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Author Topic: Husbands and Wives  (Read 2930 times)

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Samson

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Husbands and Wives
« on: March 01, 2008, 12:31:06 PM »

Hello Everyone,

                      Thought this might be an interesting Topic, taking in consideration these passages of Scripture, Ephesians. 5:21-33; 1Peter. 3:1-7; Colossians. 3:18,19. I'll cover a few points from these passages. Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the congregation and give himself up for her, He who loves his wife, loves himself, for no man hated his own flesh, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the Church. Husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

                       Their's a great emphasis from these passages instructing Husbands to Love their Wives, Loving ones wife is mentioned four times in these passages of Scripture.

                        Looking Forward to hearing your comments, reflections and insights on these Scriptures and others to help all of us in our Marriages and those contemplating Marriage in the future. I covered some of the love aspect, I'll leave the rest to you.

                                                 Your Brother in Christ, Samson.

                                             
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #1 on: March 01, 2008, 05:38:02 PM »

Hi Sampson

There is much blessing that comes from submission from the wife towards her husband. The husband can help her to obey this calling by obeying his calling to love her.  :D

Submission is not the same as laying down one's life. One submits which is easier than sacrifice.

I always thought the man has the tougher role. One leads (the man leads) and the other follows. (the woman follows) ....well that is how it is supposed to be... :) Some women might not agree that following is not so tough :D...I think it is... :)

 Some men renege on their leadership thinking that is not so tough as leading.  Leadership is very difficult and it is easier not to lead and let the woman go on ahead. Laying down one's life is no walk in the park especially in these times of easy ways out, role reversals and cop out avenues leading away from the Will of God.

It really is diffucult to take up our cross and follow Christ and He makes every circumstance fruitful to His own Purpose and Plan.

Peace to you brother

Arcturus :)

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Phil3:10

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #2 on: March 02, 2008, 12:21:42 AM »

Arcturus and Samson,
As our Lord put the wife here to be a help mate for the man so do I feel the man should do the same. Of course, I feel the man should be the stronger but I will give my wife much more credit than myself in our family. No one can nurture like a wife and mother and this is one of the most important roles in any successful marriage.
Many men look at the provider role but seldom look at the help mate role. I have been married to the perfect help mate for nearly 43 years and thank GOD each day for her. I decided long ago if she could cook that I could do the dishes and most of the grocery shopping. A date night is a wonderful way to keep the romance in any marriage. Simple, I Love You, pet names and genuine respect for each other is so very important. I have told each of three children that it is hard to love without respect and I am seeing that evidenced in each of their marriages.
I am far from the kind of husband I would like to be but praise GOD for the wonderful wife HE gave me. Loving is not always easy, requires a lot of work, lots of prayer, and blessings from our LORD. I probably won't make many male friends in saying that I feel that the women is stronger than the man in most ways.
If each of us would try each day a little harder to love our spouse and our GOD this evil world would be much better. I better shut up now before I put my foot in my mouth
Phil3:10
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #3 on: March 02, 2008, 03:08:24 AM »

You sound like the perfect husband Phil 3:10 :) ;D There only for Gods Grace we go. :)

Peace to you brother

Arcturus :)
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Bradigans

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #4 on: March 02, 2008, 07:06:11 AM »

In the body of Christ, A man has a great responsibility as leader. He's to lead by example. A lot of men don't like to hear this.

Matthew 20:25-28 - But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Ye know that the princes of the Gentiles exercise dominion over them, and they that are great exercise authority upon them. But it shall not be so among you: but whosoever will be great among you, let him be your minister; And whosoever will be chief among you, let him be your servant: Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

If Christ the head of every real man (1 Corinthians 11:3) is nurturing and sensitive, shouldn't His men be nurturing and sensitive. Christ taught His disciples by and through example. He wanted them to wash each others feet, so what did He do? And you've got men who won't even change diapers or wash dishes because they say it's too feminine.

Ephesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

1 Peter 3:7 - Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

Granted you have to be equally yoked for these precepts of THE WORD to work. I was listening to a guy the other day saying that a real man can tell his wife to shut up, to shut the ---- up. That sounds a little dysfunctional to me. Christ is not a tyrant to His own. That's why He gave us His Spirit.

IN HIS LOVE

 
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rjsurfs

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #5 on: March 02, 2008, 10:19:36 AM »

Hi Sampson and all,

I like this verse:
2 Peter 1:3  According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:

So through him we are given guidance in all things such as these to live.

Regarding being equally yoked or not however, remember that we were unequally yoked with Christ but he was able to fulfil his role flawlessly... another example he gives us that our role as husband is independent... not contingent on the behaviour of the wife.
Romans 5:8  But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 5:9  Much more then, being now justified by his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him.
Romans 5:10  For if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.


Instead of searching your concordances for instances of "husband" or "wife" you may just want to study "church" and "Christ"... there are hundreds of examples of the relationship with Christ and the church for us to pattern our marriages after.

Bobby
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #6 on: March 02, 2008, 11:24:48 AM »

Hello Arcturus, Phil.3:10, Bradigans & Bobby Proctor,

                             You guys are not going to believe this, I was working on a Post reply that would have been before Bobby Proctor and when I went to enter it, it disappeared somewhere, probably went to another Galaxy, I wrote four paragraphs, commenting on a few things, now I'm tired and will only touch on a few.
                Arcturus is right regarding its' easier for a Wife to be Submissive to a Husband thats' Loving and I might add have respect(Ephesians. 5:33b) for that Husband. Now I'm referring to those who at least try to apply these Scriptures, those that don't like the example Bradigans mentioned wouldn't be applicable to them. Its' also easier for a man to Love his Wife, when she lets' him be a Man and its' easier for a Woman to have respect for her Husband, if he truly Loves her. My wife is a SMART WOMAN, because she allows me to take the lead and is a great complement and helper(Gen.2:18) and doesn't compete with me. As a result of this, SHE USUALLY GETS EVERYTHING SHE WANTS & MORE, I was taught in the past to give into your wife, as long as it doesn't violate Bible Principles, ones conscience or is a detriment to the welfare of the family. This can and unfortunately does, lead to a vicious cycle manifested in " I'll give you respect, when you give me love and vice versa".

                 Phil. 3:10 mentions Women being stronger, I agree with them usually being Emotionally stronger relating to dealing with peoples' nonsense, being more tolerant and patient, being better equipped at Public and Family Relations. Women are better at multi-tasking and men better at focusing intently on one thing(The Venus & Mars Syndrome). A Woman once told me that a Man is better off thinking first and emotionally second, when confronted with problems, otherwise he does very poorly and gets himself in trouble, whereas a Women can do both without saying something she might regret, I think she was referring mostly to personal relationships. And I'm certainly not the perfect Husband, although I try my best, only with Gods' help can this be accomplished.

                 Bradigans mentioned leading by example, thats' definetely true and if we are Harsh with our Wives, our prayers will be hindered(1Peter. 3:7b).

                  In conclusion again(because I lost my last Post), I'm convinced that God is training and purifying me in this area, due to my failures of the past, hopefully I'll get it right this time or I'll end up worse off than the Real Samson. Fortunately for me(this time), it seems I have my Soul-mate, compatible or evenly yoked in most areas, except the bible interest, but thats' okay. Once I was married to someone who shared the same beliefs, but we were incompatible in many other ways, leading to my demise.

                 Yes, Bobby Proctor, its' true, it shouldn't be contigent on Our Wife's or Husband's behavior, for that matter. Both parties have a difficult task at best, a Husbands Spiritual Head is The Christ(Perfect Example) and a Wife's Spiritual Head is a Man(someone imperfect to follow); 1Cor.11:3.


                  Thanks to all of you for your fine comments and assistance in this most crucial area.

                                      Your Brother in Christ, Samson.
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Phil3:10

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #7 on: March 02, 2008, 02:03:53 PM »

Arcturus, Bradigans, Samson and Bobby Proctor
I am far from the perfect husband but try daily to work on getting a little better. So much of this is the result of my maturation ,and a closer walk with GOD. I only wish GOD would give us at the age of 25 the maturity we generally have at age 50. Wisdom and knowledge are such special qualities and I feel our experiences with evil and foolishness are our LORD'S way to prepare us for a closer walk with HIM.
Bradigans, I have had the same thing happen to me in the past regarding posting. I so agree with the example part, especially with your children. We can fool adults often but our children are very discerning.
Bobby, your example of CHRIST and HIS called out is so very appropriate in a discussion of the husband and wife relationship. CHRIST did it all for us. We need do the same for HIM. Love is the key, real, true, and honorable love.
Proverbs 31:10 is one of my favorite verses, "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." The whole chapter is a real testimony to the help mate we all need and desire.  Samson thanks for starting this post as it is so very important.
In HIM,
Phil3:10
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #8 on: March 02, 2008, 02:37:35 PM »

You brothers make me feel so precious!

Sampson...when you loose your post, just click on Ctrl Z and it will reappear! :)
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Bradigans

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #9 on: March 02, 2008, 11:11:54 PM »

Hello Arcturus, Phil.3:10, Bradigans & Bobby Proctor,

                             
                  

                 

                 

                 

                 


                  Thanks to all of you for your fine comments and assistance in this most crucial area.

                                      Your Brother in Christ, Samson.

Arcturus is right regarding its' easier for a Wife to be Submissive to a Husband thats' Loving and I might add have respect(Ephesians. 5:33b) for that Husband.

In Christ, is there any other type of husband besides that which is loving and respectful?

 - 1 John 4:16 - And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.

Its' also easier for a man to Love his Wife, when she lets' him be a Man and its' easier for a Woman to have respect for her Husband, if he truly Loves her.

Let me be a man? In Christ, God ordained through THE SPIRIT that i am a man just as much as IN CHRIST, she (my wife) through The Spirit is ordained to be a woman. You don't have to try to do or be anything when you've got His Spirit besides rest in faith (Hebrews 4:11).
 
- John 6:63 - It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.

Now I'm referring to those who at least try to apply these Scriptures, those that don't like the example Bradigans mentioned wouldn't be applicable to them.

You can't apply these scriptures. It's THE HOLY SPIRIT that has to apply these precepts to your heart and life.

 - Romans 8:7 - Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.

Phil. 3:10 mentions Women being stronger, I agree with them usually being Emotionally stronger relating to dealing with peoples' nonsense, being more tolerant and patient, being better equipped at Public and Family Relations.

It's not about being stronger or weaker when you're a unit, because through THE SPIRIT, you're the same person.

 - 1 Peter 3:8 - Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:

In conclusion again(because I lost my last Post), I'm convinced that God is training and purifying me in this area, due to my failures of the past, hopefully I'll get it right this time or I'll end up worse off than the Real Samson. Fortunately for me(this time), it seems I have my Soul-mate, compatible or evenly yoked in most areas, except the bible interest, but thats' okay. Once I was married to someone who shared the same beliefs, but we were incompatible in many other ways, leading to my demise.

Go at it this time realizing that neither of you can get it right outside of Christ THE WORD. Both need to be in THE WORD (2 Corinthians 6:14).

 -  John 15:5 - I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.

Yes, Bobby Proctor, its' true, it shouldn't be contigent on Our Wife's or Husband's behavior, for that matter. Both parties have a difficult task at best, a Husbands Spiritual Head is The Christ(Perfect Example) and a Wife's Spiritual Head is a Man(someone imperfect to follow); 1Cor.11:3.

Nothings difficult in Christ. He makes burdens light. I'm amazed.

 - Matthew 11:28-30 - Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The only time things seem difficult and overwhelming is when we get into self. We have to remind ourselves sometimes that without Him, we can't do anything.   

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Samson

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #10 on: March 03, 2008, 10:34:33 AM »

Hello again, Everyone,

                               Thankyou Bradigans for the Scriptural counsel, I know of all these Scriptures you mentioned in your last Post, realizing Gods' Spirit needs to dwell in me in order to accomplish these things. In my case, their is a war going on inside of me between the flesh(Carnality) and the Spirit. Your right about the " trying" aspect, I should have said I " desire" to be a good Husband and my wife will say that I am a good Husband. As expressed earlier, in other posts, Its' evident to me that God is training me and purifying me with these experiences regarding Marriage(Hebrews. 12:7-11). I hope and pray that its' Gods' Will that things are different this time around. Insofar as Roles, My wife is the main Bread winner, handles the computer, handles some of the finances, we share the cooking, I do most of the cleaning, including the bathroom and kitchen, the laundry is about even, I do most of the dish washing and clean the litter pan. I'm better in Math and handle most of the finances and do our taxes. We support and complement each other quite well.

                             Whether or not, my Marriage is successfull, only God knows and if its' his Will, the better for us. Ray teaches at this BT Site that many are called and only a few are chosen, in my case, I believe I'm called, but not chosen. Whether or not this happens in my lifetime, only time will tell, I'm certainly not going to sit around and worry about it or be presumptuous to consider myself chosen at this time. I know that I'm at this Site for fellowship and don't want or desire any Church Organization type fellowship, for me, this is the best place to be and thanks for helping me to focus on the Scriptures presented in this discussion.

                         Thankyou Arcturus for the helpfull hint about saving my post(ctrl z), last night I was watching the weather channel and they mentioned one of the Stars of the Big Dipper being Arcturus or maybe it was the little Dipper, whatever the case, I never knew that before.

                          Well, its' time for me to retire from this thread and head elsewhere, now that I'm finally off from work, its' time to re-read Rays Free-Will Series.

                                         Your Brother in Christ, Samson(Brad)
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Deborah-Leigh

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #11 on: March 03, 2008, 02:35:22 PM »

Hi Sampson

The Star Arcturus is found in one of the 88 Constelations. I can not confirm that it is in the Big or Little Dipper but here is what I found: http://starryskies.com/The_sky/constellations/



Boötes is one of the 88 Constelations.

Quote:
Mythology
Boötes has a variety of myths and legends connected with it. .... Arcturus, the brightest star in the constellation has a great deal of information connected with it. it was known as the "Watcher" and by the Arabs and the "Keeper of the Heavens." To the Shawnee Indians of the southeast US, Arcturus represented a great hunter known as White Hawk.

For the Observer
 The Stars of Spring

Alpha Boötes, Arcturus ( 14h 16m +19° 11') is one of the oldest stars in the universe, a member of what astronomers refer to as Population II stars. These stars are have only traces of elements other than hydrogen and helium, indicating they were formed when there were few other elements available in the universe. With a magnitude of -0.1, Arcturus is the fourth brightest star in the sky. It is a giant yellow K2 class star, only 36 light years distant.


So I am not so far out after all ;D :)

Peace to you brother

Arcturus :)
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Bradigans

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #12 on: March 03, 2008, 03:48:39 PM »

Stay in THE WORD dear brother. Remember what our Lord Jesus said in conjunction to Hebrews 12:7-11.

 - Luke 9:62 - No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.

God bless you!

IN HIS LOVE 
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Gregor

  • Guest
Re: Husbands and Wives
« Reply #13 on: March 03, 2008, 06:35:30 PM »

Greetings,
This has always been one of my favorite scriptures on how God treats His bride:
Ezekiel 16:8-14
8 “When I passed by you again and looked upon you, indeed your time was the time of love; so I spread My wing over you and covered your nakedness. Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine,” says the Lord GOD.
9 “Then I washed you in water; yes, I thoroughly washed off your blood, and I anointed you with oil. 10 I clothed you in embroidered cloth and gave you sandals of badger skin; I clothed you with fine linen and covered you with silk. 11 I adorned you with ornaments, put bracelets on your wrists, and a chain on your neck. 12 And I put a jewel in your nose, earrings in your ears, and a beautiful crown on your head. 13 Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen, silk, and embroidered cloth. You ate pastry of fine flour, honey, and oil. You were exceedingly beautiful, and succeeded to royalty. 14 Your fame went out among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through My splendor which I had bestowed on you,” says the Lord GOD.

Now I'm no king and my gifts can't compare, but this is what I would aspire to treat my wife like. Gender aside, this is also talking about how God treats me spiritually. When I consider that Christ loved us while we were yet sinners, it makes me think that in the natural it is my duty as a husband to initiate the expression of love (and I'm not referring to the physical act, but the emotional aspect) regardless of the wife's actions or responses.

1Pet.3:7 Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

The key to this verse for me is to remember that we are heirs together. As God so treated me, I too should follow His example in treating my wife. Anyways, lots of good posts. Thanks to all.

Blessings,
G.
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