God has really been driving this truth home to me about “no free will”, especially in the last year just by the things that were/are happening in my life.
I am learning I don’t have any power to help myself, to make good things happen in my life, I have no effect on anything/anybody… I can try to be “positive” so good things will come to me, I can tithe until I am green in the face, etc. etc. to no effect. I am completely powerless.
I can quit manipulating, pulling strings, trying to win people’s favor, quit playing church, quit trying to impress God. It is the strangest feeling realizing you have no control over anything. It is all God, you can’t take credit for anything in your life. You literally let go and let Him do it all. And he will not quit making you “miserable” until this very thing happens… you let go and cease from your own works. (Sabbath rest?) I am still trying to enjoy this new found “freedom”; my nature is to be a doer and shaker, work, work, work to win God’s favor. There is nothing I can do in my flesh, I have His favor already because of what Jesus did for me.
"He must increase, but I must decrease" (Jn. 3:30)
“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Rom. 12:1 -2. (Why fight it? He will have His way with me eventually, anyway
.)
“Thou has hemmed me in behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me.” Psalm 139:5 (When God hems you in, try to get out… Good luck!)
“Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence?” Psalm 139:7 (He sees you, sees it all, you cannot hide; so you might as well quit running and acting like there might be a place where He is not.)
I hope I don’t sound weird or disrespectful to God; I am just acknowledging His omnipresence and omniscience. It puts everything I have ever thought and known into a different light…