Laws of the Natural Universe

[Matt]

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bath Theorem
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Theatre Rule
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Law of Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law
If the shoe fits, it's really ugly.

Oliver's Law
A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

[joyful1]

  oh dear! Ha!
Joyce

[musicman]

Good stuff!!

[Sorin]

"Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act."

Fully agreed. And that also applies, but is not limited to, showing strong emotions, especially when one seeks the sympathy of others.


Heh, nice post Matthew... peace,
Sorin

[musicman]

Also:

Probability of being labeled stupid
Directly proportional to the popularity of the worldly doctrine you are denying.