New Units of Measurement

[Matt]

Because I have a simple sense of humor ...

2,000 pounds of Chinese soup = won ton

Aa millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope

Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond

Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram

Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = knot furlong

365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year

16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Sterling

Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon

1,000 aches = 1 kilohurtz

Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower

Shortest distance between two jokes = a straight line

453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake

1 million microphones = 1 megaphone

1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles

2,000 mockingbirds = Two kilomockingbirds

10 cards = 1 decacards

1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 fig newton

1,000 cubic centimeters of wet socks = 1 literhosen

1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche

1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin

10 rations = 1 decoration

100 rations = 1 C-ration

2 monograms = 1 diagram

8 nickels = 2 paradigms

100 Senators = not 1 decision

3 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 IV league

Matt

[Vangie]

That's just plain funny right there!  Thank you Matt for sharing with us.