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Christmas
EKnight:
Ay yi yi. The thought of giving a blank check over to my husband makes my stomach churn. He is most wasteful. Besides, he would only consider that a burden and resent me for it.
I understand your thoughts Dennis on being manipulative and controlling but my kids are adults. At this point in their lives, they shouldn't be worried about their peers. I guess I just don't want the feelings of guilt when I spend the money to fulfill their carnal desires. You know?
Eileen
Kat:
Hi Eileen,
Each family has there own set of circumstances that makes it unique. Nobody can know exactly what is right for someone else.
But I had developed much of the same feelings you had about Christmas before coming to the Truth. I already was aware that Christmas was pagn, but had not embraced that in my spirit and was very involved in all the clamor. I was so relieved and was conviction that for me personally I should not be involved in it any more. My girls at that time were in there upper teens and I felt they could handle my decision.
It is a tenuous arrangement we have now. I told them I was not going to participate; not put up a tree, not buy gifts, not decorate. But they could do as they liked for themselves and I would not interfere. So they do carry on without me and put up a tree and get each other gifts.
They may resent me a bit for pulling out on them, but there is not much they can say, because our family is a lot like your family and they have a lot of things. So I don't get involved, but it's mainly with the gift giving and decorating. I do help with a special meal and I will talk with them about what they are getting each other, I try not to make them think I feel superior or anything like that. We don't live near my extended family and had been staying home for years, so that was not a problem.
It's what you can make work for you and your family. If your children are like mine, when you start cutting back on the materialism they won't like it a bit. So you do what you think will work, a compromise at this point is not a bad idea.
mercy, peace and love
Kat
Dennis Vogel:
--- Quote from: EKnight on October 19, 2008, 03:54:51 PM ---Ay yi yi. The thought of giving a blank check over to my husband makes my stomach churn. He is most wasteful. Besides, he would only consider that a burden and resent me for it.
I understand your thoughts Dennis on being manipulative and controlling but my kids are adults. At this point in their lives, they shouldn't be worried about their peers. I guess I just don't want the feelings of guilt when I spend the money to fulfill their carnal desires. You know?
Eileen
--- End quote ---
Oh, well, that's different, my kids are grown too and they don't get squat. I didn't suggest a blank check. I don't see any check unless there are grandchildren.
EKnight:
Yes Kat, I agree. I don't think I can pull the rug from right beneath them in one swoop. I mean, I had every intention of getting a tree because I love the scent. And I will decorate because a lot of the decorations have personal family meaning. I just want to pull away from the material side of this holiday. The side that the rest of the world emphasizes......buy buy buy! I can't stand the "laundry list" of things to buy. Here is my list, now go buy it for me. Ugh!!!!
If it is a time of giving to those less fortunate, I am all for it. I know this should be done throughout the year and for the most part, I do that. And I enjoy getting together with family, I value the people in my life but I don't want things anymore and I want my kids to understand that the flesh profits nothing. I've always tried to tell them that but my actions (overspending at Christmas and Birthdays) has not demonstrated it to them. And for that I am sorry. :-[
Thanks for bearing with me on this topic.
Eileen
Marlene:
Hello All: I can't tell anyone how to make there own personal decision. All, I can say is that for sometime I have been thinking Christmas has become all about money and less about Love. I have thought this long before joining in this believe.I think like Dennis in Col 2:16 To me there is worse things then this. If we know our true motive. To me the worse thing I ever believed was my believe that there is a Hell. Well, I had to repent of my believe of my Dear Lord and Saviors Character. He was born in a manger and without that birth we would have had no beginning of freedom from our sins. I know they say he was not born in Dec. I think the early christians choose this date to try and take away from the pagan holiday. I never have had christmas thinking of a Pagan worship.God is the Judge of mans heart not us.
This year we have decided no gifts with my husbands family. No gifts for my side either. My husband and I never had chidren. Although we bought for his family an my family who did have children.
I want to share how Christmas affected me. My Father and I would get the decorations down after Thanksgiving. My mother always cooked the meal. We did not have alot of money. But, over the years I saw my parents give me what the could afford. I loved Christmas as a child cause of the decorations and how they gave life to the winter time. I enjoyed so much spending time with my family. Even, I had made it kind of materialistic.
A few years before, I came on here the Lord showed me that people had made this more a material thing. He showed me it is just another day. But, I believe God knows what we make it from our heart. I know it has been a special family time together.
I believe there is no Greater thing then LOVE. My father was disabled , when he was 47. I got to have him home while I was in Junior High and High School.
I grew very close to him at that time. Both of my parents taught me good morals.
I once told my father not to die at Christmas. His Mother did and I saw it made him sad. However, we still had Christmas. I told him if you die at Christmas I will hate it forever. He said, " Please don't do that."
My father had to go into the nursing home in 1990. It was the hardest thing for my mother to do. They had celebrated there 50th wedding anniversary in Oct.
He was not well at all.
Now, for how Christmas of 1993 changed my life. My father had been in the nuring home for three years. Those three years were one of the hardest times of my life. When, I would go to the nursing home he would not know who I was. I was the baby of the family and spent alot of time with him. He would remember my husband, but not me. I felt like an outsider. I got to where I hated to go, but I would go.
In Nov. of 1993 , My husband and I went down to see him cause I had a dentist apointment. My mother was out of town to see a doctor. I bought him some peanut butter crackers and pineapple juice. Not knowing how he would treat me. Anyways, I went in and said " Dad would you like some crackers and pineapple. He said," Sure open them up Marlene." We had bought a house in 1989 and we wanted to bring him to our town to see it ,but he got too ill. That very same day. He said,"Marlene I never did get to see your house." Needless to say I was so happy this day.
In Dec. 19 my mother came up and stayed with us to get him some things he needed for Christmas. She always feels guilty that she was not there the night they called and said "that they were taking him to the hospital." She saw him everyday and spent most of her time with him everyday.The hospital was in another town. When, we got down there they said,"He probably would not make it through the night. When, we went in he asked, "Why do you all look so sad." ? I said "Dad we all love you". He told each and everyone of us that he loved us. He knew me even on his death bed. Praise be to God. He went into a coma. His minister came in and read him the story of the birth of christ and he squeezed his hand. My father passed away on the 20th. God gave me this greatest gift of love anyone could have had. He knew me in Nov. and Dec. He knew the story of the birth of christ in his coma. Well, now I know that I am blessed to know that Christmas is what you make it. I make it as a time to LOVE and not a time of just what one gets. Love is the greatest gift anyone ever got , when Christ came as a baby, knowing he would give us all the free gift of Life. That is the Good News !!!!!!!! His gift keeps on giving and is for all!
In His Love
Marlene
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