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:) My Testimony :)

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Danyool:
 Hey well i think its about time i came and gave my testimony for all to read.

Well i grew up in very disfunctional family, My Dad was a chronic alcoholic and He used to Beat and Abuse me. From as far back as i can remember till i was 15. My school life was not much better. Due to living in fear at home i never knew how to live a "normal" life or even how to interact with other Kids my age. I used to get bullied severly because of it. I was the "outcast" the one who everyone laughed at etc. So from the torment at school and at home as you can probably imagine i was a very scared little boy. I used to spend all my time at home hiding under the bed with all my stuff piled round hopeing my Dad didnt come in the room and find me. He was also the same to my mother. But my brother was always ok in my Dad' eyes. He was a true "Daddies Boy".
But i never hated my Brother for it, because its all i knew right from a young age. I used to think well this is just how its ment to be. (Since finding BT i have come to see how right that was But i never new it back then :))

Ya no how it goes anyway. All this carried on till i was 16 well 15 it was a month before my 16th Birthday my Dad kicks me out onto the streets. Well then i was screwed because i had never been taught how to live, didnt no how to talk to people because i was scared of them. So there was me walking the streets for nearly 2 years waiting for the council to get me a place to live.  I tried to commit suicide Twice but failed miserably First time was when i found 20 Ecsatcey tablets in a bush behind a bush shelter. I had taken them all with in 20 mins. And i then walked back to where i had been sleeping for a while and then the Ecstacy hit me and hoo yaaa ive never ever felt anything so Maddd as this. I was swollowing my tongue struggling to keep it up. I was dead against a wall couldnt move paralised My heart was nearly coming out my chest and i was hilusinating like crazy. the next thing i remember is waking up in Hospital. I had been found by someone walking past I was too high and losing my mind it too realise what was going on. So then I was back on the streets struggling along then a few months past i'd had enough again and tried Over dosing on some Tablets i'd stole from the supermarket. Ended up in Hospital again.

Then this time when i left the hospital a few weeks later i finally got a place it was tiny little Bedsit. It was a room about 4x3metres and it was a communial bathroom and kitchen. It smelt rotten but it was a roof over my head and was well chuffed with it. Well now that i had a home i managed to get a Job working in a banana factory (I must say that was one of the best Jobs ive had) I managed to make a few friends while working here for the first time in my life i had FRIENDS!!!! (But to find they were a bad influence) So now i was earning money had a home and friends i thought i was sorted so i started goin out drinking clubbing etc doing What i thought was what normal people did. But it evolved into me doing drugs again and drinking heavily. So ended back on the slippery slope to my personal Hell. And i get to the point where i cant cope AGAIN!! so i try suicide for the third time, and again i failed miserably!! (I think someone was trying to tell me something, Dont you?) well while in hospital this time i had my own little room, and this guy walks in says "Hi, i have just come into give u this" and he put a Bible on the Bed then he left. I opened the cover and it had a message. This is a gift for you from God. Well this is the first thing i had been given in a long time. So i cherished it and read it for something to read. Not knowing anything about God i thought it was just a word. And i loved reading the Psalms they were so calming for me.

So i left Hospital and returned to work to find there was a new Guy started. His name was Danny. And we became quite close then one day he just said straight up "you need JESUS!!! He can take all your trouble and fears away. He can give u a life u always dreamed of. HE LOVES YOU!!!!" and as soon as he said He Loves You. I burst into tears and fell to the floor sobbing. I had never heard that my whole life. And right then that was what i had missing in my Life. So then i gave my life to him. ("Born Again" supposidly ;) ) And things started changing all of a sudden, Im moveing Jobs for better money, i was able to get a Flat of my own which was clean and was MINE!!! I finally had my own Home where it was just me. Not cooking with others Not worrying if someone is gonna smash down the toilet door. All mine. And life started to turn out Good. I was going to church regularly and loving it. And i was studying hard.

Then a year ago in a dream i could see me stood on the Old Course golf course in St Andrews Scotland and there was no one around. And when i woke up with out thinking i new i had to be there. So i told Danny i was leaving i packed and got the first train. Danny said "when u get there have Faith that God will provide everything and with-in a week i had a flat and i had a Summer Job on the Old Course. And i was like WOW!!! and this boosted my faith levels up. So i get stuck in with work and make friends but to find that they were also a bad influence on me. Back heavy drinking clubbing the usual that i was getting up to a year previous. So i realised this and cut it off. I managed to get another Job on a different Golf course in St Andrews. And i just studyied and worked. And i realised that the reason i am here right now is to grow close to God and He made it so that it was difficult for me to make friends so that i focused on Him. Which i am getting better on still not perfect lol but who is...... only Jesus!!

I used to think i new how i got whre i a today but now i a begiining to see the truths in God' word i realised i dont know at all how i got here. All i know is that He is working in me and i can see the changes He is doing i me. I am seeing what spirituallity is all about now. Which i used to think was materialism. And i am so excited to see what God has planned for me next. He is Just so AWESOME!!!!! Thank You Father for the life u have given me.

I have been so blessed to Find BT and this forum. I spend many hours a day just reading and meditating on here. When i can see the truth in God' word, i can feel my Spirit screaming YES!YES!YES! It is an amzing feeling and extremely Humbling. And too see that everthing i have been through was beneficial. What a relief off of my Mind was when i learnt that. I am so excited in my walk with the Lord

May God bless and Keep you

Dan

Kat:

Hi Dan,

You really went through it at a very young age, I felt so sad for you.  But after all you have been through, you have made it to where very few have been so blessed as to get, having your eyes opened to the Truth  :) 
I'm glad you are here and can gain something from this fellowship. 
All the world has to offer (as you have first hand experience of) and as Solomon says is "striving for the wind."

Ecc 1:14  I have seen everything that is done under the sun; and behold, all is vanity and a striving after wind. (RSV)

Here are some different translations of the phrase "all is vanity and a striving after wind."

(Rotherham) "even this, was vanity, and a feeding on wind."
(CLV) "This too is vanity and a grazing on wind."
(GNB) "It is better to be satisfied with what you have than to be always wanting something else."
(KJV) "this is also vanity and vexation of spirit."
(NASB) "This too is futility and a striving after wind."
(NIV) "This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind."
(NKJV) "This also is vanity and grasping for the wind."
(NLT) "Just dreaming about nice things is meaningless; it is like chasing the wind."
(CEV) "because that makes no more sense than chasing the wind."

I think to have the Spirit of Christ leading you is moving beyond the "striving for the wind."  And now it sounds like you have got a good grip on seeking Him first.  I hope you will join in the discussions and share move with us  :)

mercy, peace and love
Kat

Rene:
Thanks for sharing, Dan.

You definitely have had a very turbulent life from a very young age.  My heart goes out to you, however, I rejoice that the Lord is blessing you with an understanding of His Word of truth.

I am learning to take comfort in the fact that everything that we individually experience in this life is customized just for us by God, and all that He does has a grand and marvelous purpose in the end.

The scripture that came to mind as I read your testimony was Act 14:22, "...We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God."

I'll keep you in my prayers.

René

musicman:
Wow Dan (that's my name too),
You've been through hell on earth.    My heart went out to you as I read your story.  I can't imagine growing up with such abuse and fear.  God has shown you some real evil, only to lead you towards the light of truth.  Your new knowledge can bring you more happiness than all of the wealth and prestige this world has to offer.  May God keep you on the real path.  

Danyool:
Thanks Kat for you comments

What came to mind as i was reading that was

1Jn 2:15 Be not loving the world, neither that which is in the world. If ever anyone is loving the world, the love of the Father is not in him,
1Jn 2:16 for everything that is in the world, the desire of the flesh, and the desire of the eyes, and the ostentation of living, is not of the Father, but is of the world."

From having nothing i can really see the benefit and Purpose of not loving the world. I see " striving after wind." as Idols of the heart. Loving the world more than the Lord.

Joh 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would be fond of its own. Now, seeing that you are not of the world, but I choose you out of the world, therefore the world is hating you."
Joh 15:20 Remember the word which I said to you, 'A slave is not greater than his lord.' If Me they persecute, you they will be persecuting also. If My word they keep, yours also will they be keeping."
Joh 15:21 But all these things will they be doing to you because of My name, seeing that they are not acquainted with Him Who sends Me."

But for me being led with the Spirit of Christ i am now coming out of the world. Striving not for the wind but to seek Him. If i am to overcome the world and all that is in it, then i need the Spirit of Christ working with in me to do it.



Thanks Rene for your comment

Yes that scripture comes up in my mind most days. Its a really humbling feeling to know that we have to go through many things that Apostle Paul went through.

Mal 3:6  For I am the LORD, I change not;

And to know that We all go through our OWN specific trials and tribulation according to His will.


Thanks Musicman (Dan ;) ) for your comments

Yes God has shown me real evil but i believe He only shows us as much as we need to see. And we all experience evil in different ways. Yes the knowledge i have gained from my experience has made me realise that the world really doesnt have that much to offer me.

May God bless and keep you all

Dan

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