Hey
a few mins ago i checked my email and lo and behold i got approved to join this forum. PRAISE GOD.
Let me introduce myself, if i may.
My name is Paul. Lived in india for 23 years and the rest here in the USA (now cau u guys tell me how long i lived in the usa, my age is 32
JUST KIDDING)
I AM SO VERY, VERY HAPPY THAT I HAVE DISCOVERED THAT GOD LOVES US. HE TRULY AND DEARLY LOVES US.
LET ME GIVE U A LITTLE TESTIMONY
31 years i have dreaded god.
Daily i used to feel for us- humans…..but, My brain, mind so wrapped up in Calvinism that i stopped reading the word in 2007, from March 2007.
i couldn't trust God to be good, and i couldn't really read and understand the word of God. Only misery day and night at the coming eternal hell for all my people around me.
The name of our Loving God, blasphemed day and night: Calvinism worshipped god made in its own image- Evil, devilish, sinful. Heartless, ruthless, cruel. Just bent upon the destruction of all. Rejoicing in Evil and delighting to Kill. Lover of himself, lover of money. Like a viper in ones bosom, ready to strike without a moments notice.
and i feared him, i feared an image of god
Now my Joy is beginning to return. Holy, Holy, Holy is God of the Bible. With abundant Truth and Compassion, Mercy and Justice. He executes righteousness mercy and justice over all the earth. His anger is but for a moment, but his mercy and love endureth forever. Praise our Lord Jesus Christ, Praise be to his name. Full of Grace and Truth, Plentiful in mercy and compassion. For he will not always chastise, as a father has mercy on his children
i grew up roman catholic and have been a pretty decent kid (by normal human standards). When i was in high school, the burden of sin started to set in.
Confessions to the priest, devout resolutions to God, constant praying and penance, good works of being nice, endeavoring to be a good human being
could not get rid of the continued and constant presence of sin. Nothing was helping, even after mass, kneeling down and praying, while my dad and siblings waited outside... . Nothing relieved my conscience. Hope, I hoped..after this confession, I will set my ways, Lord will help, I will overcome this sin and so forth
My mom went to this church that was fundamentalist, i went with her sometimes (my dad and i and my siblings every Sunday to the catholic
church and my mom alone for 16 years to the protestant church (both my dad and mom loved each other and we all lived together as a family))
at around 16 i believed (simple gospel, Christ died for u, he has paid for ur sins, do u want to receive him, please lift up ur hand).
Life changed, there was this love and peace that was incredible to describe, there were immense sacrifices (thinking now) that was no big deal at that time Fellowship was sweet with the brothers (the sisters never co-mingled with the brothers, both lived in two different worlds)..
Came to US in 1998, moved to a big city in 2001, For the past five-Six years (May 2001- December 2006), it has been easily, with conservative estimates, 5000 hrs of prayers, tears, and hundreds of pages of notes, all driven by a single point preached the reformed church i attended :'Christ died for elect'
My alarm knew no bounds, if he died for the elect, then most probably he did not die for me, for my life is just a lump of sin. Hence for the past 5 years from may 2001 to this December 2006 it been so much reading, so much prayers so much agony, so many tears so much searching for 'what exactly is the gospel', and how does the sinner receive the blessing of eternal life.
the more i read Paul's epistles, the more i desired the blessing and the declarations and the indicatives he is saying. My alarm knew no bounds, i have to have this, i have to have this, this is immense, this is magnificent. Oh Lord Jesus Christ save me if u please, in your divine sovereignty save me (Reading John Piper, RC Sproul, Packer, and hearing a master reformed historian and a theologian for 5 years)
One thing was certain for me: God in his sovereignty (as one puts it...'absolute, infinite, and irresistible) cannot change, then i do not know if Christ died for me, because i do not know if i am the elect (just as those poor little Dutch children or some other place who broke out crying that there were not the elect....) and hence day after day, month after month, year after year...just one single thought consumed me. What is salvation and how to receive it?
THe Lord over the last 2-3years...taught me through that faith is required in Jesus to have everlasting life (John's gospel)
i was later (very shortly after accepting the the truth of Jhn 3:16), i was later stumped by what Apo Paul saying to 1 Corinthians 15 that Corinthian church was saved by believing the gospel. Later on i concluded that believing the gospel is same as believing in Christ.
At rapid succession i aslo say the demonic error of the Calvin
that Christ died 'only' for the elect. I concluded that this doctrine of limited atonement can only be devised by Lucifer himself (John 3:16, 2 Corinth 5:19, etc...refute the doctrine of limited atonement).
i was well satisfied and began to rest and enjoy life knowing that i have believed in Christ and he saved me and i am infinitely happy because of that.
But the Lord did not leave me there, Gospel has yet to be clarified, and then he brought the concept of 'objective universal justification' to me. and for the around 60 days and night i stared pondering over it and visiting different Lutheran journals. and now i see why the good news is so good, and so good that it is still good, even if people do not believe in it
Gospel says: forgiven, and declared righteous 2000 year ago, around 30 AD, when the savior died.
Then I created www. (Sorry, Links not allowed) in March 2007
(Please notice: I have changed the first Paragraph a few days ago)
Since from childhood I had accepted Eternal hell: the first para read: Eternal hell.
I couldn't reconcile the rest of the gospel track with the first para, and I gave up. I stopped reading the bible, since I knew I can't really understand the "all" verses.
But, the burden, some unknown lack of peace, lack of joy was with me. I couldn't explain it.
JUST AS I WAS TAUGHT: OH LEAVE THE FEELINGS THEY DECEIVE., JUST ACCEPT THE DECLARATIONS.
So I wrote down a few years ago: Be infinitely happy Paul, be infinitely Happy for Lord Jesus Christ has saved you perfectly, completely and for all eternity. I kept reading it, and when I couldn't generate happiness, I drank alcohol like a fish. First it started small, and now I can drink around 1 liter of liquor. My health was being affected. All the more I resolved, I will be happy, Lord has saved me. All the more, I was becoming cynical. All the more I heard of his promises; all the more I couldn't relate it to all. So from march 2007, till Dec 2007, I drank and drank. I couldn't read the word, I was unhappy to do any good works, since I reasoned, what is the use of Good works: Since every one who has to go to eternal hell are already decided. Why dress up the corpse. There was zero motivation for any other good work then TO LOVE MYSELF AND LIVE FOR MYSELF. Even that was giving me no Joy. I began to think about myself AND ONLY MYSELF, STILL I was not able to act. I tried to rev up my engine, but lethargy and apathy. YES THOSE ARE THE RIGHT WORDS: JOYLESS LETHARGY AND APATHY WAS THE DAILY EXPERIENCE. I RESONED WELL: I AM SAVED, WAY BOTHER. I BEGAN TO SING THE BLOoD HOUND GANG SONG: WE DON'T NEED NO WATER…….I WAS HAPPY WHILE SINGING IT. I REJOICED IN MY TOTAL SELF CENTEREDNESS. I ALSO BEGAN TO REASON. NO ONE REALLY CARES FOR ME, WHY SHOULD I CARE FOR ANY. EVEN GOD DOES NOT CARE, LOOK MILLIONS ARE DYING OF HUNGER. I AM SAVED, PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD. MY VAIN LIFE HERE ON EARTH IS GOING TO BE OVER.
AND SO IT WENT ON, AND ON: …….
AND again I was not looking, and WHAM! I stumble upon Tentmaker..and hopebeyondhell…
I read, early church fathers, and others quoted, and reading scriptures and verifying ….and I started being happy again . FIRST THING THAT RETURED IS HOPE.
For the past few days since Saturday, December, 14th 2007. I am becoming more and more happy. I am kneeling down and worshipping God in the night (just at the thought of his goodness towards all ….). DAILY MORNING IS NO LONGER A PAIN TO GET UP. NO LONGER THE ETERNAL IMPEDING DOOM IS TRUE. OH I AM HAPPY, OH I AM HAPPY.
I
So the second Lucifer's lie : Eternal hell
And I am so glad and so happy that it is not true. Eternal Hell is not true.
MY BASIC AXIOM WAS PROVED WRONG. OH WHO HAPPY I AM, OH HOW HAPPY: THE LORD GOD, THE LORD..GOOD AND GRACIOUS..SLOW TO ANGER, PLEANTIFUL IN MERCY
PLEASE PRAY FOR ME TO OUR FATHER IN JESUS HIS SON'S NAME
1) To believe in his everlasting love and goodness AS PROCLAIMED IN THE GOSPEL.
2) To do good to others in hope that they might be saved.
3) To stop this heavy drinking and smoking.
4) I may be established in the truth. Preach and proclaim only the gospel and nothing but the gospel, and continue in what the Lord God the Good Spirit has taught me, EVEN THROUGH YOU GUYS.
5) And a Good Church to fellowship (Please suggest )
PEACE, PEACE: JOY TO THE WORLD THE LORD HAS COME. JOY, JOY. THE SAVIOR OF THE WORLD: JESUS, GOD OF ALL. ALL HIS WORKS WILL PRAISE HIM.
PEACE, PEACE TO MEN. TO ALL MEN, TO THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE. ALL RECONCILED, ALL WILL BE RESTORED. PRAISE GOD, PRAISE GOD. OH WHAT JOY!!!
Sincerely,
ur brother Paul
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Topic: Dear Brothers and sisters: BOY AM I GLAD TO BE HEAR. WHOA!!!! HURRAY!! (Read 9901 times)