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My last post

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jakfr0s:
  Hi all, I just wanted to let you know that this will be my last post on this forum,unless of course God has a different plan. I want to let you know I have no ill will towards anyone of you, how can I if I have seen the glorious future for all. Im not giving up, no way, no sir! God has dragged me too far. I have experienced miracles I never imagined. Ive just never been quite comfortable posting, ever. I think it shows. It was just a miracle in itself the first time I posted. I think the beast within me showed a little of itself to you. But there is no doubt I have seen my beast in a dream. It only came with almost not stop praying, and I honestly never expected to see what I saw. I knew I was dreaming and I begged God to wake me. But I kid you not I heard a voice that told me "God is in control". I saw alot in this dream, way to hard to explain. Some might say it was just a bad nightmare, and I would have to agree it was the worst nightmare I have ever had. I was truly terrified. Before I saw it, I thought God has woke me up. But I sat up looked to my left, and there was a mirror with my reflection (duh), when I leaned forward to get a better look it was my face but badly disfigured, and very old looking. I seen tears in my eyes with a most terrified and desperate and depraved look. The dream went on for a little while longer with a constant theme of fear. When I finally woke up I went to the bathroom, did my thing, began walking out the door and glanced at my reflection. Unbelievably I saw my eyes exactly as they were in my dream. I did a double take and took a closer look, and there was no doubt they were the eyes of my beast. I thought for a second that I was still dreaming, but I was no doubt awake. I was spooked to say the least. I even gave my beast a few names. But to sum it all up, I named him absolute fear. I was gonna share this with you a couple days ago after it happened, but I thought you would think I was crazy or in serious need of meds. I probably would have thought the same if I were you and I never dreamt like that. But even it was just a dream, I assure you this was an exact copy/image of my carnal life. In everything that fear does from within and without. If God is truly no respector of persons then Im almost a hundred percent sure maybe some of you have seen his or her beast in some truly terrifing way, that was undeniable to you. I will definately be coming back to read everything Ray has to teach. At least for as long as I have breath in me.  Please pray for me, I will be praying for you all. Forgive me for my judgments against you and my childish display of anger. It really breaks my heart I wont be posting, but it is better this way for now, cause obviously I dont know how to post yet.  I truly hope and pray Im with you all when Jesus returns. Im gonna try an be as close to you all as possible without posting. I truly want to fellowship and be with like minded people, but my shame is too great at this time. God has truly humbled me today, and I thank Him for that. It is my sincerest hope God will drag me back. I hope He hasnt broke me off the vine. But Ive been so judgmental toward you maybe He has. I honestly dont know right now. Hoping not. Anyway Ive rambled enough.

         Your Friend in Christ, George D.

p.s. Each and every one of you has been a true blessing. 

AK4:
Patik,

I will put this post in all caps to try to get your attention,

NO, DONT GIVE UP! THAT DREAM YOU HAD IS MORE OF A POSITIVE SIGN THAN NEGATIVE.  THINK ABOUT IT.  YOU GOT TO SEE THE BEAST WITHIN.  NOT EVERYONE GETS TO GET THAT FAR.  YOU HAVE BEEN BLESSED NOT CURSED, BLESSED!!!. DONT GIVE UP. NOBODY HERE JUDGES YOU THE WAY YOU THINK WE ARE.  BESIDES WHO ARE WE?.... ARE WE WITHOUT SIN TO CAST THE FIRST STONE? NO NO NO WE ARE NOT... IM NOT AN EMOTIONAL PERSON BUT HEARING YOU WANTING TO STOP FELLOWSHIPPING, IS ALMOST BRINGING TEARS TO MY EYES... THIS IS VERY STRANGE FOR ME, VERY STRANGE.  DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF.  STOP IT!!!

LOOK AT ALL OF US... ALL OF US,  WE'D LOVE BE WHERE RAY IS AT IN UNDERSTANDING AND KNOWLEDGE...HECK FOR THAT FACT I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE WHERE PAUL WAS/IS.  THE ONLY THING I CAN DO IS KEEP SEARCHING FOR THAT HIDDEN TREASURE, THAT PEARL.

HECK, I STRUGGLED FOR A LONG TIME IN EXTREME JEALOUSY BECAUSE THIS GUY I KNEW, I WAS FOR SURE, HE HAD THE HOLY SPIRIT.  I WAS SO JEALOUS AND I WONDERED WHY I WAS HAVING THIS JEALOUSY RIGHT.  HE HAD IT AND I DIDNT. JEALOUSY TO THE POINT OF ANGER. 

I QUESTIONED WHY WONT GOD GIVE IT TO ME. WHY GOD, WHY!  I DO THIS AND THAT. I DONT DO THIS OR THAT.  WHY NOT ME LORD! 

LONG STORY SHORT, I KEPT AT IT AND HERE I AM TODAY...STILL WITH A LOOOOOOOOOONG WAY TO GO!

STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF.  THIS IS A LEARNING PROCESS.  WE ALL ARE LEARNING AND GROWING IN JESUS. AND THAT INCLUDES YOU!  YOU! 

INSTEAD OF RUNNING FROM THAT DREAM, LEARN FROM IT OK!

HOPEFULLY THE LORD LET ME TYPE SOMETHING HERE TO HELP YOU,

WE ALL STILL LOVE YOU AND WILL MISS YOU UNTIL THEN,

ANTHONY

AK4:
Patik,

here another note.  after reading some of your previous posts it just seems  you feel guilty and ashamed about what happened in your life.  THATS A GOOD THING! And it seems as if you think  some of us on here is without sin now, we finally made it to the finish line.

well nope thats not the case

here is some of the things i am struggling with:
lusting for other women, and this is just in my mind--- i already know i wont act upon it
drinking every night
still cursing-- im struggling to get that under control

i feel like i could go on forever (eonian  ;D)! 

but God has opened my eyes a little bit to some things and i am still closed to ALOT more.

keep fellowshipping, i was very lonely before i found this forum.  i knew all this stuff and had no one to share it with who would even try to listen.  this forum helps me alot i dont feel so alone in this world.  Besides that last post you put helped me realise something and i want to thank God and you for that post.  thank you!!

Just trying to help

Anthony

P.s at least respond back to these post and let me know something.  I would really appreciate it

Dave in Tenn:
Hey George.

I've had some dreams that would curl your hair too in my past.  Some of them had a profound impact on my life and, speaking from the natural, not always a 'positive' one.  I say this knowing that GOD works ALL THINGS for good according to His purpose.

I'm not gifted to interpret your dream nor am I your Lord to tell you what good God is working through it.  All I can do is read and type...and pray.

For the record, I stand by my statement that you have been a blessing to me here.  I pray that you can one day return to being a blessing to me.  But for YOU, I just ask you to remember that Ray is also a person and that you can, in fact, continue a sense of fellowship by keeping up with the teaching that continues to unfold, and renewing you mind in what is here already, and from what you gain on your own keeping those foundational truths in mind to gaurd your heart.

I do love you.  I've never been disappointed in you.  God bless you. 

Heidi:
Dear Patik

I don't always post, but have been reading the forum almost every day to keep up with the fellowship.  Posting is not everything, being part of like-minded people is what is most important.  I don't care if I never post another thing in this life time.  What matters is that I keep in touch.

PLEASE DON'T STOP READING THIS FORUM.....WHO KNOWS YOU MAY JUST WANT TO ADD A TWO SENTENCE WORTH IN THE FUTURE  ;D

I learn so much from everyone, it is great.

Please don't stop.

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