You know, some posters here really seem to have a good grasp on Rays teachings, and you Dave, are one of them. Why, despite my continued quest for wisdom, does God not give me the understanding and the words to express it?
Sometimes when I read the posts of others, I feel like maybe I am lost and have no business being here. I know I am where God wants me to be but I've said it before and I'll say it again, sometimes I am completely lost. It's frustrating and sometimes I want to give up.
Hanging in there for now,
Eileen
Friend Eileen,
Having read a few of your post about your own family, I would venture a few comments offered in love but with enough candor to provoke you to pay attention. If you are not ready for this adventure or if you are needing a smoke just now, please stop reading right here and come back when you feel more forgiving of an old man's unsolicited advice.
As I said, offered in love and with the approval of my better half Doris. O.K. ?
= = = =
1. You seem concerned that you are not making progress in your understanding and /or not gaining as much spiritual insight as others on the forum. Personally, I don't see this lack in you. You explain things clearly when the topic is something with which you are familiar, so maybe you need to either be more selective about the topics you address OR even better start a topic yourself and make it something with which you have a deep interest. Let the rest of us benefit from your extensive research or experience in a favorite area of interest. Your college kids for example. Or your husbands dreams for his or the family's future. In other words look outside yourself from your home experiences in the same manner that you do when responding to forum questions. We see you as quite friendly and helpful, but maybe you are selective and only write when you are in a good mood. (smile)
In my own case, I almost always edit carefully before posting, just to be sure my comments are loving, but you will have to make that judgment about this message. (smile) Let me know how well or how poorly I did. Thanks
The other topic I would like to share with you concerns your mention of how often you share forum topics and Ray Smith's teachings with family members who don't seem to appreciate it or can't understand. This is quite normal as I'm sure you know and one piece of advice I would give since you have been trying to teach husband for a few months now, is to give it a break for a whole month, 30 days, and see what happens.
Ask God for help and then focus your attention on your husband's interest, your children's interest and avoid speaking about your new knowledge, your concerns for your former church, your relatives and neighbors who still attend there and so forth.
This approach may present a challenge for you and may become a struggle, but it may also teach you a valuable lesson.
Consider how long you could maintain interest in the new truth you have learned if you were sharing your knowledge in the ladies circle or at the coffee shop with friends. Compare that with the time you spend every day or every week sharing with a captive audience, your family, who can't walk away from the table or change the subject, or make the excuse that they have to get home to do the chores. They may have thought of it, but since you know their plans it's almost as if you had them chained to the chair so that they have to listen.
I'm sure that your husbands loves you and wants to please, but how much of a struggle is it for him to remain polite and act interested when, as you have said, it just isn't getting through to him.
Now maybe I am stepping out of bounds here and maybe I am missing the point you had wanted to share. If so, I hope you will forgive an old man who has made similar efforts to teach my family in the past. What I have since learned is that my example is much more important than my speech or reasoning.
Also, I have the very important and great gift of knowing beyond doubt that my family will all be in God's kingdom and that I will be there to greet them when they are resurrected. This special knowledge gives me peace of mind so that I am able to let them live their lives just as they please, mistakes and all.
Doris and I have four children and my youngest David, lived with his high school sweetheart for a few weeks leading to her becoming pregnant. They split up in an angry fashion and she delivered the baby alone on May 5, 1990. When we found out about the baby we had a DNA test and then accepted our Grandson as our own. For the past 18 years we have helped to raise the boy and he has been in and out of our home and our local schools and suffered quite a lot due to the lack of family unity. There is a lot more to the story but the point I wish to share is that on June 4th of this year he was killed in an auto accident and we sorely miss him.
However, my wife and I are at peace with the situation. Brandon, who was not a member of any church and not a believer, will be in a resurrection and will be in God's family in due time. That is what is important to us.
How he lived and how he died, so young and so early is also a serious loss for us and yet we have the blessed reassurance that his life will continue in the next instant of his consciousness. His mother and her family, the other grandparents, DO NOT have that reassurance. They are strict Catholic and could not accept our beliefs, so they are carrying this burden of regret and the thought that Brandon is in purgatory or hell or limbo waiting for them to make amends for their lack of love or for the mistakes they may have made with him, by not accepting him when he was a baby.
I feel so sorry for them, but I can't help them, I can't explain, they can't receive it, their eyes are blinded.
Some things we cannot change and so we must be satisfied to let God care for the situation in HIS good time even when it concerns family and friends who would give anything to have the burden of guilt removed. What we can do is pray for them and treat them with the full respect of those who are yet to become members of the true church. When God is ready.
I hope this has been a little bit helpful and please let me know if I have said too much.
I'm still learning and I'm only a man ;o)
Love and hugs Indiana Bob