bible-truths.com/forums

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Forum related how to's?  Post your questions to the membership.


.

Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: New Husbands  (Read 11407 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Samson

  • Guest
New Husbands
« on: October 01, 2008, 10:02:24 AM »

Good Morning,

                   My Dad sent me this Joke, it should give you all a chuckle.

       
             A store that sells new Husbands has opened in New York City, where a Woman may go to choose a Husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

             
             YOU MAY VISIT THIS STORE ONLY ONCE !

            There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building !

            So, a Woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

             FLOOR 1- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS.

                            She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

             FLOOR 2- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS AND LOVE KIDS.

                            That's nice, she thinks, but I want more.

                             So she continues upward.

                              The third floor sign reads:

             FLOOR 3- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, AND ARE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING.

             Wow, she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

              She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

             FLOOR 4- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GOOD LOOKING AND HELP WITH HOUSEWORK.

              Oh, mercy me! she exclaims, I can hardly stand it !

               Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

             FLOOR 5- THESE MEN HAVE JOBS, LOVE KIDS, ARE DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS, HELP WITH HOUSEWORK, AND HAVE A STRONG ROMANTIC STREAK.

               she is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

             FLOOR 6- YOU ARE VISITOR 31,456,012 TO THIS FLOOR. THERE ARE NO MEN ON THIS FLOOR. THIS FLOOR EXISTS SOLELY AS PROOF THAT WOMEN ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO PLEASE. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT THE HUSBAND STORE.



                 Remember, it's only a joke; ;D ;) ::), Samson.

             
           
Logged

Dennis Vogel

  • Administrator
  • Bible-Truths Forum Member
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3328
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2008, 10:31:33 AM »

Over 30 years ago Ray told me about a man who spent years looking for the perfect woman and he finally found her. But he did not marry her. Know why? She was looking for the perfect man.

Dennis
« Last Edit: October 01, 2008, 10:35:31 AM by Dennis Vogel »
Logged

mharrell08

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2008, 10:40:57 AM »

LOL  :D
Logged

OBrenda

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2008, 12:29:15 PM »

Really Really Funny... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Logged

Sirach

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2008, 01:00:51 PM »

Comon Samson...this is not a joke...this must be a true story  :D
Logged

aqrinc

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2008, 01:34:00 PM »

Hi Brenda,

I think it's funny but my Boss er Wife  >:( has the skillet out taking warm-up swings.

LOL, Geo.  ???

Really Really Funny... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Logged

OBrenda

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2008, 03:56:00 PM »

Hi Brenda,

I think it's funny but my Boss er Wife >:( has the skillet out taking warm swings.

LOL, Geo.  ???

Really Really Funny... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

I know I may get myself in hot water here, but what the hey.....

I think this was very funny, but it was written by a man.

Why do I say this?   
Because the least important aspect of a man {from a woman} is his appearance!
That should have been floor one.  I can look at a handsome man, and after listening to him for two minutes forget it.  ::)  You gotta have more going for you than good looks. Most Women have different eyes, and they respect things in men, that men don't respect in each other.  If we find in a Man, virtues we can Respect & Admire, we actually see him as drop dead gorgeous!

You guy's really do think we are hard to please, while there is some truth to that, mostly it's that you don't understand what we want.
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D (someone to move the furniture around) lol
Peace To My Brothers

« Last Edit: October 01, 2008, 03:57:12 PM by OBrenda »
Logged

Samson

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2008, 04:40:37 PM »

Ha Ha Brenda,

                   I say, IS THERE A MAN OUT THERE THAT UNDERSTANDS A W--O--M--A--N OR WHAT SHE WANTS, HEAR YE HEAR YE, IS THERE SUCH A ONE(Not Jesus either ladies) & it certainly ain't one of those HOMINIDS, either.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.

                   OH OH OH BRENDA, I'M IN TROUBLE NOW, EXIT STAGE LEFT AND HURRY.

                                Only in love, Samson.

      P.S. Brenda, Hosp ital direct # for Pam: 610-250-8564, go for it.
Logged

Dianne

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2008, 05:14:06 PM »

Brenda, did you hit the nail on the head or what!! ::)

Dianne
Logged

musicman

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2008, 05:34:35 PM »

I wouldn't be able to find a wife in such a place.  Because the second I walk in, I'd notice, hey, every lady in here can't stay out of a shopping center.  Why can't I find a gal who despises being in these places.  They would say, hey wait, on the third floor you can find a wife that will clean, cook, let you watch sports. .. . whereas I would cut the sailsman off and say. yeah right, once she gets a hold of my credit card, she'll be right back here. 
Logged

OBrenda

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2008, 05:45:25 PM »

I wouldn't be able to find a wife in such a place.  Because the second I walk in, I'd notice, hey, every lady in here can't stay out of a shopping center.  Why can't I find a gal who despises being in these places.  They would say, hey wait, on the third floor you can find a wife that will clean, cook, let you watch sports. .. . whereas I would cut the sailsman off and say. yeah right, once she gets a hold of my credit card, she'll be right back here. 

Ah Hummmm...Where you looking for a Mommy or a Wife?? ???

Were do you think the Beer, Chips, T.V. Set, Dinner, Cleaning Supplies, Pot & Pans, and Lazy Boy Chair came from...?
Honestly Girls, these guy's think everything grows in trees....Let's bring them some fruit to eat.... ;D ;D ;D ;D

Logged

aqrinc

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #11 on: October 01, 2008, 06:36:36 PM »

Just so you all know, i make all the big  :-\ decisions in my home. We have been married for 34+ years and never had a problem, LOL  :o, as long as i said yes. Guys the big secret (Yes Dearest) works 99 percent of the time  ???. The other 1 percent just beg  :P; oh btw last time we had a big decision was 34+ years ago. Oh and take out the trash and keep the seat down, In a nutshell the secrets of a happily  8) married man.

Geo.  :)  ;D  :D
Logged

Martinez

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #12 on: October 01, 2008, 09:40:05 PM »

Ha Ha Brenda,

                   I say, IS THERE A MAN OUT THERE THAT UNDERSTANDS A W--O--M--A--N OR WHAT SHE WANTS, HEAR YE HEAR YE, IS THERE SUCH A ONE(Not Jesus either ladies) & it certainly ain't one of those HOMINIDS, either.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.

                   OH OH OH BRENDA, I'M IN TROUBLE NOW, EXIT STAGE LEFT AND HURRY.

                                Only in love, Samson.

      P.S. Brenda, Hosp ital direct # for Pam: 610-250-8564, go for it.


In my experience, it's generally pretty difficult to know what a woman wants, when they don't really even seem to know either.

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my underground bunker!
Logged

Samson

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #13 on: October 01, 2008, 09:51:34 PM »

Ha Ha Brenda,

                   I say, IS THERE A MAN OUT THERE THAT UNDERSTANDS A W--O--M--A--N OR WHAT SHE WANTS, HEAR YE HEAR YE, IS THERE SUCH A ONE(Not Jesus either ladies) & it certainly ain't one of those HOMINIDS, either.  ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D.

                   OH OH OH BRENDA, I'M IN TROUBLE NOW, EXIT STAGE LEFT AND HURRY.

                                Only in love, Samson.

      P.S. Brenda, Hosp ital direct # for Pam: 610-250-8564, go for it.


In my experience, it's generally pretty difficult to know what a woman wants, when they don't really even seem to know either.

If anyone wants me, I'll be in my underground bunker!

Well Said Martinez,

                            Also, touche, did I spell that correctly. Admittedly, I have a good wife that seems to appreciate the differences between The Martians and The Venetians. She's a gem, sometimes I'm a jerk, but I suppose there's hope for us Guys. We have a pretty good role model, Our Lord Jesus Christ, add to that prayer and someday we will get it together, it's Gods Will.  ;)

                                                  Any room in that bunker;  ;D Samson.
Logged

dogcombat

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #14 on: October 02, 2008, 11:49:35 AM »

To quote Tom Netherton (Of the Lawrence Welk Show)

"It's better to have loved and lost, than to be married and bossed."
Ches
Logged

Samson

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #15 on: October 02, 2008, 12:45:13 PM »

To quote Tom Netherton (Of the Lawrence Welk Show)

"It's better to have loved and lost, than to be married and bossed."
Ches

Hey Ches,

               Thats pretty funny, but I have an EX- Mother-in-law that does a good job of trying to boss people around, even me.

                                            Samson.  ::) ::) ::)
Logged

Richard D

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #16 on: October 02, 2008, 03:15:06 PM »

Now, we all see why God wants to destroy our carnal minds…….. LOL.  :)

                                In His Love. Richard
Logged

OBrenda

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #17 on: October 02, 2008, 03:51:20 PM »

Diane,

These guy's are having way to much fun with Samson.  Let's go shopping while there being so cute....
 ;D  We're gonna start on a new wardrobe for Pam... ;)

Yes we are hopelessly silly blowing of steam during "Recess"....when the bell rings no more fun!   :P

Hey I think Richard took my twinkees  ;)
Logged

dogcombat

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #18 on: October 02, 2008, 04:14:13 PM »

Samson 

Quote
Hey Ches,

               Thats pretty funny, but I have an EX- Mother-in-law that does a good job of trying to boss people around, even me.

                                            Samson.   


I have this quote from the preacher in "Blazing Saddles":  "Son, you're on your own. ;)

Ches
Logged

aqrinc

  • Guest
Re: New Husbands
« Reply #19 on: October 02, 2008, 04:22:01 PM »

And i have this quote from my Best half:

You do that, you had better learn how to sleep with one eye open.

Geo.

Samson 

Quote
Hey Ches,

               Thats pretty funny, but I have an EX- Mother-in-law that does a good job of trying to boss people around, even me.

                                            Samson.   


I have this quote from the preacher in "Blazing Saddles":  "Son, you're on your own. ;)

Ches
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
 

Page created in 0.029 seconds with 21 queries.