Tale of the Sheep

[Beloved]

Yeah but some one lit a match, boy did that clear the air...one Big Bang and with all the rising water all that was left was Oorah soup,  See Benny and his ewe and 6 lambs had secretly built an Ark and that had closed the door before they lit the match to put on little Rodgers cupcake . They had invited a whole bunch of couples over so they were expecting to have a good time now.

Now they all sat there and bobbed up and down. After living awhile with these people everyone was going crazy...so when the Ark finally landed in New jersey they all immediated ran off in all direction just to get away from each other.

Now these are the Stories of the generations of the Love Boat........ 

beloved

[joyful1]

[Samson]

         Then the neighbors of the Farmer, by the names of Benny Hinn, John Hagee and Joel Osteen came along and told the Sheep, if you don't listen to our teachings and give a tenth of all your belongings, including your sheel wool, you will be Eternally Tortured and won't enter Heaven, so the sheep blindly followed these men and spread their teachings to other sheep in the nearby farms and they all fell into the ditch following these men. 

                 I'm sorry everyone, I couldn't resist, Your nut of a Brother, Samson.

[Beloved]

But then a little ruddy sheep named Baaa...Ray  came along, he decided to throw rocks at these three giants...he wrote BT on each three stones and put it in his sling shot and and let them rip ..one by one they all fell down.

Then crazy king Ceflo Dollar was angry and round up more of the local giants and decided to chased Baaa...Ray him.  He kept singing songs about "How Unscriptural is tithething " and "There is no place like hell"  and others and gave these kings major migraine headaches so they decided to .....

[joyful1]

...leave him alone.  Meanwhile, as Baa...Ray was repeating "There's No Place Like Hell, there's no place like hell.." and clicking his ruby red slippers together....

[Deborah-Leigh]

There broke out a HUGE Chorus in the Heavens and THEN everyone heard the seveth trumpet blast and NOEL NOEL the Angels did say! Actually No Hell No Hell and THEN.....! lol

[musicman]

Oprah came back from the dead.  She said, "maybe there aint no hell, but smell this. . . ... .ffffffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt"!!  Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh, said the sheep. . . (Excuse me, baaaaaaaaaa).  One said "please kill me now".  Then Oprah shook her mega ton flab with laughter and said "it's time for you to meet my good friend". 

Speaking in an over done southern accent:  "The problem with you sheep is your self defeating behavior".  Is that you Doctor Phil?, said one of the wolves.  Dr. Phil faced
the head wolf and said "the problem is you".  "I want you to look in a mirror and say, I am a wicked heritic who deserves the hell that I preach".  "By the way, that there is the beast"  Then Oprah puffed up to the size of a. . . . 

[joyful1]

can we please leave poor Oprah alone? I really feel sorry for her! Ray can have ruby slippers....but don't make fun of Oprah! I think it is great that she came back from the dead and that Dr. Phil was able to make the line-up as well.....perhaps we could not let her pass gas though....would that be ok? can we do that?
::::::walks off shaking head::::::  "oh bother!"

[Beloved]

of a hot air baloon and floated off into the ozone layer. Now there is a crazy cult of hyenas that worship her.

In the meantime little ruddy baaa..Ray settled down to work for the kingdom.  A Few malnorished lambs were fed in this Kingdom. Outside the world was in havoc.

Creflo and his sidekick Bilion dollar Copeland were roaming the earth and came upon more dumb sheep and they fed them slop and they seemed to love it. Because they dressed in nice suits and lived the luxurious life Creflo and his friends became buddies with the local powers.  After a while you could not tell the difference between these bad shepards and the hogs.

The fanatical leader Obama Ben Bamda with his band of merry men decided to take revenge and blew up a favorite play ground.
and then like gnats pestered both the bad shepards and the hogs. The kept this up until one day Offarah eclipsed the sun on 2012.
and the aliens landed....they were from Flat Land.

(Some may be aware of this place...It is a land of two dimensions only. Imagine living on a peice of paper. When a object from a 3D dimension enters into all the flat landers see is their foot print. Imagine if the 3D person put their finger into flat land all the flatlanders can see is a circle, they cannot see above or below the plane...the circle seems to appear from out of nowhere.  In this land there are three shapes, points curves and straight.

Fortunately then land in Baa.Ray;s study. He tries to communicate with them and they say "You must be God".....You must help us.
We are the roundies and we are having problem with the pointies. They keep bumping into us with their sharp sides trying to deflate us.

Baaa..Ray no you misunderstand I am not God. God has a plan and you are part of it...relax stay away from Offarah the biggest false circle because if she lands on your world, it  will be badly bent out shape and never be the same. He encourage them and the went home planet.

In another part of the world....

[joyful1]

  Beloved! what part of ONE or TWO sentences do you NOT understand? The RULES plainly state that we were to write ONE or TWO sentences!!!!!   (*LOLROFWT!!!)

[Deborah-Leigh]

NO No Joyful1....Don't you see, two plus two equals four five and six! So two at a time or four at a time means witnesses! LOL

So then after the seveth trumpet that no one heard in the pointy square holes in a circle and flat land, a wonderful thing happened to one of the hogs. They did something awful during the time of their circumstances and they recieved a decree from the Spirit that left foot prints and circles all around. Because of their very bad behaviour and for counting their sheckles and all of the sheep, God gave the chief three options. Either face seven years of famine, three months of being on the run from the enemies or three days of pestilence! Guess which one was chosen......

[joyful1]

  ...I give up! which one? LOLROFWT!!! 

[Kat]

That is a rather crass sense of humor you have there musicman 

mercy, peace and love
Kat

[hillsbororiver]

Hello Everyone,

The (former) next to last post had to be removed due to it's content, especially since a real person was satired in a very unflattering manner.

This is something we all need to consider when we are posting something for hundreds if not thousands of people to read and judge us by.

Thanks for your understanding and cooperation,

Joe

[UncleBeau]

They said "none of the above, we want Oprah back".  After those words were spoken the Sun stopped giving off its light, and the moon turned as blood.  The sheep yelled baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, it's over!!  Then Dr. Phil laughed and shouted, "Oprah, stop blocken out the light from the sun and get your giant lard behind down here.  You've been summoned".  Then Ray threw up his hands and said "they despise the word of God".  So he wiped his feet of them and walked off.

Oprah chuckled and the earth shook.  Well sheep, guess Ray doesn't want to see that burning bush.  Dr. Phil replied by saying, "you silly beast, what burnen bush is you talkin about"?  Then Oprah pulled out a match and said "look at the forest everyone".  Then she pointed her horrendously large backside towards it, lit the match and. . . . . . . .   

Nothing burned at all because the trees were magical christmas trees with presents and decorations and paganism all around. Then suddenly the easter bunny and the tooth fairy floated down to the sheep along with jolly ol' .......Nick and said to the sheep, "Lie to your children or you're bad little sheep......for some reasons we just made up." Then they taught everyone including big "O" and Dr. "P" how to make rituals and symbolism out of special days and materialism. Then all through the night you can hear the multitude say, "mine mine mine!", Mine mine mine!" and........."We obey the mighty cupid which makes us buy more stuff to prove we love people once a year" Then, everything exploded in a mass of confusion and public schooling.

[indianabob]

Folks,

If truth seekers are reading this, they will get an unfavorable impression of the forum and of L. Ray Smith; that's not fair.
As adults, let's change the subject.

Indianabob

[winner08]

What started off being funny ended up not funny at all. I agree with Indianabob. When people start making fun of others it's not funny, it's mean.

                               Darren