Famous Last Words

[hillsbororiver]

I'll get a world record for this.

It's fireproof.

He's probably just hibernating.

What does this button do?

I'm making a citizen's arrest.

It's probably just a rash.

Are you sure the power is off?

Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it?

The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

What do you mean, "I'll be back"?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Which wire was I supposed to cut?

I wonder where the mother bear is.

I've seen this done on TV.

These are the good kind of mushrooms.

I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

You look just like Charles Manson.

Let it down slowly.

Rat poison only kills rats.

It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.

Give me liberty or give me death.

Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.

It's strong enough for both of us.

This doesn't taste right.

I can make this light before it changes.

Nice doggie.

I can do that with my eyes closed.

I've done this before.

Well we've made it this far.

You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?

OK this is the last time.

Don't be so superstitious.

Now watch this.

That birthmark on your head looks like 999.

What duck?

[Samson]

Hello Everyone,

                        That was pretty good Joe. 

                         I got another one for you, ALTHOUGH ALL THE OTHERS ARE STUMBLED IN CONNECTION WITH YOU, NEVER WILL I BE STUMBLED. EVEN IF I SHOULD HAVE TO DIE WITH YOU, I WILL BY NO MEANS DISOWN YOU, ALL THE OTHER DISCIPLES SAID THE SAME THING.

                         So much for MANS FREE WILL, as someone used to point out to me, they all had I-I-I(eye) trouble. Famous last Words.


                                          Samson.

[musicman]

How bout?

I'm gonna quit the army after this last mission to Iraq.

Hey, are you the guy who made that mob hit the other day?

I'd love to go swimming with the fishes.

Hey, I think your daughter left these in my apartment last night.

May I buy your lady friend a drink?

Come on, the sharks only come near shore when it's dark.

Oh now, they're just kindergartners. I can handle it.

Oh it's nothing honey, your just getting a little fat.

Sorry offixcer, I didn't know I was going 75.  That curve back there must have slowed me down.

Hey offixcer, since joining the force, have they begun requiring new recruits to have at least a third grade education?

Hey professor, sorry my assignment's so late but. . . Oh my god, that's not a picture of your wife is it?

(While talking on a cell phone)  Yeah honey, I just hit this idiots' car and. . . oh hey, it's Mike Tyson.

Hey Oprah, you gonna eat that?

(At a scientist of America conference) You know, I don't believe in evolution.

(In church on Easter Sunday)  Say, did you know that the trinity is a hoax?

(While attending the Creation Institute Museum)  What is this, the Flintstones?

(At an atheists r us picnic)  Man that dip taste like the primordial ooooz from your Bio Genisis farce.

Hey Tom Cruz, yo mama looks like Xenu!!