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[Beloved]

Everywhere I turn I see something absurb...How does got put up with us. This is a place to post your observations on things.

I will start with an observation I had yesterday, so I put this together. I expect a nasty letter from Penguin the Publisher.
In addition I apologize to anyone who have bought any of these books I mean no harm.

Yesterday I was doing a search on something and came across a preview of a New Idiots Guide, then I went to Penquin.the publisher and  found more books to ponder> Here is a link if you think you wan to buy one for yourself or family members

http://books.google.com/books?id=Qvm0L5VCAMwC&pg=PA156&lpg=PA156&dq=recirculated+atoms+and+life&source=web&ots=oGldoN02vS&sig=XS5QvoKJU2h8igv6DwKU5XQ0P9I&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=3&ct=result

The Complete Idiots Guide to Submarines

Who out there thinks it is a good idea for idiots to be operating these things, Why are they giving this information to other idiots.


http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780028643083,00.html?La_Guia_de_la_Vida:_Sexo_Maravilloso_Sari_Locker

La Guia de la Vida: Sexo Maravilloso

The Hispanic knows how to have sex, they are reproducing quite well… Why don’t they  not offer this to other ethnic groups who also may want to have marvelous sex.


beloeved

[Beloved]

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781440653391,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Self-Testing_Your_Personality_Arlene_Matthews_Uhl

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Self-Testing Your Personality

You are an idiot with an idiots personality  that is why this book is perfect for you

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436269339,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Weird_Word_Origins_Paul_McFedries

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Weird Word Origins

Idiot" was originally created to refer to "layman, person lacking professional skill", "person so mentally deficient as to be incapable of ordinary reasoning".[6][7] Declining to take part in public life, such as democratic government of the polis (city state), such as the Athenian democracy, was considered dishonorable. "Idiots" were seen as having bad judgment in public and political matters     Do not let the Political parties hear this…oh I forgot they are idiots too.

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781592577675,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Mindfulness_Anne_Ihnen,_MA,_LMHC
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Mindfulness

This goes without saying….should be a best seller You have keep an eyes on the mind, it is a terrible thing to waste.

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436299336,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Understanding_Intelligent_Design_Christopher_Carlisle,_M.Div
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Intelligent Design

God has a purpose for all the idiots of the world

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436266437,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Christian_Mysteries_Ron_Benrey

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Christian Mysteries

Now here is where your will get introuble….way too complex for any pea brains trying to understand it from a carnal view

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781592577071,00.html

The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Catholic Catechism

Wow a special book for specific idiots

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781440652080,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_2012_Synthia_Andrews

The Complete Idiot's Guide to 2012

Okay there are a whole bunch of idiots who have decided to go the Mayan way


http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436291095,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Middle_East_Conflict,_4th_Edition_Mitchell_G._Bard,_Ph.D.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Middle East Conflict

This should be manadatory reading for the submarine idiots and all politicians.

[Longhorn]

I saw the word Idiot and I had an urge to respond.  Don't have nuffing to say, but im prety sure I will think of something here in a minute.  Get back to ya later, I have to go pull some ticks off my mules butt.

Love in Christ

Longhorn

[Beloved]

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Self-Testing Your IQ

Idiots of the world ..DO NOT DO THIS IT WILL HURT your brain

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781440651984,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_the_Science_of_Everything_Steve_Miller

The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Science of Everything

This you should be able to handle,  it is a piece of cake   

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436242707,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_String_Theory_George_Musser

The Complete Idiot's Guide to String Theory

This book is neat it come with a big ball of yarn to practice with

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436230599,00.html?The_Pocket_Idiot's_Guide_to_Your_Carbon_Footprint_Nancy_S._Grant

The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Your Carbon Footprint

Notice it is a pocket guide, a book to show you how to clean your feet before going inside

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436299329,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Extreme_Weather_Julie_Bologna

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Extreme Weather

Hint do not go out into any extreme weather, and wipe your feet when you get home

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781592571857,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Understanding_Einstein,_2nd_Edition_Gary_F._Moring

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding Einstein, 2nd Edition

Come on guys, this guy will be boring, this is the second edition because it wasn't easy the first time your tried.

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781592571376,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Science_Fair_Projects_Nancy_K._O'Leary

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Science Fair Projects

Okay this one is do-able, put a potato in a bowl and watch it grow

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780028642420,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Theories_of_the_Universe_Gary_F._Moring

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Theories of the Universe

You will need a bottle of aspirins, also do not forget to use the ball of yarn where indicated

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780786529179,00.html?Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Astronomy,_2E_Christopher_De_Pree

Complete Idiot's Guide to Astronomy

Yes those shiny things up there in the sky have names…not just blinky and twinky

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780786529735,00.html?Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Astrology,_2E_Lisa_Lenard

Complete Idiot's Guide to Astrology

This is fool proof, you get to make up things about people based on what twinky and blinky are doing

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9780786531554,00.html?Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Decoding_Your_Genes_Linda_Tagliaferro

Complete Idiot's Guide to Decoding Your Genes

Leave your jeans alone and take your hands out of your pockets   

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436299053,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Understanding_the_Brain_Arthur_S._Bard

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Understanding the Brain

It is best to take this out of the bony packet to work on it

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781436212885,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_Picture_Puzzles_The_Staff_of_Alpha_Books

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Picture Puzzles

Now this is a very good,  Avoid those with a gozillion pieces…there is always one piece missing.

http://us.penguingroup.com/nf/Book/BookDisplay/0,,9781592576944,00.html?The_Complete_Idiot's_Guide_to_the_Power_of_the_Enneagram_Herb_Pearce,_M._Ed.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to the Power of the Enneagram

The enneagram system has been used for decades to help people understand their strengths and weaknesses, heal neuroses and inner conflicts, enhance creativity, strengthen team building in the workplace, and aid in couples therapy. This guide takes the mystery and complexity out of this rich system of analysis and allows anyone to benefit from its useful insights

They always want to push the envelope   Oh heck you do not need this one either   

Just play nice with other people and always thank God for holding your world together and providing for your need.

Okay that is the end of my satire with Penguin Publishes, I wonder did the ACLU every sue them of thier inflammatory use of this word against the mentally challenged calling their book guides for the Complete Idiot... 

beloved

[Dave in Tenn]

Sounds like they need a Complete Idiot's Guide to Complete Idiocy.  On second thought, that would kill the concept and the cash cow.

[Beloved]

  Okay Longhorn I went and found some for you   


The Complete Idiot's Guide to Country Living
                  I do not know if it pro or con book,I never saw one on City living

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Trees and Shrubs
                  This one is a must read for those buy the above book   

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Backyard Adventures
                  I guess they do not want the idiots to wander too far from home

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Horseback Riding
                             Just in case you have forgotten something

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Coping with Difficult People
                                That includes most of the world

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Working Less, Earning More
                                   red]I think they messed up the title to fool us[/color]

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Breaking Bad Habits
                          We all have these, so lets get started on this

The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Being a Groom  
                  Should you ever decide to pledge your Troth again 

The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Bartending
              This is a good backup career plan that will come in handy

I do not know why but there was not a guide for living with a pet buzzard, but you could keep a journal about your adventure, you never know...they might take you up on publishing it.

beloved

[aqrinc]

Beloved what is to become of you . 

  A Star is Born 

How about: the complete idiots guide to not reading the complete idiots guide for complete idiots.   

You know there are not that many searching:  Results 1 - 10 of about 2,330,000 for complete idiots guide. (0.12 seconds)
oh oh that is this month only on google 11-2-08. Guess there are many searches 2,330,000 x 15 = 34,950,000 complete idiots
in november alone. We really are in trouble if you extend that out to i year and include the 3/4, 1/2 and 1/4 idiot searchers.
My durn calculater ran out of numbers and i stubbed one of my pinky  toes so i cannot properly count the idiots 

george. LMIAO ROTF 

[Beloved]

George I like that title..really snappy

How about: the complete idiots guide to not reading the complete idiots guide for complete idiots

regarding counting them ...Yes the world if full of them, and many are voting this month.

Ya just got to love All the idiots..... God does

beloved

[Beloved]

Here is a good educational site

http://www.brunching.com/idiotpizza.html

beloved

[aqrinc]

Beloved,

You know we can call them idiots; because they are our idiots. Anyone else who does is spoiling for a fight which they cannot
win. Here is what i have to say about it: http://forums.bible-truths.com/index.php/topic,8612.msg70918.html#msg70918

george.

[Craig]

Don't be too hard on Penguin, I'm trying to get an "Idiots Guide to Managing a Forum" published.

Craig

[aqrinc]

oh my,

This is a job for longhorn, he knows about barns.

excerpt from: The Complete and Utter Idiot's Guide to Ordering Pizza

You know, I'm gonna play a hunch here. Open your front door. Front door. The door in the front. It leads to outside.
There ya go. Look down. See that pile of large, yellowish books sitting there? Those are phone books. Pick one up
and bring it inside.

Now, open the.. why is the front door wide open? Were you born in a barn? Close the door! Now, find a pizza delivery
service in the phone book.

You've got that lost look on your face again.

Open the book and flip to the P's. Why are you giggling? Open the book. Go on. Find the P's. Stop giggling. No, those
are the M's. Close, but definitely wrong. Keep going. N. O. P. Stop! Stop right there!

Okay, now find Pizza. A listing, not an actual pizza. You're not going to find actual pizza stuffed between the pages
of the phone book. Stop right there! You found it! Pizza! What's the phone number? Don't lose it! Find the phone!
Find the phone! Where'd you leave it? Didn't you mark the spot, I told you to mark the spot, what'd you mark the spot with?

george.

[aqrinc]

Craig,

You simply must control that Temper, maybe a course in cat herding would help for the forum management.

george.

Don't be too hard on Penguin, I'm trying to get an "Idiots Guide to Managing a Forum" published.

Craig

[Samson]

Don't be too hard on Penguin, I'm trying to get an "Idiots Guide to Managing a Forum" published.

Craig

             Since your dealing with imperfect Humans on a daily basis at this Site, an Idiots guide
             won't suffice, you'll have to rely on the counsel found at Matthew. 6:34,  


                                      Kind Regards, Samson.

[iris]

Here is a good educational site

http://www.brunching.com/idiotpizza.html

beloved

ahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah
 


Iris

[Ninny]

How did I miss this informative thread yesterday??? I have been laughing for the last 15 min! Ha! Beloved this is great! Thanks for the laughs! Don't get george and longhorn started are you NUTS?? You even woke Craig up!
Kathy

[martincisneros]

Sounds like they need a Complete Idiot's Guide to Complete Idiocy.  On second thought, that would kill the concept and the cash cow.

No, it wouldn't.  It would be the absolute best seller yet because of the human tendency to point the finger at everybody else and to say that it's them and not me.  Jim Carey and Robin Williams could collaborate on writing the foreword.  That alone would make it worth the price of the book

[Beloved]

Yeah but when they pointed their finger , four fingers would be pointing back to themselves   

I agree it would be a best seller

When you open the book, on the first page would be a metallic shiny mirror....just so they would know who the book was written for.

beloved.

[Longhorn]

We need more informative threads like this un.  Iv'e learnt more in 3 days than i have in all my years of schooling.  Can't Yap to long today, I just received my " How to be a veterinarian (that means animal doctor to yall lay people) in 10 easy steps" in the mail.  Im 1/2 way finished with step 1.  How to get Bessy the cow to produce milk when she don't want to, and your hands are cold.

p.s.  I'll let you know how step 1 goes, and what step 2 involves.

Love in Christ

Longhorn

[Samson]

We need more informative threads like this un.  Iv'e learnt more in 3 days than i have in all my years of schooling.  Can't Yap to long today, I just received my " How to be a veterinarian (that means animal doctor to yall lay people) in 10 easy steps" in the mail.  Im 1/2 way finished with step 1.  How to get Bessy the cow to produce milk when she don't want to, and your hands are cold.

p.s.  I'll let you know how step 1 goes, and what step 2 involves.

Love in Christ

Longhorn

 Hey Longhorn,

                     I sincerely enjoy your comments, they make Our day(freckle girl & Samson), however I
                     think you have been spending, too much time with Bessie the Cow, Shannon the Sheep,
                     that Buzzard, Greta the Goat and Rodney the Rooster too long,  , only kidding with you.

                     Also, send me some of Bessie's Non Homogenized, Non Pasteurized Raw Milk to me, it's got
                     plenty of enzymes and it's good for my health. 

                                                     Kind Regards, Samson.