
      And bread to the eater,

   11 So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
      It shall not return to Me void,
      But it shall accomplish what I please,
      And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

You see.  It's a process of making His word a living reality as you follow Him and die to self.  However, it takes time.  And He is in TOTAL control.

    12 “ For you shall go out with joy,
      And be led out with peace;
      The mountains and the hills
      Shall break forth into singing before you,
      And all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

  13 Instead of the thorn shall come up the cypress tree,
      And instead of the brier shall come up the myrtle tree;
      And it shall be to the LORD for a name,
      For an everlasting sign that shall not be cut off.”[/color]

Godschild, God has you right where He wants you.  You only failed trying to live Godly on your human understanding.  Now that He's revealed that to you, He will be the one to teach, and train you how to love Him as He ALREADY loved you.

God be with you
Ches

Great response Ches,

There is value and merit within it for all of us.

Thank you Brother,

Joe

[brandon h]

  It's the whole process thing that really is beginning to get me down.  I have no idea where I'll be in the next 5 to 10 years, but it seems the things I fear, will eventually enter into my life and I'm scared I won't be able to handle it.

I don't think I'm cut out for this whole God thing and because I haven't had any help when it comes to personal issues, I feel that maybe this is how things has to be.

Hi Godschild,

There were a couple points out of your post I wanted to address, actually the words below (in blue) are not my own but from a Brother who I am in regular contact with, I believe his perspective fits here, at least in regard to what I quoted from your post.

"........I know that the way of man is not in himself: it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.[Jer 10:23]

I don't know whether i will be IN the lake of fire, or I will BE the lake fire! I'm not sure what tommorrow will bring, I cant go BACK, i have put my hand to the plow, and while it sounds all happy and good, its pretty darn scary!

WE have to answer for ALOT, WHY?...because WE KNOW ALOT!
There are men today, that lie cheat and steal, and haven't a problem coping with the sin at all....If i do a tiny minuscule thing  not even intentionally...I CANT SLEEP FOR A WEEK!

There are some things i have in my life, i work at them, but once i have given them up, there gone, and if i dare tread one inch towards this sin....I'm a wreck, i cant sleep, i cant eat, i cant function, its friggin unreal! IT'S FIRE...it's pretty nasty.

I said all that to say this, Don't think it a strange thing this fire that tries us, its a wonderful thing, it's amazing, call it what you want, conscience, guilt, or whatever, but i can tell you first hand, it's the most unusual feeling i have EVER HAD!

I wonder how he will cure the rest of me...all i can say is, it's going to get worse, before it gets better."

His Peace and Wisdom to you,

Joe

Yeah Joe that's pretty much hitting the nail on the head

God Bless

[Jackie Lee]

Hi Godschild, I have found when I am alone with no one to talk with is moments I can treasure seeking God and his purpose.

[dautyz]

Hi God's child,

I have read the responses to your post and frankly I am not trying to give you encouragement because as you have said that's what you are expecting to hear and then you don't really hear it.  So, my first response is stop tryin to figure out what is going to happen 5-10 years from now.  Do a day at a time.  If your live in is not workin for you get out of it.  being a single mom is no picnic, but hundreds out there do it everyday and you are no exception.  for now your only friend is Jesus, and in time he will bring others to you, but for now he is yours and you are his.

yours,
Dautyz