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Author Topic: Teachers and cops  (Read 1474 times)

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Kent

  • Guest
Teachers and cops
« on: May 12, 2008, 03:17:24 PM »

Teachers:
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York city public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, some of these are really funny!
 
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them..
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold itall together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.
 
Cops
These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country. Thank goodness, in spite of the perils of the job, they still have a sense of humor!
16. ' You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'
14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?'
10. 'Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go toride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs.'
6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
1.' You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.Sign here.
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musicman

  • Guest
Re: Teachers and cops
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2008, 09:53:43 PM »

Boy, I wish I could fill in my own comments for students' report cards.  I would write on many "your child is a perfect candidate for home schooling!!"  or "As much as I hate the voucher program, I think it would be perfect to get your child away from me as well as every other teacher that can't stand your child here."

But the one's below are great.
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Kent

  • Guest
Re: Teachers and cops
« Reply #2 on: May 13, 2008, 01:23:30 AM »

I almost cut out the ones about cops. I dont care much for them.

I have a website dedicated to exposing their shenanigans.
There's nothing funny about them
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