Good Morning Richard,
Glad you have joined us and welcome aboard, enjoyed your introduction and it has a familiar ring to it. As Ray has mentioned, we learn and receive THE LIE, the teachings presented by Denominations of Christendom(Free Will, The Trinity, Eternal Hell fire, Separation or Annihilation;etc.) and that Jesus really isn't the Savior of the World(See 1 John. 3:14) and God doesn't really Love us (See 1John. 4:
and that Love does fail in Gods Case(See 1 Corinthians. 13:
. After awhile we notice, when God opens our Spiritual eyes, that there's a contradiction with these things and wonder how could a God thats Love punish his Children forever based on the Sins committed in such a short lifetime, that would reduce the intensity of his Love to Lower than any Human when applying punishment for crimes committed. You mentioned a concern for the Sins you've commited in your life. Remember All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God(Romans. 3:23) and the word Sin is translated from the Greek word Hamartia and literally means: " missing the Mark " and is simply a mistake. Ray mentions that their is a difference between being consumed by Sin contrasted with committing A Sin, see 1 John(Within that Letter).
It's good that you read the Free Will Series, first, because that falsehood leads to other errors, like the ones expressed above. Example: The Free Will advocates will tell you that God is Love, but only in context, based on whether or not a person accepts Gods Love utilizing their so called " Free Will. " Unlike so many people you have met in your life whose Love is conditional, Gods Love is not conditional. He Wills or desires " that NONE PERISH " AND DESIRES ALL ATTAIN TO REPENTANCE " 2Peter. 3:9
In reference to James. 4:7, Pray to God to remove your Carnal Desires, Pray to God to resist the Machinations of the Devil and Remember that the Devil is only doing what he was Created to do, mislead you, continue to Read and meditate on Rays written Transcripts, his Audios and meditate on these things and most importantly, LEAVE EVERYTHING IN GODS HANDS, HE HAS AND WILL TAKE CARE OF THE DEVIL AND EVENTUALLY SAVE HIM, SO GOD IS ALL IN ALL.
Let God take care of everything, afterall, his Spirit led you to Bible-Truths and only He can remove your Carnal Desires. Ray says that God is responsible for everything, but we are accountable. As a suggestion, you read the Free Will Series from the Front page of this Site, Now listen to the Audio on Free Will, it's in two parts.
Glad you are here and looking forward to your fellowship and participation in the days to come and my apologies, if I said too much. Had just got up and was drinking coffee when viewing your introduction and the desire to respond.
Kind Regards, Samson.