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[Jackie Lee]

Does anyone believe this practice is wrong?
 A close older relative always tells me all the good things another has done for her.
She used to drive me almost to the brink.
The more I would do for her the more she would tell me how someone else did more and better at it.
I believe it causes strife and hard feelings between family members.
I can see nothing good coming from this, I believe it is practicing witchcraft whether knowing or unknowing.
I am having my eyes opened that flesh and blood is just carnal and emotional.
Any thoughts or corrections will be greatly appreciated.

[brandon h]

"Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience,
Therefore do not be partakers with them,
for you were formerly darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of light" (Eph 5-6 NASV)

People who have nothing better to do than to manipulate other people's feelings and emotions do not deserve the time and energy. I suggest simply prayer and confidence in God's will

God Bless

[Matt]

I guess it all depends on how close the relative is and why you continue to do kind things for her.

Galatians 6
 7Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
8For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
9And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
10As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.

I would not be overly concerned with her game playing.  As long as no harm comes to you or another loved one, I would just do good if that is really in your heart and not worry.  The Lord knows your true intention and love for her.
 
Matt

[Little Joe]

I agree with Matt

Romans 12:20

 20Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

You may be doing more good then you think!

[Jackie Lee]

Thanks for the replies, I agree with you Matthew I have to continue to do good even though at times it is stressful to know that mother is playing one grown child against another.
I have separated myself from the strife and continue to help.
It wasn't quite as hard to do as I thought, I just have to let the comments not sink into my spirit.

[ez2u]

Jackie you don't have to compete with your siblings.  Many games get played in families for many reasons  most are born from fear.  Loving and rejoicing with your mother over the help she is getting from her family is great.  I hope she comes to that place where she knows her family will love and care for her in a duly and reasonable fashion and her needs will be met accordingly as she gets on in growing old.  I think about growing old and in some respects it has to be scary.  People you loved dying all around you, your abilities to provided for your self and general welfare of your self lessening.  You become almost child like in some respects and might totally depend upon your children.  That's gotta be hard.  I hope this helps you  Peggy

[joyful1]

Hi Jackie!
I've always felt that if sodom vexes your soul....get the ___outta dodge! And sometimes I DO! But if we stay in relationships with manipulators, it helps, at least for me, to be able to see them for what they are: afraid and lonely....in need of love, in need of God's love, perhaps through you?  People that want to control you, really only want to be loved and are afraid that if they don't control you...they'll never get any love from you at all! Sometimes you can take it up close and personal...sometimes you have to "love from a distance."

and one other note that has helped me:  we tend to dispise in others the very thing we hate in ourselves! may God have mercy on us all!  

have a great day!
Joyce

[acomplishedartis]

Hi lee

I am agree with all the responses adove. I think Emotional manipulation is just love from the manipulator to him self and it is good that you are able to see things how they are.

On my case, after traveling for a while and go back temporary to home, I became to be able to see all this so clear, and all we can do is eat our proud, remember that all this is temporal, and love them, but that doesn't mean to give our selves to their sick emotional games, they are more ways to show love than reciprocating fake pretencions and emotions that just exist on one side. I guess is like the repentence writing of ray; we have to look at the hold picture (of why are they doing what are they doing), and dont think that we are better, because we would do the very same thing on their place.

Joyce i like what you said; ' we tend to dispise in others the very thing we hate in ourselves! '

Now is just time for me to try to put attention what do i despise in others...

moises

[Jackie Lee]

Thanks everyone I appreciate all your answers and advice.
I am humbled by this as I should be, I have prayed about this God has given me a whole new attitude I am greatful for it.

[gmik]

Great thread.

I hadn't spoken to my Dad since last summer.  I was mad at him for excluding me from some family gatherings.

At Christmas he just shows up, never acted like we hadn't spoke in all this time.  I take him into an empty room and just spilled it out.  He didn't think I had wanted to be w/ some of the relatives!  Didn't even know thats why I hadn't called.  Totally clueless.  So I was really madder than ever.  BUT.... I hugged him said thats allright blah blah blah (he is 80).

But now I am wiser and won't expect anything more outta him.  I called him the other nite just to say hi.  Thats how its gonna be.

Relatives can be some of the biggest pains!!!

[Jackie Lee]

Hi gena I agree we become wiser, when we do then it is easier to just accept and go on.
I now realize just do what you are allowed to do and don't let my emotions get in the way.