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Author Topic: My last post  (Read 3509 times)

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jakfr0s

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My last post
« on: August 04, 2008, 01:42:00 AM »

  Hi all, I just wanted to let you know that this will be my last post on this forum,unless of course God has a different plan. I want to let you know I have no ill will towards anyone of you, how can I if I have seen the glorious future for all. Im not giving up, no way, no sir! God has dragged me too far. I have experienced miracles I never imagined. Ive just never been quite comfortable posting, ever. I think it shows. It was just a miracle in itself the first time I posted. I think the beast within me showed a little of itself to you. But there is no doubt I have seen my beast in a dream. It only came with almost not stop praying, and I honestly never expected to see what I saw. I knew I was dreaming and I begged God to wake me. But I kid you not I heard a voice that told me "God is in control". I saw alot in this dream, way to hard to explain. Some might say it was just a bad nightmare, and I would have to agree it was the worst nightmare I have ever had. I was truly terrified. Before I saw it, I thought God has woke me up. But I sat up looked to my left, and there was a mirror with my reflection (duh), when I leaned forward to get a better look it was my face but badly disfigured, and very old looking. I seen tears in my eyes with a most terrified and desperate and depraved look. The dream went on for a little while longer with a constant theme of fear. When I finally woke up I went to the bathroom, did my thing, began walking out the door and glanced at my reflection. Unbelievably I saw my eyes exactly as they were in my dream. I did a double take and took a closer look, and there was no doubt they were the eyes of my beast. I thought for a second that I was still dreaming, but I was no doubt awake. I was spooked to say the least. I even gave my beast a few names. But to sum it all up, I named him absolute fear. I was gonna share this with you a couple days ago after it happened, but I thought you would think I was crazy or in serious need of meds. I probably would have thought the same if I were you and I never dreamt like that. But even it was just a dream, I assure you this was an exact copy/image of my carnal life. In everything that fear does from within and without. If God is truly no respector of persons then Im almost a hundred percent sure maybe some of you have seen his or her beast in some truly terrifing way, that was undeniable to you. I will definately be coming back to read everything Ray has to teach. At least for as long as I have breath in me.  Please pray for me, I will be praying for you all. Forgive me for my judgments against you and my childish display of anger. It really breaks my heart I wont be posting, but it is better this way for now, cause obviously I dont know how to post yet.  I truly hope and pray Im with you all when Jesus returns. Im gonna try an be as close to you all as possible without posting. I truly want to fellowship and be with like minded people, but my shame is too great at this time. God has truly humbled me today, and I thank Him for that. It is my sincerest hope God will drag me back. I hope He hasnt broke me off the vine. But Ive been so judgmental toward you maybe He has. I honestly dont know right now. Hoping not. Anyway Ive rambled enough.

         Your Friend in Christ, George D.

p.s. Each and every one of you has been a true blessing. 
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AK4

  • Guest
Re: My last post
« Reply #1 on: August 04, 2008, 02:16:28 AM »

Patik,

I will put this post in all caps to try to get your attention,

NO, DONT GIVE UP! THAT DREAM YOU HAD IS MORE OF A POSITIVE SIGN THAN NEGATIVE.  THINK ABOUT IT.  YOU GOT TO SEE THE BEAST WITHIN.  NOT EVERYONE GETS TO GET THAT FAR.  YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED NOT CURSED, BLESSED!!!. DONT GIVE UP. NOBODY HERE JUDGES YOU THE WAY YOU THINK WE ARE.  BESIDES WHO ARE WE?.... ARE WE WITHOUT SIN TO CAST THE FIRST STONE? NO NO NO WE ARE NOT... IM NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON BUT HEARING YOU WANTING TO STOP FELLOWSHIPPING, IS ALMOST BRINGING TEARS TO MY EYES... THIS IS VERY STRANGE FOR ME, VERY STRANGE.  DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.  STOP IT!!!

LOOK AT ALL OF US... ALL OF US,  WE'D LOVE BE WHERE RAY IS AT IN UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE...HECK FOR THAT FACT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE WHERE PAUL WAS/IS.  THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS KEEP SEARCHING FOR THAT HIDDEN TREASURE, THAT PEARL.

HECK, I STRUGGLED FOR A LONG TIME IN EXTREME JEALOUSY BECAUSE THIS GUY I KNEW, I WAS FOR SURE, HE HAD THE HOLY SPIRIT.  I WAS SO JEALOUS AND I WONDERED WHY I WAS HAVING THIS JEALOUSY RIGHT.  HE HAD IT AND I DIDNT. JEALOUSY TO THE POINT OF ANGER. 

I QUESTIONED WHY WONT GOD GIVE IT TO ME. WHY GOD, WHY!  I DO THIS AND THAT. I DONT DO THIS OR THAT.  WHY NOT ME LORD! 

LONG STORY SHORT, I KEPT AT IT AND HERE I AM TODAY...STILL WITH A LOOOOOOOOOONG WAY TO GO!

STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF.  THIS IS A LEARNING PROCESS.  WE ALL ARE LEARNING AND GROWING IN JESUS. AND THAT INCLUDES YOU!  YOU! 

INSTEAD OF RUNNING FROM THAT DREAM, LEARN FROM IT OK!

HOPEFULLY THE LORD LET ME TYPE SOMETHING HERE TO HELP YOU,

WE ALL STILL LOVE YOU AND WILL MISS YOU UNTIL THEN,

ANTHONY
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AK4

  • Guest
Re: My last post
« Reply #2 on: August 04, 2008, 02:33:49 AM »

Patik,

here another note.  after reading some of your previous posts it just seems  you feel guilty and ashamed about what happened in your life.  THATS A GOOD THING! And it seems as if you think  some of us on here is without sin now, we finally made it to the finish line.

well nope thats not the case

here is some of the things i am struggling with:
lusting for other women, and this is just in my mind--- i already know i wont act upon it
drinking every night
still cursing-- im struggling to get that under control

i feel like i could go on forever (eonian  ;D)! 

but God has opened my eyes a little bit to some things and i am still closed to ALOT more.

keep fellowshipping, i was very lonely before i found this forum.  i knew all this stuff and had no one to share it with who would even try to listen.  this forum helps me alot i dont feel so alone in this world.  Besides that last post you put helped me realise something and i want to thank God and you for that post.  thank you!!

Just trying to help

Anthony

P.s at least respond back to these post and let me know something.  I would really appreciate it
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Dave in Tenn

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Re: My last post
« Reply #3 on: August 04, 2008, 02:48:53 AM »

Hey George.

I've had some dreams that would curl your hair too in my past.  Some of them had a profound impact on my life and, speaking from the natural, not always a 'positive' one.  I say this knowing that GOD works ALL THINGS for good according to His purpose.

I'm not gifted to interpret your dream nor am I your Lord to tell you what good God is working through it.  All I can do is read and type...and pray.

For the record, I stand by my statement that you have been a blessing to me here.  I pray that you can one day return to being a blessing to me.  But for YOU, I just ask you to remember that Ray is also a person and that you can, in fact, continue a sense of fellowship by keeping up with the teaching that continues to unfold, and renewing you mind in what is here already, and from what you gain on your own keeping those foundational truths in mind to gaurd your heart.

I do love you.  I've never been disappointed in you.  God bless you. 
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Heb 10:32  But you must continue to remember those earlier days, how after you were enlightened you endured a hard and painful struggle.

Heidi

  • Guest
Re: My last post
« Reply #4 on: August 04, 2008, 05:34:37 AM »

Dear Patik

I don't always post, but have been reading the forum almost every day to keep up with the fellowship.  Posting is not everything, being part of like-minded people is what is most important.  I don't care if I never post another thing in this life time.  What matters is that I keep in touch.

PLEASE DON'T STOP READING THIS FORUM.....WHO KNOWS YOU MAY JUST WANT TO ADD A TWO SENTENCE WORTH IN THE FUTURE  ;D

I learn so much from everyone, it is great.

Please don't stop.
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KristaD

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Re: My last post
« Reply #5 on: August 04, 2008, 11:51:06 AM »

I pray that God will bring you back to posting with us soon George. I have truly enjoyed watching you grow in Him and your post have begun to show such a beautiful and pure understanding of the scriptures that I have looked forward to what you have to say. I haven't seen where you have been judgemental but if you feel in your heart that you have and need to repent of that then that is just another way you are growing. May this be a quick sojourn and may you come back to us with many things to show us dear brother. God bless you and your family, we'll be waiting and praying for you. 
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Roy Monis

  • Guest
Re: My last post
« Reply #6 on: August 04, 2008, 12:43:11 PM »

Dear George

I've been trying to answer your PM as I've done on previous occasions but without success and now I know why. This surprises me brother and I see no reason why you are doing this. Anyway you sent me a PM and here is my answer.

Thank you my brother for your kind words, if I have helped to strengthen your faith I am delighted and give all glory to the Lord. If anything of value comes out off this bit of clay it's not from the clay but from God, He is the provider of all. Please don't thank me, thank Him as it is He Who is strengthening your faith.

I fully agree with you that smoking is an addiction that is very difficult to break, but always bear in mind that He within is more powerful than him without, but make no commitment until you are absolutely certain, that's the important point. The fact that you express doubts about your ability to meet the challenge tells me that you are not quite yet ready to make the commitment so lay off till you feel stronger but keep praying.

In my case it was desperation. I didn't give myself time to think or even consider the consequence of failing to keep the commitment. It was a case of all or nothing and God in His mercy worked it in my favour. Praise God! You say, further down, that you don't want anyone to think that you have been singled out for a special revelation. Well the same could be said of me, don't you think? I personally don't think that I was anything special or that I was singled out, what others may think is not for me to judge.

You ask whether I believe that God speaks to us in dreams Well the Bible says He does so who am I to contradict, yes, God speaks to us in dreams. Sometimes the message is clear as crystal, at others a right mix-up. But there again is not the whole Bible when taken literally a real mix-up of, metaphors, symbols and parables. You need spiritual eyes to read these messages and as yet none of us, far as I know, has the same God given gift that He gave Daniel. But we can hopefully read the meaning behind the clearer ones.

What I'm going to tell you now usually comes out the mouth of liars, but, brother I am no liar. It was my dear wife who going back forty years was responsible for bringing me to Christ, not by words but, from what I could see in the way she lived the life of Christ. When I first started reading the Bible with a gradual opening of my spiritual eyes, I began to see my dear wife within the pages I was reading. I want you to believe that because it's true. Anyway that's going off the subject, maybe if at some future date you would like to know more I will tell you all. I was no saint believe me, I was just like you were, Buddhism, out of body experiences, table rapping, autosuggestion and follower of Edgar Casey. I think you'll know about all these. Thanks to my dear wife they are all in the past, overcome.

But now to answer your question. " Does God Speak To Us In Dreams?"  Well I can only give two experiences of recent time in my life. I know that once a person is dead they are dead, there is no consciousness and that the spirit returns to the Father. I believe this because the Bible tells me so. But the Lord has angels as messengers, and I believe He speaks through them. For example the archangel Gabriel appearing to Joseph in a dream at Mary's conception.

Well when the Lord took my dear Alice, I was completely distraught because He had taken an essential part of me with her, my will to live. From 13 stone I dropped to 7, a skeleton. Then I had this dream, I saw no one but heard this most beautiful baritone voice singing a song I'd never heard before and I don't believe it exists. As far as I can remember of the words they went something like this: "Don't weep or be sad, just remember the promise that you'll meet again. There is a time for everything, a time to live and a time to die and this is the time spoken off. But when the storm has blown out, you'll meet again. That's the promise."  Notice it's you not we so it's not Alice speaking.

The second dream was just recently. No singing just this clear voice saying; "Alice says she'll be seeing you again soon." Brother that can't be soon enough, I was overjoyed and am still waiting wondering how soon. OK this was spoken by a messenger but who told the messenger to say "Alice says" because Alice is asleep and could not have given that message to the messenger. My spiritual eyes and hearing are not good enough to discern this as yet perhaps I'm not meant to discern it, who knows?

Have I been singled out for these two marvelous dreams? You can bet your life on it I was and the same applies to you so why should you be backward to come forward with your experience it is for you and you alone so don't be ashamed or embarrassed by it, that is your privilege and why not share it, the yoke will be lighter to bear. Does it really matter to you what others think? This is God's special message for George as mine were for Roy. So lighten your burden brother, I'm listening and if the Lord grants me the ability to help you I'll certainly not delay.

Of course you make sense, it all makes sense. It could be questioned whether or not the Bible makes sense, but when you get into the meat of it it makes more sense than all the combined knowledge of the world. Who would have predicted 2000 years ago that the world would have been as advanced and corrupt as it is today, yet when we read it we see that all the apostles gave fair warning of just this including the Lord Himself. Now that's not rocket science and it can be traced back to Adam and Eve if one cares to take that trouble.

Hope this helps.   

God bless you brother in our joint walk in Christ. 

Love in Christ Jesus.                   So child of God, listen, there will be an end,
                                                    Just trust Him for His Word is true,
                                             Be patient and wait, for in His own good time

                                                  He’ll measure….and bring you through.


Roy UK     
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OBrenda

  • Guest
Re: My last post
« Reply #7 on: August 05, 2008, 07:05:16 PM »

George,

I don't know whether to cry, or knock you upside the head!  You inspired one of the most honest posts that lead to many of us here apologizing to one another! That was truly You being used by God for the edification of the Saints here at BT!  For me strife & missunderstandings happens, the telling sign for me/testing the spirits so to speak, is the capacity to feel empathy for the another when faced with being an instrument of hurt whether or not it was intentional.  To be of the spirit to esteem others as greater than yourself. To be teachable and not a strainer of gnats! To take some personal responsibility of the tongue which can be like a boat rudder that is small but steers and moves the entire boat!  I think some of you get my meaning here... ;)

The more time you fellowship with these extraordinary and down to earth folks here, the more comfortable we become with seeing that beast in the mirror. They will help you to also see Christ working within!

We all here see our beast George, I'd bet a million mine is just as ugly as yours!

You Belong Here, Stop being a silly goose ;D.....In My Not So Humble Pushy Opinion!

With Love & Hugs,
Brenda
« Last Edit: February 16, 2010, 02:56:52 PM by OBrenda »
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