Steve, lets just say someone I loved very much hurt me. I was having trouble forgiving them. Instead of trusting God when he obviously was taking care of me. I let pride and an unforgiving spirit take over. I was tempted and fail into worse situation then that person. God put up with it way longer then I would have out of me. That, person was always willing to forgive me.
In this experience I learned that I needed not to judge. I needed to forgive. That, I was no better then they were .
The out come. I thought, God could never forgive me and that I should just die and go to Hell. Since, I was always taught in church there is a Hell. Lord, how could I learn to forgive when I could not even see a God who could do it. So, I began to dwell on Hell. I was so upset with the thought of hell that I wished I could die. But, then I feared hell. But, my life became a living hell. Then, next thing I knew I was begging God for truths. That, night I got it. I typed in Hell and I have never been the same. I forgave that person and I am so happy . Not , only that I learned God is control of my life. I learned that from what should have been a near death experience. But, God kept me conscious through it all and showed me plenty of love. I read for three days and nights. I believed every word I read. I knew, without a doubt this was all of God. It made all my problems good and bad throughout my entire life make sense.
I don't doubt God anymore. I am able to forgive better cause I see myself like any other person in need of it. I trust him. I am sick and tired of licking my wounds. I am sick and tired of the pride that I had in not forgiving people. He knocked me down and also picked me up.
I am so happy not to have that unforgiving spirt eating me up . I am so happy he is in control and my fabled free will does not exist. I am so happy that Love Never Fails. I can see now how everyone will learn righteousness when all know truth and have God living in them.
I see a great big God who will not loose any of his sheep. I see a purpose in the evil in the world. I see truth does set us free. Why, should I not forgive we are all the same? Life is a process and its all for our good even when it seems bad. I see, that I am decreasing and God is increasing. Through, this experience he grew me up fast. I thought, I had not been growing at all. Boy, was I wrong. He was working all the time. I see we should never put a person on a pedastal. Only, God belongs there.
I have a long way to go. But, I for sure know that God has accomplished alot with that Beast of mine. But, I also know the Beast likes to rise. I pray that when it does that God knocks it down to size. I suffer daily in physical pain. Days I think , will I make it. He even manages to help me to get to study the Bible and also, that personal time with him was and is always the times I heard him best. That, sin is gone and I have no desire to have it in my life. He corrected me for it and it is gone because I hated it and myself.
In His Love,
Marlene
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Topic: My name is Marlene (Read 7130 times)