Hi! Paul
Gena took the words right out of my mouth. I keep coming back to the same thing and perhaps it is for this reason that the Lord inflicted me in the way He has. After the Lord took my dear wife from me I went through 12 months of hell. Not the imaginary hell of eternal punishment but a hell of limited torment and by torment I mean torment. I believe now it was to humble me just as a cook tenderizes a piece of tough steak to produce a delicious dinner, only God's method is a slight more severe on the tough steak. When I was at the stage that I was actually praying to Him to take me, that's when I found Bible Truths and this forum of lovely helpful people.
It was here that the scene changed as I plunged head first into doing what I believe God put me here for, to use my experiences both good and bad for the edification of others. The feed back from here and Ray's teachings left no room for depression or self pity my mind was fully occupied in doing the job I believe He had commissioned me to do. I am not a doctor, I couldn't recognize depression if it was handed me on a plate, all I do know is I hardly slept, had a poor appetite, dropped from my usual 13 stone to a mere 8, had to get new trousers from size 16 to 12. I was on death row and now I am back to my normal 13 stone and 16 trousers. All glory to God my Saviour.
Gena's advice my brother is sound, all you need to do is occupy that mind and throw every effort into your service to God and let Him guide you. He is the same God who is in all of us here, and there is no partiality with Him. What He does for one He will do for all who love Him.
Take your mind of the concerns of this world and give it to God and follow His advice and your depression or whatever it is will vanish. " For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (Matt.6:25-34).
The rest of the advice is sound also, a blood test as Beloved suggests will let you know if there are any physical problems. But all is of God and He is in control give Him priority and pray on your knees, something they never did during my time in Babylon.
God bless you brother in our joint walk in Christ.
Love in Christ Jesus.
Roy UK