Al Bundy of Married with Children:
Peg: Well Al, you know what we say in Wanker County?
Al: Nothing spells loven like marrying your cousin?
Peg: Al, would you ever cheat on me?
Al: No Peg, why go out for milk when I have the cow at home?
(Old high school buddies ask Al how he keeps in shape)
Al: Running from Peg on sex nights.
(When posed with the proposition of having future new born sleeping at the foot of his bed)Al: I would rather sleep on a bunk bed under Oprah, I would rather engage in a frolicking threesome with Rozanne and her cool husband, I would rather play naked twister with every one of the golden girls, than have that screaming little duty geyser at the foot of my bed.
Al: At the nudy bar, where the beer gives you gas but the bundys kick a@@,,,,at the nudy bar.
(Al entertains children tied up in shoe store on Christmas Eve)
Al: Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
No food was a stirring, not even a mouse,
The stockings were hung around dad's neck like a tie,
Along with a note that said presents or die.
(Scene change)
Then all of a sudden, Santa appeared,
A sneer in his face, booze in his beard,
Santa I said as he laughed merrily,
You do so much for others, do something for me?
Bundy he said, you only sell shoes,
Your son is a sneak thief, your daughter's a fleuz,
Ho ho Santa said, shall I mention your wife?
Her hair's like an A-bomb, her nail's like a knife,
He turned to the chimney, that fat piece of dung,
He mooned me two times, he stuck out his tongue,
Then I heard him exclaim, as he broke wind with glee,
When you're married with children, you'll never be free.
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Topic: Favorite TV or Movie Lines (Read 15986 times)