Amrhrasach, I also come from a history of "years of indoctrination" - I was so fervent, so energetic in "spreading the gospel" and conducting "spiritual warfare" and I spent literally HOURS in the Word and in Prayer - I spent ALL my energy trying to understand why God does not do the things He said in His Word He would do.
I cried out for the lives and futures of my loved-ones, pleading with God to rescue them from "hell". He led me to MANY scriptures, the most prominent of which was "No one can come to me unless the Father Himself draw them..."
During this time, I learned to discern His leading in my life - always with scripture. Always.
He finally led me to BT, where I discovered that the "hell" I was begging Him to rescue my family from, DOESN'T EVEN EXIST!
I was physically sick for weeks after that revelation.
Now, my whole purpose for living has been taken from me. I lived for so many years utterly incapable of believing myself to be of any worth to anyone, and then found that through the "gospel" and the fight to save sinners from hell, I could achieve some form of significance in my life.
Now that is gone too, I have nothing left to live for.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH YOUR POST?
this.......human -vs-carnal fight,
What is there to fight? - "...apart from me you can do nothing..." "...for it is God who works in you to will and to do according to His good pleasure..."
I firmly believe that God doesn't want us doing "more", but "less". It is He alone, by His own power and Spirit that will accomplish anything in our lives. He will lead us where He will, through the Word, through experiences, but ultimately
to His Son. There is literally and absolutely NOTHING we can do to help or hinder the process, it will all occur on His schedule and in His own timeframe.
Wether you fear that you will 'lose' the battle or believe that you will win, I think is in itself, irrelevant.
My encouragement to you is this: "don't sweat it" - let God finish the work He began in you, because He is faithful to do it. And you know that, don't you?.
Falgn0n.