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Help with 1Cor.7:13

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hammerandnails:
Dear Sampson,
I thank you so for your words, and the link to Ray's advise.
It helped a lot.

Dear Antaiwan,
After being a churchite for a while, and after much suffering and anguish,I had purposed in my heart that I will
be authentic AT ALL COST!!
With this in mind, I will tell you that your post had brought something to my recollection. I remember a time when I had
hit people over the head with the bible.
Furthermore, NOW I can relate to how Job must have felt when his friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar, came to mourn
with him and to comfort him. :'(
BUT, I verily thank you, because I knew that at some point I've got to experience the taste of my own medicine.
Truly the will of my God be done.
In all fairness, they {Job's friends} could not relate or even began to phantom {even if seen with the eyes},
what Job was going through.
And I, my beloved brother, did not expand what exactly is going on.
So, I don't blame you one bit, and I forgive you for the bump on my head.
However, if we are truly chosen, and bear the mark of God, we should be able to speak to our brothers
and sisters in love and with no reservation. And let the one who think it stands, take heed lest
he falls. I desperately pray that we can speak without hiding behind a new mask called the Elect!!! :(
So, I love you brother in the presence of Christ my Saviour!!

Dear Claudia,
Your testimony was a breath of fresh air to my spirit.
I wept sore, as I do even now as I write these words, and my heart goes out to you.
I can relate to your pain, and I thank my God for igniting a spark in your husband heart.
May His name be blessed and glorified!!!!
I will plead for you and your husband and lift you before our God, that me may extend His mercy toward you!!!!! :'(

Since you have shared so much, I feel compelled to share as well, for you and I pray for the benefit of whomsoever may read.
I will do my best to keep it short.

For the purpose of understanding of the whole picture, I must take you back, only for a moment to my childhood.
I am from Romania, and I was born in Bucharest, on Jan.7, 1964.
In my childhood I was abused sexually by my uncle from as far as I can remember until
I was 15yo. I was beaten severely by my mother {that is the form of discipline in that neck of the woods}, with chains,
boards, furniture, glass, thrown outside in the middle of winter to sleep with the dogs { about seven of them}nights in a row.
All this was done on the altar of education. She will make somebody out of me!!!
A C will start a war until the neighbors that heard my screams will come and rescue me.
I would wake up at five Am almost every day, winter or summer, no matter to buy fresh bread, milk and cigarettes.
My play time consists of cleaning, laundry, sweeping, cooking, washing windows, floors, dishes, and taking care of my brother and sister
[I am the oldest}.
I was raped at 16 as I returning home {after I ran away} by this man who posed as a Taxy driver.
He took me in the woods, and on the way he described to me how he is that he will kill me after.
After he make me perform despicable acts while he was driving, I was able to free myself
and jump out of the car at a speed of 60 miles an hour.
After that, I don't remember anything exept that I saw a house with a dim light hanging from the roof.
Now I know who saved me.
After that I got married to escape the hell that I was in and jumped into another hell.
But that is another story.
I want to say that I NEVER, NEVER CONSIDERED MYSELF A VICTIM. I NEVER BLAMED ANYBODY FOR WHAT
I SUFFERED OR WHAT I DID!!!!
Fast track to 1986. I came to America!!
I divorced my husband [it feels like] as soon as I touched the ground of this country.
I was alone with a 4 mo. old living on welfare [in Romania I was rich, I mean really rich].
I never complained, no, not even for a moment!!!!
I went to college and became an RN in 1994.
I was an RN in Romania as well.
I moved to Florida and worked as an RN.
I become very successful very fast and I was promoted until I was no more promotion to be given me
for the level of education that I possessed.
With that came the self aggrandizement, pride, drinking, partying, all all the material possesions that I
can possibly want. I bought 2 houses and I drove the most expensive Lexus there was.
My husband [which I've met and moved in with him in 1988], was an illegal and he could not work, since he had 3 deportation orders.
We eventually got married.
I 1996, I started to use and abuse drugs from work. It started small, with a pill and escalated to injecting the most powerful drugs
that existed on the face of the earth.
In 1997 I got pregnant with my 10 year old, and my first thought was to abort him.
By then I had 21 abortions under my belt.!!!!!!!!!!! :o
Shocked??? :o :o :o
I am speaking the truth as Christ is my witness!!!!
When I went for the abortion, the doctor told me that he cannot perform the abortion because I was 4.5 mo. pregnant
and he had to place me in the hospital and dilate me for 24 hours, then he can perform the procedure.
That will cost 1000$ which I did not have. I attempted to borrow the money, but nobody that I asked had any.
So, I decided along with my husband to keep the baby.
When I went to the first prenatal visit, I told the nurse practitioner that the baby is moving.
She ever so lovingly laughed at me and said: It is impossible, dear, you are barely 2 mo pregnant!!!!
See here the hand of God????
I stopped taking  drugs for the duration of my pregnancy, but soon enough they returned with a vengeance!!
I stole drugs from the hospital, from patients!!
I was like a kid in the candy store. My husband found out and he treathen-ed me that if I dint stop
he will report me to the hospital. So I detoxed by myself in my mom and dad's house.
I did not sleep for 5 days straight. I vomited my guts out, but I did it but it did not last.
I wanted so bad to stop, but it didn't. My husband throwed me out of the house and I lived in motels with my stash!!
I was still working as a nurse. Nobody knew. I never endangered the life of any patient, but I stole their
drugs.
At that point I was injecting in one dose enough to kill 10 horses. And I did this several times a day.
When people talk about one overdose, I laugh. I overdosed dosens of times, conservatively speaking.
There was no vein on my body that I did not poked, even in my fingers and toes, including my breasts.
I had gashing gaps on my body that got infected, including in the soles of my feet.
Even now I have a hard time walking because of the caluses that formed.
To make the story short, finally came the divine intervention!!
One night as I called my husband to talk to my son, he made this statement as my son was crying for me:
"You hear him, hear him good because you will never hear him again!"
In that moment I woke up!!!!
I couldn't walk, I crowled to the bathroom and discarded all my drugs in the toilet. Even to the day I cannot understand how the toilet did not overflow, because they were little bottles.
I came back home to my mom which lived in my guest house at the time, and collapsed on the bed exhausted.
2 hours later they called 911 because I was vomiting blood. I have not eaten in three mo. and had two ulcers of the size of Alaska.
I detoxed in the hospital in 6 days.
Now, let me tell you about how the Lord worked in my life as I see it now:
And as Christ is my witness I speak the truth:
In 1995, as I was driving home from work, I had a vision.
I believe it was the Lord, altough I cannot be sure 100%. In front of my car, this man dressed in sack cloth
appear in front of my car, and was extending something to me that he had in his hands.
It was a gift, but I could not discern what it was.
I don't know how long it lasted, but I don't even remember even driving home the rest of the way!!
I just "woke up" in front of my house, with the car perked.
Few days later, I accepted the Lord Jesus into my heart as my Lord and Saviour.
In my bedroom. Alone.[no other physical presence] No church, no music, no preacher, only a presence that brought me to my knees.
Just to mention that 3 days before I was listening to TBN and they were inviting people to come to Christ.
I did not do it then, but when the presence came 3 days later. I was like He brought it to my memory, and I did it.
Fast track, in 2006, after I had fallen away from the church, alone in my kitchen, time stood still and I stood on the sand of the sea!!!!
I heard a voice behind me, and I turned to see the voice!!!!
That's why when I read Ray's teachings, in that moment I knew!!! :o
The "voice" [you understand that it was not a physical voice], said this:
"Are you ready now??"[more like a statement and a question in the same time],
"This is your time, are you ready now??"
There was no time. Only Him.
Again," are you read?"
At that moment I KNEW I WAS READY!!!!I COUNTED THE COST, PRODIGAL SON COMING HOME IN THE SAME TIME!!!!
I CROSSED THE POINT OF NO RETURN!!!!
An hour before that happened, I was blaspheming and cursing God. I said so many f words, that the English dictionary
can't contain!!!!See the pattern???
For the following 6 mo. I read the bible not stop!!!
When I say non stop, I mean I could not stop!!!
In the kitchen, in the bathroom, nights and nights with no sleep, every waking moment.
On June 16, 2006 at 08:55 Am, as I was driving to work, something engulfed my car and I could not drive anymore!!!!
I was on the turnpike, and my only thought was that I was gonna crush. But I didn't.
No words, no voice, just an overwhelming presence that made me shake like a leaf. It was like I've leaped out of my body but I wasn't.
I pulled over, I don't know how, and payed the toll, I don't know how, and pulled over. I was not able to move
for 2 hours.I was baptized into the body and His death!!!!
But I did not know it at the time.
That day I was in ecstasy!!!
A year later, in 2007, i had offered my body a living sacrifice to the Lord.
On 5.21.2008 the fire fell.
On that day, as I was getting ready to go to work, I cried out loud:
"Let it be known to every devil in hell and to satan himself, that I serve the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, I will bow my knee
to no other God, Him and Him only will I serve and be faithfull even if I die!!"
Eight hours later, I got fired.
Three days later, he, [my boss of 5 years], called me and said that he will kill me if I try to take his clients.
He, [my boss], will sue me until I have nothing left.
I filed a police report but the prosecution is still going on.
Five days later, on 5.26 my dad had a stroke and my mom a heart attack IN THE SAME DAY!!!! ??? :o ??? :o ??? :o
He is paralyzed on the left side [never been sick one day in his life], and was at the point of death.
Doctors gave him 0 chances of survival, but he made it and so did mom.
I spent 2 mo. in hospitals and nursing homes, praising God with tears running down my face.
On 6.21.08, I had to move from my apt. were I lived with my 10 year old, guess where, to my husband that I left
4 years earlier with my nose up thinking that I will necer need him, I'll make it with the help of God.
I walked in with my head down, and praising God.
Since then, I am in Gehenna!!!
My husband thinks that there is God, then him under God and then the rest of humanity.
He [my husband], knows all things, can do all things and he is never wrong!!!!
Not only that he is never wrong, but everybody is stupid. He scorns me every day, "where is your God now??"
then he answers: " Oh, I know, he is on my side!!"
As for me, I feel empty. I can hardly walk most days. I physically feel like someone is scourging me with a cat of nine tails.
I cry myself to sleep most of the nights, begging God to give me a moment of peace. Only a moment.
I had a car accident about 10 days ago, it was not my fault, someone hit me in the passanger door as he was pulling out of a parking.
He has good insurance, but now the insurance co. is saying that it was not me who drove the car, it was my husband. How did they came up with that I don't know?
I cannot find a job despite my experience in teaching, and my degree.
My car is to be repossessed on the 17 of this month [my husband will not pay for my car payment].
I can not think straight, people must repeat things to me several times to understand them.
I look at my poor child, and I cannot even be a decent mother to him.
Things that I want to do I do not, and the wrong things that is what I do.
THERE IS NOTHING IN THIS WORLD THAT I DESIRE THE MOST THAN TO GIVE GOD GLORY AND HONOR
I WILL GIVE UP MY LIFE IN A MOMENT WITH NO SECOND THOUGHT IF HE ASK OF ME, I LOVE HIM AND HIS LOVE IS CONSUMING ME!!!!
My senses are all gone. I can barely see, my vision is poor, my strength is gone.
All my friends that I did not see in a long time, came to see me that they might glory in my tribulation.
I am everybody's scorn all day long.
My husband thinks I am good for nothing, and he let me know that 100 times a day.
Just when I think there are no more tears, they come again.

Now, the reason that I asked how is my husband sanctified is for me to know
and have a little hope as I ENDURE all these things.
I am in darkness, even that I study the God's word daily, several hours with tears running down my face,
it is painfull for me even to read.
I don't want God to save him for me, but for him. I want him to know and to feel the goodness of God in the land of the living!!!
I want sooooooo bad for him to understand the sacrifice and the price that He payed to ransome us!!!!
I WANT HIM TO KNOW!
I know scripture!!!
I need mercy!!!!!

daywalker:

--- Quote from: hammerandnails on November 04, 2008, 06:30:39 PM ---I have a question about the unbelieving husband and the believing wife.
My husband is not a believer.
Oh, he believes that is a God, and that is the extend of his beliefs.
We were separated for 4 years, and I decided that I would never marry or have a relationship
ever again. I dedicated my life to the Lord. But MY plan did not work out, as usual. ::) ;)
The Lord had other plans for me which included me returning to my husband broken and humiliated.
Since my return, I am being purged, burned, pruned and what ever else God is doing, and it hurts.
I am going through a lot of changes. Up today, down tomorrow, and some days I am brain dead!!!!  :'(
My question is on 1Cor.7:13,14
      "And the woman which has a husband that believes not, and if he be pleased to
       dwell with her, let her not leave him. (v.13)
       For the unbelieving husband is sanctified (set apart) by the wife, and the
       unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean;
       but now are they holy." (v.14)

Anybody can explain this to me?
How I am sanctifying my husband?
How is he set apart?
Anybody can relate to this?
Any words of edification?

Thank you.
Blessings
Ariel
       

--- End quote ---

Hello Ariel,

I may not have a precise answer for you, but a few passages of Scripture instantly popped into my head, which I think may help...

"Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing you shall heap coals of FIRE on his head"
- Romans 12:20

*I'm not implying that your husband is literally your enemy; I believe this Scripture can be applied to everyone in our lives*

"But who may abide the day of His coming? And who shall stand when He appears? For He is like a refiner’s FIRE, and like fullers’ soap. And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the LORD an offering in righteousness."
- Malachi 3:2

We know that symbolically GOD uses FIRE to purify our hearts, and our mind. GOD also uses his chosen to "spread His fire", if you will. "He makes his angels winds, his servants flames of fire." - Hebrews 1:7 (Also Psalm 104:4)

I believe that may be what the message is in 1 Cor 7:13-14, at least partially...

Remember: "For as He (Jesus) is, so ARE WE in this World." - I John 4:17

Hope that helps,

Christopher.

hammerandnails:
I beg for your forgiveness,
in my haste, I did not say that I love you all,
and I thank you humbly for your words.
 Blessings,
Ariel

hammerandnails:
Dear Christopher,
Yes, it helped.
I am trying very hard to be a humble wife.
Since I don't have a job, I keep my house tidy, always food on the table when he comes
from work.
Whatever he ask of me I do to the best of my ability.
I used to be a control freak, but no longer.
I put my head down and agree with whatever he says, even if I know is wrong.
He likes to contradict a lot, and he will bring home pages of printed "bible contradictions"
for me to explain.
He labors to make me miserable.
Don't get me wrong, I respect my husband, he is a honest man.
He never cheated on me, he works hard at home and at work,
he is an outstanding member of society.
By all human standards, he is great!!
I appreciate him, and I try hard to honor him.
But is very hard when he thinks that everybody is stupid, including myself,
and laughs at everybody's problems.
One night, our neighbor came to our door to begged us to call 911 because someone had tried
to break into her house, and her phone was dead.
He slammed the door on her face because how dare her to wake him up.
I pray for him every day!!
But how long Lord? How long??

Love you all
Ariel

walt123:
Hi Ariel

After reading your story ,I am sorry you had to go through that,I pray that GOD will help
you to see what you will need to do next,mean time surround your self with people that
will love you and give you hope for better times.
Also doing the right things hurts ,but no has the right to mistreat another.
I say this because i knew someone who had similar things happen in her life.

prayers for you ,Ariel


walt

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