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Author Topic: 9 Words Women Use  (Read 6393 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Samson

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #20 on: April 16, 2008, 02:21:07 PM »

    Hello Everyone,
     
            This is Samson's wife here!! I wanted to respond to help the W-O-M-E-N out. If people thought about it, most of the women and their problems begin and end with MEN!!!!! I wanted to give the list here without causing too much of a commotion:
                           
                                     
    1.
MEN-stration
2. MEN-strual cycle
3. MEN-opause
4. MEN-tal stress
5. Men-tal institution
 and last but least  W-O-M-A-N and W-O-M-E-N!!!
 
In my opinion and only my opinion MOST MEN  are not from mars but uranus!!!!! ;D ;D ;D
Thank all of you for letting my mars express all his opinions openly. I t is very rare for him to be able to express his feelings and opinions without  being ignored or shot down.
                                                                                             

                                                                                          Thanks to all,

                                                                                          Samson's wife Pam ;)
 
[/list]
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gmik

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #21 on: April 16, 2008, 09:35:44 PM »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

What a fun thread after teaching all day!!!

All kidding aside....WE know that the hand that rocks the cradle RULES the world!!! :D ;)

(Gosh Craig, you sure started something!)
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Matt

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #22 on: April 16, 2008, 09:47:31 PM »


circle, circle
dot, dot,
now I got the cootie shot! ;D

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joyful1

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #23 on: April 17, 2008, 12:07:09 PM »

9 things men say:
1- where are my socks? and how would I remember where I took them off?
2- where are my shoes? and how would I remember where I took them off?
3- where are the keys? and I don't think I drove last.
4- where is the remote? and there BETTER be batteries in it!
5- where is the phone? ...what wall are you talking about?
6- where is the mayo? and when did we get this refridgerator?
7- where is the pop/beer/etc.? and I'm in a hurry-- the game starts in ten mins!
8- where is my wallet? ...what dresser?
9- where are my glasses? and why are you looking at the top of my head?
« Last Edit: April 17, 2008, 12:14:47 PM by joyful1 »
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joyful1

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #24 on: April 17, 2008, 12:13:31 PM »

After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband
accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart.  Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was
like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get
out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women, and loved to
browse.

One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local
Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Fenton,

        Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may be
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Fenton are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.
    

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House-wares to go off at
5-min ute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
emergency exit at the back of the store.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. September 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked
the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN !'

And last, but not least

15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile,
then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'

Regards,
Wal-mart Manager
Harry Smith
:D






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Kat

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #25 on: April 17, 2008, 04:36:36 PM »



Hi Girls, I found the match to the one Craig originally put up  ;D

What a man really means !!

I'M GOING FISHING
Means: I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.

IT'S A GUY THING
Means: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Means: I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Means: Why isn't it already on the table?

THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Means: Are you still talking?

HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING
Means: And I sure hope I think of some pretty darn soon.

UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR...
Means: Absolutely nothing.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Means: I have no idea how it works.

I CAN'T FIND IT.
Means: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.

WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Means: "What did you catch me at?

I HEARD YOU.
Means: I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.

YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.
Means: I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.

YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
Means: Please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving already.

I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Means: No one will ever see us alive again.

WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.
Means: I make the mess, she cleans it up.

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
Means: I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.

OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Means: I have actually severed a limb, it will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.

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Samson

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #26 on: April 17, 2008, 04:55:18 PM »

Toushe Kat,  ;D ;D ;D

                            Well, at least I didn't forget our Wedding Anniversary, it was God's Will, he wanted to spare me from the possible grief and suffering that would have ensued, as a result of the principle of cause and effect.

                             Although, I admit approximately 1 month ago, I started to remind myself of the actual date of my anniversary, that's one date a man dare not forget, ouch, that really hurt.


                            Great List Kat, my wife will certainly enjoy that list, it seems us guys need someone like musicman to our rescue, I'm leaving for work and it would take great insight and skill to top that list, again musicman to our rescue.

                                            Samson.  :D :D :D
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Kent

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #27 on: April 17, 2008, 07:21:49 PM »

Uh oh >:(

Kats' on to us.

We need to meet at the clubhouse to figure out how we can get out of this mess.

I'll bring the bait. Dont you dare forget the beer!
« Last Edit: April 17, 2008, 07:24:38 PM by Kent »
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Matt

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #28 on: April 17, 2008, 10:15:52 PM »

Why us men can't win :P

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it's exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, it's favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're insensitive.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist pig.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're an egotist.
If you're not, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore, and you must be sleeping around.
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Snowfire

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #29 on: April 17, 2008, 11:29:54 PM »

Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all so they decided that one has to leave, otherwise they were all going to fall.
They were not able to name that person but the woman held a very touching speech - she said that she will voluntarily let go of the rope because as a woman she is used to give up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, without ever getting anything in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping their hands......
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Patrick

  • Bible-Truths Forum Member
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 672
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #30 on: April 18, 2008, 12:48:07 AM »


I remember the theme song to 'F Troop',


 ;D
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joyful1

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #31 on: April 18, 2008, 06:08:07 AM »

;D ahahah, snowfire...good one! :)
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Samson

  • Guest
Re: 9 Words Women Use
« Reply #32 on: April 18, 2008, 03:35:43 PM »

Hello Matthew,

                     Excellent come back, You might have temporarily rescued us guys, for now. That was great, you and I seem to have had some of the same past experiences with women, that post of yours sounds like MURPHY'S LAW at work. Fortunately for me, the list you posted, although very true in the past for me, isn't the case now.

                            LOVE THAT POST,  ;D ;D ;D

                                           Your Brother, Samson.
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