Dear Ray,
You seem to be a man with little faith. After Jesus Christ died and appeared to His apostles. There was Thomas who did not believe until he touched the wounds of Jesus. Then Jesus said "blessed are those who believe and don't see. My point is that Jesus died for our sins so we all don't suffer in hell after we die.We all have a chance to get to Heaven. God has a master plan for all of us. Have faith in God's love for us. Show God all the love you have for Him by obedience to His laws especially the 10 commandments and the commandment of love. I will pray for you. Sandy