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Need help, prayers, guidedance
DizzyD:
Joe:
i can't speak for him now but at one time it was his idea to get together to "talk". My sister is the one that decided that i was not worthy to have a one on one with him, she wanted to be there to control me. She said she would not allow anyone to hurt his feelings. i told her she had NO idea what was in my head or my heart. my idea of a face to face was that so i could read the intent or watch the body english to make a determination of his sincerity of his words. To your thought about a letter to him i have started writing and rewriting as my thoughts wander and more questions that i have for him evolve.
My sister and i have had a close relationship until now. When she said he acted the way he did because he was mistreated growing up, to me, that was laying blame on our parents and that doesn't fly with me for i know they treated him no different than the rest of us and there is no similarties to how he is and the other 4 of us. That tells me it's how he reacted. There was things my dad did to me, that i could have used as an excuse to go out into the world and do like my brother, but instead i went a different direction.
i will see where all this mess ends at, but i do keep in mind that everything works to the council of HIS will, if we keep that in mind it helps get through the bumpy times.
Bud
Samson:
Hello Bud and my prayers go out for you,
I don't have too many suggestions, except re-read M.G.'S Post, it's right on target, in my opionion, the manipulators and the enablers. My Mother-in-Law does the same thing with her 30 year old son(or is he 15, just kidding), he lives at home, is extremely lazy, the whole atmosphere of that household centers around him, he has an IQ of 140, very brilliant, he does have a mental illness and plays upon that(manipulation), she has complained about him for five years and continues to enable him by responding the same way that doesn't work, only my wife is able to see through all of this and won't allow him to play her, he doesn't pull this nonsense on her, but responds by doing much better when she sometimes gets involved. Dr. Phil made a good point on one his shows regarding abuse, by stating that INDULGENCE is a form of abuse, it sounds as if your Brother was indulged growing up. Dr. Phil defined INDULGENCE as giving in to and giving everything a person wants and as a result of this, they aren't given realistic view of the world outside of the household and proceed to expect others on the outside to cater to their wants, according to their distorted view of the real world(NO, I DON'T AGREE WITH DR. PHIL ON EVERYTHING), but this point I do agree with.
Your Brother, Samson.
winner08:
God bless you Dizzy: Let me speak from the one who did them damage. As the oldest of 3 siblings I started everything. I also was the favorit, and I put my family through Hell. From 15 to 30 yrs. I did every distructive thing one could possible do. Then I started to change, little by little. I started feeling gulity of all the hurt I've done to them. But it wasn't untill just a few yrs. ago I started realizing what my brothers and sister whent through. I told my family(brothers and sister) that I was sorry for all the pain I caused them when we were growing up.To my dismay they told me my antics didn't effect them at all. They said they had there own lives and I had no influance on them. My point is I was beating myself up about the way I treated them. It upset me more then them. Now I still have a problem inside of me, about the way I treated my mom, dad and grandparents. ( nobody escaped)my destruction. Even though I have been forgiven it still haunts me. Either your brother will come around or he will not it's not up to you when and if he does. Being 66yrs.old I can't say if he will. But you my friend Already understand this. You'll be o.k.
Thanks for letting me share
peace be with you. Darren
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