Prayer

[keth30]

Please pray for my daughter.  Her name is Rosanna, and she is sixteen years old.  We have been having problems with her for a long time.  I have done everything I feel that I can.  She left home yesterday, on her own accord to live with friends.  I knew it was going in that direction.  She has been abusive to me and her little brother for the last couple of weeks.  I have been hanging on, and making excuses for her, not wanting to let her go.  I'm scared.  I'm devestated.  I don't know what to do.  I telling myself she is in God's hands, but my stomach is in knots, and I can't sleep.  Please please pray that God will have mercy and keep her safe until she finds her way home.  Thank you.


Keth30

[mrl1970]

I will pray for her. 

[Robin]

Hi Keth30,

I know your pain and fear very well.

I will pray for Rosanna and for you. Are there drugs or alcohol involved with your daughter?

Many hugs,
MG

[keth30]

alcohol, I am sure of because she told me.  She says she is not doing drugs, but her behavior is so erratic that I cannot rule it out.  This has been going on for a while.  In eighth grade she was diagnosed with a tumor on her ovary.  It was a pretty awful time for our family.  It was benign, but until they removed it, no one knew.  During this time, she missed most of the school year and we home schooled her.  She was a straight A student up to that point.  Then she started her freshman year of highschool, and she fell apart.  She started flunking everything, skipping school, and running away.  She was even busted for shoplifting once when she was visiting my parents out of state.   It's been like a roller coaster ride, because she would always be apologetic and promise that she would change and it would renew our hope.  We have tried extensive counseling to no avail.  My daughter is highly intelligent.  She's is stunningly beautiful and has so much potential.  It's heart breaking not to be able to reach her.   

She hates God, so she says, and doesn't know why I always have to bring him up.  Her language and abuse towards her family is so foul, that I cannot even repeat the things she has said to us.  It's like she has become this person that I don't recognize.  I get little glimmers here and there, but she only lives in the moment without regard to what the future holds for her and what consequences may be for the choices she makes now.   I just cannot believe that it has reached this point, as I always thought that she would turn it around.  Again thank you.

[Sozo]

Hello Keth,

Please know that we will all be praying for you and Rosanna. 

I couldn't even begin to offer you any advice, but maybe the truth will give you some encouragement.  God is in complete control!  Maybe he is taking Rosanna through this for her sake, your sake or the sake of your entire family...only he knows the purpose of this.  If there is one thing I've learned in my short life, it is this:  When I have lost complete control, I realize that I was never in control at all.

So rest in this truth...God is in control of everything that you and Rosanna are going through and he knows what is best and exactly what you need when you need it. 

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

[Roy Monis]

Hi! Keth

I have no experience in this field and cannot even attempt to give any advice, but you have my sincerest sympathy and prayers. Just take heart and trust in our loving Saviour;
"And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who is against us?" (Rom.8:28-31).


             
            You're suffering weakness and pain...so shard to bear,
                          Both  sorrow and  trials too.;
                  But they will not last....they'll pass away.
              'Cause He'll measure ....and bring you through.

                So child of God,  listen, there will be an end,
                      Just trust Him for His Word is true,
                Be patient and wait, for in His own good time
                    He'll measure.and bring you through.

God bless you sister in our joint walk in Christ. 

Love in Christ Jesus.

Roy UK     

[hillsbororiver]

Hi Keth30,

The description of your daughter's present state actually reminds me of myself between the ages of 13 through about 17 years old.

I hated God, school, society, structure of any kind and all authority, I treated my parents shamefully all too often. Skipping school, abusing alcohol and drugs, getting into fights and getting into trouble with the law were all a large part of my life at that time. I had no anchor, no goals and lived each day for only any selfish pleasure I could obtain, I was part of a small band of losers/outsiders that were headed nowhere fast.

My skid began when I was only 9 years old, when my youngest sister suddenly died, it made me question a lot of things but it did not push me over the edge, that would come 4 years later when my brother died. From that point forward I really did not value much of anything and really did not care whether I lived or died and I certainly didn't care whose feelings I hurt or who I disappointed. Life was not fair, God was a cruel tyrant and anyone bound by rules and regulations was plastic and pathetic.

You mentioned your daughter's medical issue, has there been any other traumatic episodes in her young life? Not that you need to mention them here but if she has experienced some major disappointments in her young life she could very well be insulating herself from caring about anything, pushing away all things she feels may either potentially betray her or disappoint her again.

It actually took another tragedy in my life to shake me out of this state and although I was not immediately turned around, step by step, day by day I became more aware of those around me that really cared and was motivated to not be a thorn in their side any longer. Unfortunately I have no sure fire answer to this situation you all are troubled with, perhaps a mentor close to her age who has experienced the fruits of the path she is presently on, someone who she can relate to who has overcome the negative, self destructive impulses some of us have followed.

I am now 54 years old and I can still vividly remember how lost I was way back then, I would not wish that on anyone but there reasons and purposes for everything we experience, I can't wait for the day when He clears it all up and we see it all, when this darkness is replaced with His Light!

Your daughter, you and your family are in my prayers.

His Peace to you,

Joe

[Dave in Tenn]

I will pray for Rosanna, for you, for your young son, and for her friends as well.  None of you are outside God's love and plan during this crisis.  My only word is, if you can't have her at home, love her where she is.

[ellie77]

Will pray for your family in this difficult time.It is so hard when there are drugs involved,they affect the reasoning centres of the brain,first and forstall emotional development.I do not know your situation but intervention is just a suggestion..  Do look after yourself as well as you can..so you can handle all of this.......peace ...Ellie

[EKnight]

Well Joe, thanks for sharing.  You were exactly the way my 22 year old son is now.  To a TEE!!!   So perhaps there is hope for him yet.  I thought he was making progress after a month in rehab but it appears to me that he is falling back into his old ways.

So Keth, while my son is quite a bit older than your daughter, he started his downward spiral when he was in H.S. so I know how you feel.  It is the most frustrating thing when your child is self-destructing and you are powerless.  And believe me, you are powerless.  And while it is much easier said than done, and since you are truly powerless, the one and only thing you can do is give it to God.  I am there now.  I pray for God to lead me in the right direction with the right words or actions because I honestly don't know what to do anymore.  I will pray the same for you and your daughter because I know how heart-wrenching it is to want more for your child than they seem to want for themselves. 

May God keep you and your daughter in the palm of his hands.

Eileen

[winner08]

Hi Keth30: let me introduce myself. My name is Darren and reading your post made me think back when I was at that age. Though I'm not a female I did put my parents through hell probably several times over. This is not about me but my sister who went through what your daughter is going through. At 15 she started skipping school and doing drugs,drinking running away from home several times a yr. just putting my mom through hell. Well she had a good example to follow.(ME) Anyway,She put my parents mainly my mom. My dad was absent from our daily lives but that another story. Let me get to my point. She had to go through all that rebellion in order to end up where she's at today. Making eighty thousand a yr. married and has a child, a beautiful house, and is very happy and healthy. The Lord has a plan for all of us and He is in control of everthing we do, so I believe your daughter is where she ought to be at this moment and time. The Lord is guiding her to her ultimate destination. I hope and pray this make you feel a little bit less worried about her situation. Alot of parents have children who rebell and they turn out just fine some turn out to be great people only God really knows.

                                             God bless you and yours,
                                               I will keep you in my prayers

                                                 Darren

[keth30]

Thank you all so very much for your kind words.  The time that you spent to post them and the thought that went behind them tells me that I am in the right place.  I rarely post, but I do read a lot.  I just think you are all so awesome that you would take the time to comfort a stranger in their time of need.  THANK YOU!

It has been a very long day for us and I will explain, but first I wanted to answer a question that had been posted.  The one major thing that happened to my daughter was when she was 6, I divorced her father.  He was an alcoholic, and still is.  A very good man with a big problem.  This was very traumatic for her, as she perceived her life to be perfect up to this point.  She has always blamed me for the divorce, and I never debated her on the issue, because I knew she loved her father.  Her father has been involved in her life every other weekend.  He never drank around her and I let her go with him because she needed him.  About two years ago, she realized her Dad's problem and this has been very disappointing to her because she had her Dad up on a very high pedestal.  Her Dad is destitute, lives in a very poor neighborhood, and basically does not have a steady source of income.  We, on the other hand, have been very blessed.  I have remarried, opened up three businesses with my husband, and have made a decent living.  We live in a beautiful house, and she has always had very nice things...... 360 degrees from her father.  This has also been my fault.  Although she doesn't come out and say it, she sometimes implies it with some of the things she says to me.  I think she also feels guilty that her Dad is always broke.  So, when I say "no" we cannot afford that, she'll say something like "you don't know what it means to be broke, you should see my Dad."  Child support is not an issue, because he cannot pay it, and we have stopped trying to enforce it long ago. 

Her and my husband, her step father, have always butted heads.  They love each other most of the time, but they are both very stubborn and this has been a source of great frustration for him, her and me. 

I have had her in counseling twice.  First when I divorced her father, so that I could help her cope with the situation, and more recently, about a year ago.  The first time, the counselor said that she coping fine.  The second time, the counselor assured us that she was a typical teen going through very normal emotions to very normal situations.   We all went, my husband, myself, my daughter and my ex-husband. 

Tonight, I had to get a police escort to go get my daughter out of a very bad situation.  I got a phone call from a parent of one of her friends who informed me that she was staying in a vacant apartment with a bunch of other kids and they were about to get arrested for trespassing.  Of course, this is not the story she had given me, and I thought she was in a completely different situation with adult supervision.  I decided to call the police myself before somebody else did.  Her girlfriend showed me the apartment she was in and I led the police there with the assurance from them that they would let me pick her up and take her home, as she is only 16 and they had no cause to truly arrest her.  I knew she would hate me, but she already does anyway, and I didn't want her alone in that apartment with drugs, alchohol and only one other girl with 6 guys, all 16 and younger.   Of course, I ruined her life tonight.  She hates me, wishes me dead, and never wants to see me again.  She was drunk, disorderly, and cursing at me like a parrot.  There was lots of alchohol found and a bag of pot, which she said she smoked, but it was the first time she had done that "in a while".  The police had to calm her down and threaten to arrest her several times because her mouth was completely out of control.  I finally managed to get her in the car and out of the situation.  She told me that she was going to kill me if any of her friends got arrrested, because it would be all my fault, and she would then kill me for getting them in trouble.  I called her father and told him the situation.  At this point, I cannot take her home.  I have a 7 year old boy with autism (Asperger's syndrome) who cannot afford to have this kind of chaos in the house when he wakes up in the morning.  We decided the best thing I could do was drive her the 45 minutes to her Dad's house and let her cool off for the night.  On the way there, she started to sober.  She did apologize to me profusely, but still did not want to come home because she was still "pretty mad at me for calling the cops".  I said, "That's okay, because I'm pretty mad at you for making me have to call the cops".  She managed a smile.  I'm glad she is safe tonight, but this is far from over.  She is out of control, and as someone posted earlier, I am powerless, because when I child decides that she no longer respects you or your advice, they can do pretty much anything they want to do.  I have stopped her momentarily, but I know it's just for now.  I do believe that God has her in his hands.  I am asking Him to let me respond correctly in every situation, to help me learn what I am suppose to and to keep her safe while she comes to her senses.  I know He is in control, and I believe he is using this situation to make me completely trust Him.  Let's hope that I am a fast learner (wink)

Thank you again for your loving thoughts and prayers.  It really helps to know that I can lay it all down right here, openly and honestly.

I am but a babe in Christ.  I have so much to learn.  God has given me all of you, who are further along in your walk than me.  You are helping me more than you can even know. 

Sincerely
Keth30
Elizabeth Wilkerson

[Robin]

Everything you did sounds perfect Elizabeth. Your daughter is lucky to have you. She just might not know that at the moment, but she will appreciate it later.

May God continue to guide you and work his will and purpose in all your lives.

[Dave in Tenn]

Agreed with M.G.  I'm very happy you shared this report.  I believe that God is answering prayer.  We don't always know what exactly to pray for, but the Spirit intercedes. 

Just as an encouragement...both my sisters had their periods of strong rebellion, and both are now walking with God in what light and understanding they have.  I pray God does an even greater work in your entire family and in her father and friends as well.  I can pray this in assurance, because I know that He will.

[OBrenda]

Hi Elizabeth,
I can't add anything to the wisdom already given, or your reactions to the war zone you are living in,...Fighting for your daughter. Sounds like you are doing all the right things. I will certainly add my prayers to all the others here!

Just Continue to Stand in Faith with the Armour of God!
Your Sister in Christ,
Brenda

[Phil3:10]

Keth30,
I have prayed for your current situation with your daughter and will continue to do so. I have raised 2 daughters 34 and 40 and have been blessed beyond belief by both. I thank my LORD for this special blessing and pray that in a few years you will find your circumstances like mine.
GOD is in complete control and HE will take care of this matter. Prayerfully, HE will use this time in your life to bring you and your daughter closer and to bless both of you. GOD bless and my thoughts and prayers will continue for you and your precious child.
Phil3:10

[frecklegirl417]

To Keth30;
     My prayers are with you has well are my husbands(Samson). I was a rebellious teenager has well. I started drinking at 16 and didn't stop. I eventually did and realized that my one and only true friend was my mother. I have put some of my testimony in the who am i section. My real father told me at 16 he didn't want me even when my mom was pregnant. I love my stepfather now but growing up I thought he was trying to take my father's place so I rebelled more. My mom called the cops several times and took me home. The most loving thing my mom ever did was call the cops the last time and told them she couldn't take anymore and had me placed in a home for unruly girls. I know this may seem to be harsh but it worked. I got sober for awhile but that is a different story. I got the right counseling and graduated high school a year ahead of everyone else in my class. I am not saying you should put your daughter in a home like this but maybe she needs a counselor or a place who can deal with just her problems. In my case I blamed myself for my father leaving and not wanting me and figured no one else really did. Know that I am going to be 40 and my mom is my best friend and my stepfather and I are closer then his children are I am grateful for everything they have done. I am sorry for running away with this but I wanted you to see a little hope from a teenager who grew up and realized that her parents really loved her and did the best they could at the times. I will pray for you and all your family and pray that Rosanna will lose the desire to be harmful to herself and to others and to hear you say how much you love her.

                                                                                All my prayers,
                                                                                       Frecklegirl(Pam)