my dear brother darren,
heidi can identify. so can i. reading your post is like looking in the mirror at myself for the past 12 yrs. i suffer from chronic back pain due to bulging discs, degenerative disc disease, and a slight crack in one of my cervical discs. i suffer from fibromyalgia and radiculopathy (chronic pain in my radicular nerve running across my buttocks down my left leg all the way to the ankle). i started out on vidodin (hydrocodone). then, my rheumatologist added ultram. keep in mind i got to the point where i was taking at least 6-8 vicodin daily (10mg) and up to 6-8 ultram a day. my rheumatologist stopped practicing and referred me to a pain clinic (specifically for the fibromyalgia). the pain dr. said he wanted me to get an mri of my cervical and lumbar spine to see if there was anything else going on. that is when he discovered the bulging disc, cracked disc, and the degenerative disc disease. an emg showed the nerve damage. so, the pain dr. kept me on the vicodin, stopped the ultram, and scheduled me for the first of many, many, many procedures to inject this that and the other into the space between my discs, and i even had procedures to deaden/kill the nerve(s) which were causing me problems. of course, the nerves would regenerate themselves in about 4-6mths. so then, we would do it all over again. one time i ran out of the vicodin before it was time to refill the script so i had to wait for the time to pass before refilling it. suffice it to say, i went through a living hell. i wasn't sure what was going on because i couldn't control my breathing, i was having anxiety attacks, i couldn't sleep or eat. truly like a junkie going through withdrawals. i had my husband take me into the pain clinic to see my dr. (without an appt.). he took one look at me and kind of chuckled and said that i was "just" going through withdrawals. i couldn't believe his lax attitude towards my situation. anyway, he said i just needed to get the vicodin back into my system, so there i went again, back on the vicodin. plus, he said i needed something that would give me a continual dose of meds in my system, so he put me on the fentanyl patch. needless to say i was feeling much better within a few days, BUT, i was only masking the pain and the physical problems in my spine, not to mention the fibromyalgia. actually, the paid dr. never mentioned the fibromyalgia again. he only started focusing on the spine problems. well, after much thought and prayer i opted to titrate down off the vicodin and the pain patch. i did it slowly so that there was no withdrawal, BUT, i found that my pain came back raging it's ugly head so that i had no quality of daily living. so, my pain dr. opted to try every other medication in the book. i was on topomax (actually a seizure med) which i hated and quit taking which put me in the emergency room. i started hallucinating and thought i was going into seizure mode. i was on ghb (the presciption formula of the date-rape drug), back on the pain patch, back on vicodin, on morphine, methadone. actually, the only opiate i never was given was oxycontin. not sure how they missed that one. anyway, i got to a point where i knew i had to get off the heavy pain meds. my daughter was very much against them, my family was concerned, and i was scared thinking what they were doing to my internal organs. i thought about the scripture too which says our body is the temple of God. but, i thought that many times God works through medications. so to say the least, i was confused. i knew if i got totally off the pain meds that i would most likely be miserable. but i knew that something had to change. with the pain meds i found myself doing things that ended up making my physical ailments worse because i thought, well i feel no pain so i can go ahead and do such and such. stupid, stupid, stupid logic. with the help of God and with common sense regarding coming off the pain meds SLOWLY, i now only take one prescription med for the fibromyalgia which also helps with my nerve pain. it is called lyrica. i also take cymbalta for depression/pain. that's it. no opiates. NONE. i see a (gentle)chiropractor who is also a holistic dr. she has reviewed my medical history and has put my on several different supplements. i did run out of my lyrica before i got my mail order refill and you guessed it, i started going into withdrawal. couldn't get out of bed for 3 days, couldn't sleep, eat, visit the forum, study the scriptures. nada. but that was my mistake. once i got my lyrica and started taking it again i started feeling much better. i didn't take my supplements during those 3 days because i am supposed to take them with food and i wasn't eating. i no longer go to the pain clinic because i feel that for the most part, pain clinics generally only treat your symptoms (with ALL kind of heavy duty drugs), they do not address the underlying problems causing the chronic pain. at least that is how my pain clinic operated. i see my regular dr. who prescribed the lyrica and the cymbalta. as long as i take my meds as prescribed, eat healthy, take my supplements, and see my chiropractor regularly i can lead a satisfactory life. i keep in mind that it is ALL of God's will and purpose for my life. darren, please, please DO NOT go cold turkey from your pain meds. i don't know which ones you are taking specifically, but i DO KNOW that you need to come down off them slowly. very slowly. even if you end up still taking a pain med does not mean you have failed at ANYTHING. if your back injury problem is still with you, then you need help with it. i don't know what extent your back injury was or what was done for it other than the heavy pain meds. your desire to "clean house" so to speak of the pollutants is a noble and honorable desire. but you have to do it smart. if you see your dr. regularly you must tell him of your desire to come off the drugs. he should be more than happy to help you. and if he isn't willing to help you, then you need to get another opinion asap! in order to go through detox alone, in your room, with no help from anyone other than God, your faith darren MUST be deeply, deeply rooted and grounded. i am NOT saying that yours is not. i am saying that i too had been studying ray's teachings and the scriptures and i when i went through withdrawals and detox i LOST my grip on reality in a major way. i pray you are able to read my reply to your post before you shut you bedroom door and try to detox alone. i will pray for you without ceasing that God's will be done in your life, and that He will provide the way for you to rid your body of the pollutants that your body is now dependent upon/addicted to. He will show you the way to freedom from the prison your body is in. He is already suffering with you. He can heal you. He is your comfortor, your courage, and your strength. you MUST not do this cold turkey. i have been there and it was the hardest thing i have ever done thus far. harder than the breast cancer, surgery, and radiation i went through 8 yrs ago. please pm me if you ever want to darren.
love in Christ Jesus our Saviour brother,
claudia
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Topic: the whole truth and nothing but the truth. (Read 6176 times)